BROWNSKINAIJACHIC

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2011-11-24T09:15:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful this thanksgiving. I am thankful for everything. The sorrow, pain, joy and happiness. God has been faithful to me and my family. I really can't take him enough. I am thankful for family, friends, life, health, my blog and my followers. I am mostly grateful to God. Have a merry happy thanksgiving!. Be good for goodness sake :-)

WHAT GOES AROUND.....

2011-11-18T07:32:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all the lovely comments from my last post. I am grateful to you guyz, my family, friends and most especially the most high God. He really has been faithful to me. Still on the job hunt, but I am not bothered because I know something will eventually turn up great. How have you guyz been? Preparing for thanksgiving and black Friday right?

A couple of years ago I was invited for my first birthday dinner in yankee. I don’t know about you guyz, but when someone invites you for a dinner party, are they not suppose to foot the bills? I guess this happens only in Nigeria. The Nigerians in American have their own idea of dinner parties ( yes just Nigerians because I have been to other dinner parties and they foot the bills). Like I said, It was my first birthday dinner. I didn’t think too much about it.

I went there with a friend. I was dressed to impressed, sparks the peeps interest, good convo was all I expect (I just rhymed sha lol) . They were about 25 people there. In my mind I was just thinking, My goodness, this babe has money oh. How can she pay for 25 people? Plus the place looks expensive. Everyone introduced themselves, a little chit chat here and there. The waiter came and I ordered my meal. I actually felt sorry for the celebrants. I was considerate and I ordered something that was not too expensive. Everyone took their time to order, except this one babe sitting across from me. She was the only one who ordered appetizer and the main course. Her accent sef no be here lol, you know those strong ibo accent plus fone lol. ( I am not saying my accent is all that, but still)

The meal came and I couldn’t keep my eyes off the babe across me. She ate the appetizer alone, the main course; she ordered two more side dishes. She ordered two different drinks because the first one did not taste right. Then she ordered dessert. I looked around the table to check if I was the only one seeing this. To my amazement everyone was looking at her, some were even laughing at her ( rude much) .

The waiter came back with the bill and I heard the celebrant say something to him, but I couldn’t hear clearly. Five minutes later, I say the waiter giving everyone their separate bills. I nudged my friend beside me, I was like why are they giving us a separate bill. My friend went on to tell me the Nigerian American idea of dinner party. Even though I was shocked I was thankful I didn’t order much. I was thinking about the celebrant not knowing I will be the one paying eventually (it’s good to be good for goodness sake lol) . I looked at the girl across from me enjoying her appetizer. I saw the waiter give her the bill. She didn’t even look at it, she continued with her meal. A while later everyone was paying their individual bill. She was the only one left now. One of the girls that were laughing at her told her, “Hope you know you are the one paying”. Her food stopped midway and her eyes popped out. She was like eh! … I still don’t know how I held myself from laughing. It was just too funny. She looked at the bill for the first time. She was looking at the bill like she was about to take a major exam. I thought she was going to cry… lol. She pushed the desert away like it was bitter leaf. She checked her bag for like 15 minutes. Like me, this was her first dinner party as well. She had no idea she was the one footing her own bill. She was still checking her bag when one of the guys there opted to pay for her. She was like God bless you oh, God bless you, I didn’t know oh…

I am sure the next day she goes for a dinner party, she will order water and salad lol. What goes around comes back around ( sometimes to bite you in the butt lol). Have a wonderful thanksgiving break people!

P.S: The wonderful and talented blogger H, has a new website at wwww.dudunorth.com. Its an interactive story. Everyone should participate, it's really interesting. I just posted chapter 4. Common go to the website, you know you want to lol. Again its www.dudunorth.com then click on dudulove.

THANKFUL

2011-11-04T04:22:00.000-07:00

I know you hear this all the time, but God is really wonderful. I am listening to " how great is our God"  as I type this. I prayed an aggressive prayer with God, yes you heard me right. I said aggressive lol. When I really wanted something from my dad at a tender age, I got a little bit aggressive. Can you imagine a 6 or 7year old being aggressive lol ( just a little bit though). My point is that God is the only father I have now and I really wanted things to turn around ( i don tire small na, it wasn't easy oh) I prayed and whined to God. I remember when I was praying, I was listening to the same song " how great is our God" . I was like God I know you are great, but you have to proof to me, show me again.

Fews weeks later, things turned around. I passed my boards, ( I SAID I PASSED MY BOARD EXAM, in case you missed that lol) i have a couple of job interviews, I reconnected with one of my aunts I haven't spoken to in ages. One of my favorite brothers might be coming to Yankee this year ( well they are all my favorite this days lol) . Oh God is good sha like really. R. Kelly wasn't joking when he said "Prayer changes things"

 Took me a while, but I am finally here. I just want to testify and make it crystal clear...... I ain't good enough, but he still loves me. I ain't no superstar, spotlight ain't shining on me.... 

Everything happens for a reason. Whatever you are going through today. Stop complaining like a little kid, get down on your knees and talk to God. After all he is your father, talk to him like you would talk to your father on earth. It might not go as you want it, but God is mysterious like that lol ( he has a sense of humor ). He knows what he is doing

Happy new month 

We should pray for things that stretch our goals. Pray bold prayers, ask for big things. Do not sell yourself short. God has unlimited resources- Joel Osteen

I AM AWAKE

2011-09-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Hello loves. How have you guyz been? Hope you guys are good. I know my last post was really sad, but I am feeling a bit better now. At that moment I felt like that Green day’s song , “wake me up when September ends”.

Summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

I guess I am awake now lol, but on the real though I am feeling better. As long as I am still breathing and my heart is still beating, I have a purpose on this earth abi. Anyways my mum emailed me this story and it made me feel even better, so I decided it to share. It may be meaningful to you as it was to me.

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, 'Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty.'

Then the second tree said, 'Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take Kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull.'

Finally the third tree said, 'I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest Tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.'

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, 'This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter, 'and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree the woodsman said, 'This looks like a strong tree. I should be able to sell it to the shipyard.' The second tree was happy Because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, 'I don't need anything special from my tree, I'll take this one,' and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.

The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.

The third tree was cut into large pieces, and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and said 'Peace' and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, God will give you great gifts.

Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His Ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

Did I hear an Amen! .

Let me use this opportunity to thank some of the people who reached out to me. Caramel D thanks for the warm and kind messages on twitter. Thanks for calling me seye, you have always been a good friend. 9ja great thanks for always checking on me, you no get part 2 lol. Mizchif I am so grateful for your message, you did not only relate with me, but you also shared something personal. Random One I did not forget you oh , you know you are one of my yori yori’s lol. Thanks dearies : )

Thanks to my followers and the people who check on this blog every now and then. I hope I can blog about something happier soon.

Happy new month people. I hope you guyz have a wonderful independence weekend. Like rihanna would say, “cheers to the freakin weekend”.

IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY

2011-09-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. I know it’s been a while. How have you guyz been? I missed you guys. I promised myself that the next time I come here; I will blog about my grandma. She has been around for a while and I truly enjoyed their company, but I have not been a happy camper.

First half of this year was wonderful. I was overfilled with joy and happiness. My siblings either finished school, or got a job or got a promotion. Nothing could go wrong. My brother’s wife delivered a handsome baby boy. My first nephew ever, I was hoping for a girl, but oh well. To top it off I even graduated from nursing school. I was really grateful and thankful for God’s blessings to my family.

Second half of the year was shockingly different. First of all I lost a close friend. I did not believe he was dead until I saw his lifeless body during his funeral. I could not sleep at night or concentrate during the day. All I could think about was his lifeless body. My twin warned me to not look at the body, but did I listen? It took me about 3 weeks before I could have a good night sleep. It was a terrible period. I kept in touch with his family and I was glad to find out there were doing much better. I still pray for his family from time to time. My mum and my grandma were supported. I found a reason to smile again. A month later, after this incident, I got a call from my uncle in Nigeria. He told me my aunt passed away that morning. My aunt that I spoke to two days ago! . I even joked about bringing her to the states this December. Less than two months, another big blow in the stomach. It affected my grandma so much. My mum tried to be strong for both of us, but sometimes I feel her breaking down. I didn’t tell my friends. I just carried on like there was no problem in the world, yet I was weak inside.

I know it’s unhealthy to keep my emotions bottled up, but I can’t help it. I grew up with a lot of boys and they hardly show their emotions. I guess that is one of the bad habits I picked up from them. Blogger is one of the few places I can really let things out. I am still trying to get over my aunts death and put myself together. Then recently in the mail, I got the result of my test. I failed the test. The test I have been preparing for. I know they say I can still take the test again this year, but really I failed. I am still in shock because I prepared for it and I even prayed about it on several occasions. To top it off, I didn’t get the job I applied for a while ago.

At this point, I think I am almost completely shut down. I am emotionally drained, mentally weak and physically exhausted. However, I am still spiritually hopeful. The last time I got this low was when I lost my dad. I was powerless and prayed everyday for a couple of weeks that I die in my sleep. The difference between then and now is that I may be depressed and feeling really down, but I am not praying for death. I am hopeful and praying for a brighter day. It may seem really dark now, but I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I just hope this pain will stop before the end of this year. I may not know why all these things are happening right now, but I am a strong believer of the phrase, “everything happens for a reason”. Just remember me in your prayers. I hope next time I come here, I will be in a better mood : ). They say in every situation you find yourself, gives thanks to the lord. Thank you lord.

Congratulations to Sirius for the newest member of their family and Gee on her recent engagement. Nice anon we are going to miss you around this spot : )

AT THIS POINT

2011-07-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

So I have been trying to study all day and it’s not going as I planned. I am suppose to do about 300 questions daily till I write my boards, but I have done only 50 throughout the day. I don’t know jor I am so lazy these dayz. I think someone did voodoo on me the way Cleveland fans did voodoo on Lebron James lol. On the real though I am just blah…. I need motivation and more prayers lol. ( one can never pray enough you know).

I just got off the phone with my cousin, remember the one who graduated recently when I almost died on the plane back ( Thank God for my life). I love that boy mehh he is like my little brother. I am just so proud of him. We were talking about his babe ( she is white) and how his mum cannot really accept her. I feel bad for him because the girl is really nice. She is polite and very matured for her age. Did I tell you guyz she was even dancing to Gbono feli feli on my cousin’s grad party with her lirru waist lol. I mean is there anything really wrong with dating someone who is different from you. Nigerian parents carry it on their head like it’s a taboo or something. When I was younger I used to tell my dad that I will marry a white man just to make him angry ( after he annoys me lol). And he goes I will disown you if you do that. I mean common, my dad did not even marry a Nigerian so what was he yarning sef . Nigerian parents need to chill and let their children live their life. Abi what do you guyz think? ( don’t use style to insult me oh, it’s only opinions I asked for #justsaying lol) .

Meanwhile the ongoing story of my dreamful life ( Like my life does not have enough drama). I have been sorta of ignoring my friend’s call ( Lance’s fiancé ). Let’s call her Regina, so regina has been calling me and I have been painfully-conveniently-not-so- intentionally avoiding her calls. It’s not as easy as I thought. I was at her place the other day and she told me to say hi to Lance while she spoke to her friend on the other line. I was like no don’t worry I am good. She was like why, he asks about you once in a while just say hi

.Then I was like that is it! Regina, I need to get this out of my chest ( Like Usher, I had a confession moment, these are my confessions… ). Here goes nothing. I used to talk to lance a while ago and I think I still have something for him and I think he feels the same way too and she was like what? . You and my Lance? I thought you were my friend. How can you stand in front of me and tell me you like…….

Pause! Rewind and Play back

Of course I didn’t tell her that. Do I look like I am smoking something or i am related to Bobby Brown ( wetin concern bobby brown na, sometimes I say the weirdest thing lol) . All these were playing in my head when she told me to say hi to lance. I said hi and the conversation felt awkward mehh. I spoke very fast and gave the phone back to regina. I told her I needed to step outside for a while. I don’t know jare, I think I am kinda-sorta- 15% sure that there is something there and 85% sure that its all in my head ( not like Jason derulo’s song though lol). Let this wedding come and go biko lol. Mid life crises can’t be worse than this. I will be okay. Like someone said, all I need to do is swallow the little feelings I have and drink it with a tall glass of water shikena!. I mean compare 15% and 85%, if you do the math there should be nothing there. I will be okay, you will see. * fingers crossed while reciting the lord’s prayer* . I got this. Thanks for the advice from my last post, I really appreciate your considerations. You guyz wuv me sha, I know you do cos I wuv you plenty plenty.

**********************************************************************************************

Lemme go chill with some of my peeps jare since book refuse to enter today. Have a lovely week ahead and happy new month : ) . Congrats to the nominees of NBA.

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources.

Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the coworker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.

The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What is sexually threatening about a coworker telling you your hair smells nice?

The woman replies, "It's Keith...... The midget."

Man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed. "Where the hell have you been?!?!"

"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."

"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!"

She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You God damn liar!!! You went bowling again!!!"

I HAD A THOUGHT

2011-06-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

I met him through my friend at another friend’s get together. He was easy on the eye. He reminded me of lance gross, but a slightly lighter version. I noticed him a few times and I think he noticed me as well ( Maybe in my head). I asked a couple of my friends who he was. None of them seem to know him. He wasn’t from these parts. I guess that was why he seemed so different from the rest. He was by himself through out. I was going to say hi, but I was like if the guy is feeling me he would say hi na. Plus I can be unnecessarily shy sometimes ( a shocker abi? Who would have thought moi shy)? After a while I was like abeg jor. It’s not that serious.( even though dude was seriously foine lol) I was like let me enjoy myself in the parry jare. If it was meant to be it will be

I was about to leave and I saw one of my friends( lemme call him Nonso) I haven’t seen in a long time. When I just came into the country, he was one of the guys that showed me around. He was one of my few male friends that just liked me as a friend ( not trying to take it to the next level). Although, he used to tell his mum that I am her future daughter-in-law lol ( Another story for another day). Anyways so i was catching up with my old pal and like a day time soap opera, Nonso happened to know him ( lemme call him Lance). He stood close to Nonso, not saying anything. I didn’t know if he was staring at me or someone else because he had his shades on. I turned back to Nonso, but I couldn’t understand what Nonso was telling me again. I knew he was talking, I saw his lips moving and I couldn’t comprehend if he was speaking English again lol. He sounded like those chopped and screwed songs. ( With lance standing there like on Hulk Hogan, how can I concentrate). I couldn’t take it any longer and I said hi to Lance. He turned towards me as if he was seeing for the first time and said hello back and he goes I saw you checking me out. I was like huh (this dude must be feeling himself oh). He said has only kidding. Nonso introduced us to each other. Told me lance was from another state, he just came in a few days ago to see his uncle who lives here.

I spoke to Lance for another 20 minutes and we exchanged numbers afterwards. He called me that night and we spoke for a couple of hours. He was not just funny and cute, he was also a serious Christian ( just day 1, so far so good). After that he called me every day. I grew to really like him, till I lost my phone or I think someone stole it ( you see devil). It took me a few weeks to get a new phone, but when I eventually did, I couldn’t get the numbers from my old phone. Strange because when I changed my phone the last time I got all my contacts and text messages. ( see what I am talking about, bad belle). I couldn’t get in touch with him or Nonso ( when nonso was giving me his new number at the get together, I was temporarily deaf oh) . Lance didn’t call me again.

That was almost 13 months ago. Fast forward to a few weeks ago before my graduation. A friend of mine was telling about her new boyfriend. I can’t remember if I asked her or she was just telling me. Anyways she told me I will meet him soon. Shey I said my life is some sort of a day time soap opera . Of course it was lance na. From all the guys she should have introduced me to. It just has to be lance. He was very friendly though. He treated me like an old friend and told the babe that he met me last year at a function ( he spared her the rest of the details sha lol) When we were alone, he asked me what happened. He said he taught we liked each other and all of sudden I stopped calling him. My phone was constantly turned off. He said he tried again a couple of days later and he afterwards he decided to let it go. I told him how I lost my phone and contacts and how I even tried to get in touch with Nonso, but to no avail. I was still explaining when my friend came in. I didn’t talk to him afterwards, the few times I saw him we said hi to each other and that was it. There was no use complicating things. Meanwhile my friend talks about him 24/7. I didn’t mind before, but now that I know it was lance. I wish she could take a 5 minutes break once in a while ( My goodness)

On graduation day, I saw him and he congratulated me. I told him I was really happy for him and my friend ( I honestly was happy for them though). I told him I wish them all the best. Fast forward to a couple of days later. She is engaged and she wants me to be in her bridal train. Wahala dey lol. I am happy for them, but why did she have to put me inside bridal train now. Lord help me, I need to be constantly reciting the lord’s prayer and emphases the “deliver us from evil and leads us not into temptation* . People pray for me oh. I was telling a friend of mine this story a few days ago and I was like I guess it wasn’t meant to be and she goes, “ you think” lol. What helpful friends I got right lol. Meanwhile my grandma is still coming this month oh. Shey if I was the one getting married she would let me be. I am still studying for my board exam. Seems like I need a lot of prayers this period lol. Have a nice one people. Thanks for all the congratulatory comments. Love y’all .

******************************************************************************************
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney : Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fools!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

SHIKENA

2011-06-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful people. I know it has been a while. I love you (hope am forgiven), I know you love me too : ) Yes you do, there is no use denying it lol . This time it was for a good reason no bull. Gosh I have been so busy and this time it really paid off. Your gurl graduated yo yes oh. You are now talking to an American nurse ( not the Nigerian movie, this is for reals ). I got my BSN, all I have to do is to pass my boards like neato will say shikena (levels don change now, dey no fit hold me again now I’m 10/10… shikena, shikena, shikena oh lol ). Wait does that not have a nice ring to it. My name is BSNC and I got a BSN (nor be God, I am on some oleku stuff, feeling myself lol). On the real though Thank you Jesus, you have been wonderful to be. I will say it again I may not have a father on Earth, but I definitely have an almighty Father in Heaven.

I graduated, my cousin graduated, my brother graduated, my other brother is officially a doctor, the last born is soon to be an Engineer and I am expecting my first niece/nephew ( hoping it’s a girl) in a couple of month. I got stopped by a state trooper on my way out of state because I was doing 98 on a 55mph. Instead of giving me a 200 fine and 2 points like they normally do, he just gave me a 50 fine. First time I got stopped by the police. I almost passed out lol. You can’t tell me this family is not blessed. I am so grateful to God almighty. He promised he will never fail me and he has kept his promise.

Where are my manners? Happy new month people, may God bless you and your family as much as he has blessed mine. All you have to do is have faith and believe. ( I don turn pastor for the matter lol). So what have you guyz been up? What have I missed? Did any blogger hook up, did someone win the lottery? Did anyone miss me *ahem* .

Since I got out of school I have been traveling around. Went on a mini vacation, enjoyed the beach even though the sun almost grilled me, went to visit some friends out of state, and went for my cousins’ graduation out of state. I just got back a couple of days ago. I have to start studying for my board exams, its not by shikena lol.

I have a lot to thank God for. I almost died on my trip to my cousins’ graduation. It was during the period they had that tornado in Missouri. The plane was shaking so fast, drinks were pouring on the floor. I looked out the window and all I saw was black thick clouds with lightening. I was praying and singing songs of praise. In my mind I was like if I die, I already have a degree (who thinks like that lol). It was the most frightening experiences of my life. I don’t know how we pushed through it, but I will tell you for sure that God was in control of that plane. I was just imagining if one of my brother’s that is scared of flying was on that plane. Dude will either pass out or shit on his pants, no kidding lol. In other news my grandma is coming in a few weeks, the one that is steady on my case about get married. Lord I need you.

Have a wonderful month people. God bless you. Lemme go eat some BBQ chicken my brother is making downstairs. I would tell you to join me, but you guyz are far away lol .

P.S : Thank you 9 ja great, Myne, GNG, FlyHigh, Caramel, kitkat, Nikko sho and 2cute4u for checking on me. I appreciate you guyz for that. mwah. Kitkat I saw your pic on twitter, you are one hot omoge oh lol

*************************************************************************************

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid lady..why else would I buy dog food??
( Talk about sarcasm)

A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

UPDATE

2011-03-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

Hey honey bunches. How have you guyz been? Missed you guys oh. It’s been a busy month. Talk about marching all over me. Awww you guyz are so sweet. Thanks I actually finished the paper later on that day. She gave me a B, I thought I failed or something. I think I was typing that paper with one eye open lol. I barely slept the past few weeks; I finally slept for 15 hours straight yesterday. I know I was knocked out alright.

I got two lovely awards from three amazing bloggers. I got two “One lovely blog awards” from 9ja-Great and Pretty lashes and another award “The irresistible sweet blog award” from the one and only blessing. Thanks for the awards coconut candies lol

The first award is 7 facts about me.
• I love babies. I love hugging them, holding them, playing with them. I love their scent, smile, laugh and baby babble. My mum said when I was four; I was the only one who made my cousin stop crying when my aunt and her husband were almost going insane. I got the magic in me, I got the magic baby lol ( love that song). I got the magic touch.

• It seems most of the artist I really like have some controversy attached to them. Like I love R. Kelly and they say he loves the younglings. I love Kanye West; we all know he can be arrogant lol. I love Alicia keys; she was allegedly going out with someone’s husband….. I think they are brilliant in what they do though. Am I right or am I right?

• I love meeting people from different cultural backgrounds. Since I can remember i have always loved learning about other cultures. I have this group of friends I study with. My brother calls them my colorful friends. They are seven of us; myself, the Portuguese chic, the Filipino, the Ghanaian, the sierra Leonean, the Ibo, the Indian and the Kenyan guy. We may be so different, but when I get to really know them I realize that we are still the same. I love it when we go to each other’s houses to study because I get to eat their delicacy. They enjoy coming to my house because they can’t enough of my jollof rice. I try lol.

• I enjoy watching old classical movies and listening to old music some times. It makes you appreciate how technology has improved; the picture qualities and sound system. The other day I was listening to ABBA’s “dancing queen” and singing out loud. My brother came into the room and he was like what is wrong with you? Lol. Then I played “lady in red” by Chris de burgh and my brother just walked away…lol. I love that song though; I can never get tired of listening to that song. It inspired my blog profile picture.

• I enjoy watching scary movie. I know it’s weird, but I just want to see how scared I can become. Most of the time, the movies are not scary, just a bit disgusting.

• I can be shy and reserved. I can also be animated and very mischievous. It depends on how I perceived you.

• I love playing games with my brothers and my male friends. I enjoy trashing them and seeing the look in the eyes. You know the I-can’t-believe--this-girl-can-play-games-and-trash-me-in-the-process-look. It makes me feel so empowered…lol. Ask Sirius she knows how it feels, she is my game buddy.

I think everybody got an award for this one, but if you haven't please do it. I have given you the award. Yes, you, you and you too dear I see you lol

The second award is my 5 guilty pleasures.
• I love strawberry. Strawberry cake, strawberry ice cream, strawberry fruits, strawberry shake. Anything strawberry.

• Some actors I can never get tired of; Robert de Niro, Bruce Willis, Mark Walberg, Ben Stiller, Will Smith and of course my personal favorite RMD- Richard Mofe Damijo.

• I think kitkat is one of my favorite chocolate. It’s just so delightful.

• I enjoy listening to inspirational songs. I think “if you’re not the one” by Daniel Bedingfield is one of the most beautiful song out there.

• I love surprising people. Most people think I am this quiet, reserved chic. When they get to know me they are like wow you know this, you do that, you have done that…lol. It is amusing.

I am suppose to give three people this award. It goes to Tigeress, Afrobabe and Dante : ). My fellow runaway bloggers lol.

I am supposed to be on spring break more like no break. I had just a day break and now I have to go to PA for a conference tomorrom. I will check if Scranton, Dunder Mifflin paper company is there and say hello to Michael, Dwight, Jim and Pam..lol. yes I am a fan of “the office”. I will make my blog rounds soon : )

*********************************************************************************************

Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.

Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Carolyn agreed and again they made love.

Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said, "Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.

Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours.

He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?"

His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm not being funny ..but I have to get up in the morning and you don't!."

I will seek and find You . . I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

Now, get your mind out of the gutter and Go get your flu shot!

CHEERS

2011-03-02T22:40:00.000-08:00

I just finished typing a project that is due tomorrow night. I was so relieved. I went downstairs to get something to drink. When I got back, the screen had this not responding phrase and the page disappears. The whole 12 pages disappeared. I am laughing now, but 10 minutes ago I was almost in tears. Gosh I feel like screaming. Then I thought of one of my happy places blogger, so here I am..lol. I will worry about that project tomorrow ( I can’t fit shout, I am not willow smith).

Anywho how have you all been? I missed you guyz oh. I really do. Hope the feeling is mutual *crickets* . It’s all good I still missed you guyz anyways. Yes welcome to the month of March. Hope we will march forward this month. I have 17 birthdays coming up this month from my family and friends. It’s a full month indeed. I need to budget for all the cards and presents I am going to buy this month or I can just move to another town.. no? . I don’t know if it’s just me or is it because it’s a new month, but people are surprisingly nice to me. People are naturally nice to me, but these particular ones barely give me the time of day. I don’t get it. As in teachers, colleagues, even my mum..lol ( long story). I am not complaining or anything it’s just weird. I like it though maybe God knows I deserve a break. Thank you lol

My blog will be two this month. I can’t believe my baby has grown so fast. How times flies. I am so proud of him (my blog, yea yea it’s a He. Deal with it lol). I remember when I started blogging, it seemed like a marriage and we were in the honeymoon stage. I was so into my blog. It’s the first thing I check in the morning and the last thing I check at night. I go to bed typing my next post in my head, dreaming about bloggers I have never met or seen. I was so anxious to be first on people’s blog and waiting to see who would be first on mine. Blogger was like a community, a whole different world on his own( like a new planet or something) with this online family you want to explore. I want to read more post and learn more about these individuals. I had a few crushes (well E- crush lol). I even found out that some of them had a crush on me too. Of course I was flattered. Then slowly and surely most of my favorite blogs disappeared. They just woke up one morning and decide to quit their blogs or they stopped updating. While others promise they will update soon. Soon turned from days, to weeks, to month and now years. I don’t blame most of them though blogger has changed a little. A lot of the bloggers changed and I blame twitter for that. Twitter took out the mystery from blogsville. 60% of the bloggers who no longer update their blogs are on twitter. I had to go to twitter myself to see what all the fuss was about. It was okay I guess at least I got to mingle with the bloggers again. I am hardly there these dayz though. I realize anytime I go there my anonymity slowly slips away. I love my anonymity,It gives me the freedom to write whatever I like. Although my brother calls me brownskinchic sometimes, hyena lol. Yea he found out somehow. I guess he was wondering why I was always smiling to my laptop..lol. Just to check if his sis is still sane. I went downstairs one day and he was like brownskinchic how far. I was like what.. he said it again, I acted like I didn’t know what he was talking about, but it got old and he told me how he found out. Guys can be so aprokoish sometimes…lol . I mean I love you and all, but a girl needs her privacy jor. Anyways back to twitter. I think most if not all the bloggers have their pictures up now. It was so bad I woke up one morning and put mine up too for like 2 minutes and I was like what am I doing? Lol. Then I took it out immediately, a few people saw it though. As a result I have one new crush, so it wasn’t all bad.

Wow my blog is actually two years old sha. I am so grateful for everyone who has ever commented on my blogs, my followers, the departed bloggers who I miss so much (hope you guyz are doing well in your individual lives), the friends I have made through bloggers, facebook and even twitter sef ( well I had to give them a little credit), the new and old bloggers who found their way to my blog (glad you did). I hope I rekindle my love for blogger like before. I still love blogger don’t get me wrong, but these dayz I feel I have change as a writer. Well they say change is the only constant thing in the world, we just hope we change for the better. I would have written a long list of names like I did for my 50th post, but that got me into trouble because even from the 200+ names I listed, I still manage to leave some names out..lol. Thanks blogger for giving me a place of solitude and thanks to the bloggers who left me smiling, dreaming, laughing out loud, confused, happy, sad, hopeful, teary-eyed, knowledgeable, inspired, infatuated, curious, excited and most importantly reminding to be thankful to God.

I heart you guyz. I honestly do. All the best this month. Hope to see you guys soon or in the month of my birth (April) and no my name is not avril..lol

*****************************************************************************************

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told George and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... and left it there all night

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married.

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl once. I guess she was the one perfect girl, the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said.

NOTHING EVER PROMISE TOMORROW TODAY

2011-02-10T17:50:00.000-08:00

Hey lovely people. I can’t believe I am updating again so soon. I feel so happy today and no I am not bi-polar or anything. I know some of you would be like where you not the one that was upset yesterday. Well I feel better now ( do you have a problem with that? Lol) Ignore me jor. I did tell you guyz to give me a minute and I will feel better. Here I am feeling better. No my brother did not buy me a new I touch. I asked him indirectly several times and he gives me this look like I said Michael Jackson was downstairs. I don’t like disturbing people; I will just let him be. I have my pride too. I have a big ego as big as my cousin’s head. Gosh that boy has a huge head sha . Love him to pieces though, but whoa lol. I hope he outgrows it or grow into it rather. ( my uncle used to laugh at kids who had big head. Be careful who you laugh at…) The reason I am so merrily happy is that I am alive, is that not a big enough reason. Well that too, but the real reason is that wait for it…. Wait for it….

I am going to be an aunt!!! *now doing the dougie dance* Nah not really lol I leave the dancing for my cousin.

My brother is expecting, wait that did not come out right lol. My brother’s wife is expecting. Oh my goodness I am going to spoil that girl (that is me hoping it’s a girl). I want a baby girl because 80% of my cousins are boys, too much testosterone in the family. I am going to do her hair and stuff, take her out to show her off. She is going to be just as cute as me lol. I am going be the good aunt and my sister well...lol. Of course just as lovely. This is the news I needed to hear from all the nonsense that have been trying to mess this month for me. I am now feeling the valentine love. Finally this news will get my grandma out of my hair. She was expecting me to give her, her first great grandchild. I know it amazes me too considering that i have older brothers and my sister is the older one ( well two minutes give or take, still). I think it’s going to be a summer or spring baby. All that matters I am going to be an aunt pretty soon.

In case you are wondering how i came up with the title. Its from Mr. West song. Nothing ever promise tomorrow today. Yesterday i was really feel down, but i am the happiest soon to be aunty now. Isn't God just amazing, he always finds a way to put a smile on my face. What more can i say, thank you lord. Like them P-square would say " tell me who made it possible". Only God oh.

P.S: All of you who wished i had a better week from my previous post thanks alot because your wishes came through. You guyz are amazing seriously : )

****************************************************************************************
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanna you lisin to me. I want for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa I really don’t like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead. "

"You lisina to me, soma day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambino."

"Soma day you goina coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. What do you do than? Point to your watch and say TIMES UP?"

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice.

The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why.

The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "He's a midget

WHAT A WEEK

2011-02-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody. How has your week been so far? Unlike mine, hope yours was great. I thought it was supposed to be a love month. This week has not been good to me. I started it by having a disagreement with one of my close friends. I still do not know what the argument was about. Anytime he has a problem with his babe, he takes it out on the first person he talks to. Guess who that person was lol. He will be okay. I am praying for him.

I went to school the other day. I had this exam I wasn’t really ready for, but I just saw my grade. I did pretty well. Anyways I came home and I felt odd. There was something off, but I couldn’t place it. I had lunch, watched an episode of “the office” and I was about to hit my books again when I had that odd feeling again. Then it dawned on me, my I touch (my baby) was missing. I frantically emptied my bag, checked my room, my car.. I even drove back to school. Nothing, it was gone. I called someone who was in the class I was reading at. She told me someone saw the I touch and they left in on the teacher’s desk. I got back home late at night. There was nothing I could do. I had to wait till the next day. At least I was hopeful.

The next as early as 7, met with the professor. This lady said she actually left the I touch in the class. Who does that though when someone clearly stated that it was a missing item?. I have a feeling she took it, but why? I have a lot of videos, pictures and apps. It was painful sha. To top it all, I came home to find out I got a speeding ticket. Like really, am i on a prank show or something. I am trying to get my brother to buy me a new one, but the guy is just being unnecessarily stubborn. Is not like I didn’t ask nicely. Oh well its gone, I will be okay I just need a minute( see why i don't like getting too attached to things). I called VSNC, God bless her heart, she really cheered me up. She talked to me for a while and gave me some links to this radio show she listens to, it was amusing to me. If you want to have a good laugh. check it out.

http://power953.com/Player/100817131/

http://power953.com/Player/100662711/

http://power953.com/Player/100663181/

http://power953.com/Player/100674191/

Happy Valentine day in advance people. I Hope the month gets better : (

**************************************************************************************

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly, she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen, and walked over to inspect it. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escaped.

Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed and hoped a sales person didn't pop up right now. But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, was a salesman.

With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted simply from touching the vehicle, you are going to sh*t when you hear the price."

P.S: Thanks alot GNG for cheering me up. You are such a sweetheart : ).

P.SS: H see i updated : )

EVERYTHING ABOUT NOTHING (random thoughts)

2011-02-03T22:35:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody. Happy new month, it’s the month of …. Yea that. So how have you guyz been? Thanks a lot for the comments from my last post, you guyz are so sweet. Glad to share a little about myself. I can’t believe some of you still do not know I have a twin sister. I say it every single time like really every time. Anyways like I have said a thousand times ( yes miss natural and jaycee lol) I have a twin sister. I call her VSNC (vanilla skin…) because she is light skinned and vanilla ish and I am brown skinned and yummy ish lol.

When my professor told me this semester was going to be stressful. She wasn’t playing at all. I am taking 4 classes plus two clinical ( almost 17 abi is it 18 credit). This Monday she told us if we were having a good night sleep, it means we were on the wrong profession ( we go turn vampire overnight for the matter na shebi). I am so tired. I am slowing losing my friends. They used to be understanding, but its seem they are tired of me ( I no blame them jor. I tire for myself too). They are complaining that I don’t call them or go out like I used to. The other day one of them was complaining and calling me all sort of name. See me see wahala on top the stress I am in right in. ( my mama never cause me like that sef, biko shift oh ) Abeg I can’t ahn ahn do I look like her boyfriend. Shuoo is it because I am quiet. I don’t like wahala for anything. If I see wahala coming my way I would run like I was training for a marathon.

If I tell VSNC she will be laughing at me. The babe do not have female friends per say. It took her a while to tolerate females, but with my help she finally accepted them ( very strange somebody this my darling sis ). She used to call me the queen of friendships. When I was younger, to overcome my shyness I used to make it my mission to be friends or just talk to everyone in my class ( my mate dey go school go read ). Then I got to college and this one boy refused to talk to me. I frustrated him till we became good friends ( I can be annoying like that in a good way though) I found out two weeks later that he was a cultist ( who send me message abi). Funny enough he didn’t threaten me or anything like the stories my brothers used to tell me about them. He was strangely cool and cute too (hehe yes he was). A couple of months later he asked me out. I had to make up this story that I was going out with my family friends. I made the dude( family friend) follow me wherever I go. Not that I was scared of the cultist guy or anything, but my brothers told me to not talk to or encourage any cultist. I made my family friend follow me for the first 3 months until I never saw the cultist guy again ( I hope he didn’t die or something). Come to think of it most of the cute boys I was checking out then did not approach me thanks to my family friend. (There goes my chance of having cute babies ). That was the closest cultist friend I ever had. Wait that was the only cultist friend I had. Where am I going with this story ( no idea).

I was talking about VSNC right . At a point when I was growing up, I used to think I was the only girl in the house. Then we both grew up and had boobies, so I knew we were definitely babes’ lol. Anyways like I was saying, my friends are mad at me and I am tired of apologizing. It’s not like I am staying busy on purpose. Jay Z couldn’t say it any better “ it’s a hard knock life” , but like Joe said in “better dayz” – there will be better days ( where is joe anyways. I miss his music. I miss the old r &b. good thing I have john legend for backup).

I just finish typing a 15 page paper that I thought was due next week. It was due 12am today. I still don’t know how I did it or what I wrote. (God help me). I was going to blog about something, but now that I am here I can’t seem to remember I just know that I want to blog. Ehen did I tell you guyz there is another pale in my class (remember that old shameless chief from my old post that would not leave me alone). Well this one is not that old sha let me call him a pre-pale( at least he is not married ). This guy has been seriously annoying me though. This semester I am in class with some very strange people. At least I can tolerate most of them. Not this dude though. How can someone (pre-pale) just come to someone’s face and ask silly questions, like who does he think he is or is it because he has a big chest that is almost ripping up his shirt.( not that I send or anything just observations. The guy buff sha ) Na so the interrogation start oh … How come I am just noticing you this semester? ( cos I have never taken a class with you hyena). How come you never say hi to me. ( is it not obvious that I can’t you). Are you sure you are not from the island? (do you see me speaking ratafarian). He went on to tell me how I look like one of his old girlfriends in the island ( I dunno if that na insult or compliment). Pre-pale is from Trinidad ( I love his accent though) and he said he would have sworn I was from the island. Have you seen when someone wants you to be from another country by force? I said I am Nigerian shuoo. ( see how wahala likes looking for my trouble). I don’t know the man from Adam, you can even ask eve. Since this semester started, he has been on my case. He even keeps seat for me because the class full up pretty fast most times (I appreciate the gesture, but… ) Yesterday he called and was asking me if I needed a ride to this mandatory conference we were meant to go for. This guy is like close to 40( i think). What am I suppose to do with this one again.

My dad’s birthday just passed. Happy birthday pops. I remember a while ago, I must have been 10 or 11. You know when you just finish primary school, done with common entrance and just chilling at home. One of those Fridays I was bored at home. Waiting till 4pm before they start showing something on TV, watching the different color of lines and sometimes when they finally come up, they show a cartoon that you must have seen a million times. I called my dad with the house phone and told him I was bored at home. Of course the boys were either playing football or basketball outside and VSNC joins them most times ( see only girl in the house). He told me to put one of my brothers on the phone. They talked for a while and my brother went out and came back home with 5 movies. When they were done with their match, we all gathered in the parlour to see the movie.

I saw like 2 of the movies, ate, had my bath and went to sleep. In our crib, we have the main house and the boys’ quarter. When my the first two older boys and my cousin got into SS1 or there about, my dad told them to move into the boys’ quarter, so they could get their own privacy. Then the 3rd boy stays where ever he falls asleep. The rest of my brothers stay in the main house with us. Anyways our room was close to the boys’ quarter, so we could hear or see whatever was happening there sometimes. Before I finally fell asleep that night, I heard my cousin and his friend chatting about a movie they saw. I think the name was the tale of the school teacher or something like that.

Next day was a Saturday, still chilling at home after doing my own portion of the environmental sanitation. My dad was reading his morning newspapers as usually ( it must have been guardian or vanguard). I asked my dad if he wanted to see a movie because I did not see the three other movies my brother borrowed the day before. He was like okay whatever you want. I went to one of their rooms (which I wasn’t allowed into, but I had permission from my dad so lol). I saw the three movies on top the TV. I checked the titles, but it wasn’t the movie my cousin and his friend were discussion about. I went to the other room, I checked around and I saw the movie inside his closet. I ran to my dad with the four movies and told him I wanted to watch the one my cousin saw first. It must be an action movie or so I thought

I put the cassette on. My dad was still reading his newspaper. I told him the movie was about to start. He set his paper down and we started watching the movie. The movie was kind of weird, no soldiers or action. At first they showed a girl and a teacher in class alone. The teacher was telling her how naughty she was and he was going to teach her a lesson. The next scene was in the bedroom and they were both taking their clothes off. My dad rushed so fast to eject the movie and he was like who gave you this movie. I told him I took it from my cousin’s room. He didn’t say anything to me. He just told me to go watch regular TV in the other parlor and get my cousin for him.

Next thing I know my dad was yelling at my cousin. He told him to kneel down and he wasn’t going to eat for that day. My dad was so angry that day. He even yelled at my brothers too. I still did not know what the commotion was about until I told VSNC about it. She said I watched a blue movie that was very very bad ( adult movie, porn). She emphasized the very very bad and I knew I was in trouble. Everybody was mad at me in the house except VSNC, my dad and my younger brother. I felt so bad, but they weren’t mad at me for long because they needed a favour from my dad and you have to go through me when it comes to asking for favor.
Now I am just sitting here wondering what was going through my dad’s head at that point in time. I know this post is about everything and nothing in particular, but I said I was going to blog and I did. Yay to me...

7 things about BSNC

2011-01-21T18:15:00.000-08:00

My friend from my last post is okay now. We thank God oh
The lovely blessing who has been smiling since 2011 and the fabulous EDJ who enjoys watching teen shows gave me this wonderful award. Thanks for acknowledging me.

7 things about bsnc

I have a twin sister duh like everybody does not know that already lol. Okay lemme try this again. 7 things about me, there is so much about me though okay let’s see.

1. I am half Nigerian. My dad is the Nigerian so I grew up and did almost everything in Nigeria. My mum sometimes cooks her people’s food and tells me a little about her culture every now and then. Since I came to Yankee, I have met a lot of people from her country and learnt more about her culture in the process. Nevertheless I consider myself a Nigerian chic any time of the day. Thus the name brownskinaijachic (bsnc) . See I rep.

2. I love music. I really love music. Any type of music; r&b, pop, rap, country, Nigerian, Christmas, Christian, jazz, rock and rock, oldies, opera, soft rock…. The only music I think I can’t tolerate is gogo music ( except “ mambo sauce – welcome to dc” ) . I love music so much I make reference to it with almost everything I do. Most of you must have noticed it form my post or comments.

3. I love to smile and I enjoy laughing. People always tell me I have a playful spirit. When I get too serious it gives a headache lol.

4. I used to be a spoilt child. My dad never allowed his girls do anything (being just two girls in the family). It was so bad, my dad used to get upset with my mum when she stresses us too much. Who would believe I would turn out like this ( the miss independent neyo was talking about or so I think lol )

5. I haven’t told anybody this before, but when my dad passed away, I was praying and hoping I would die in my sleep in the first couple of days. I guessed God has a better plan for me and I am really glad I’m still alive. I have family and friends who loves me and of course God Almighty. What I learnt from that experience is I may not have a father on earth, but I definitely have a father in heaven. He has proved it in more ways than one. Still miss my old man though.

6. I am a shy person, but when you get to know me I gradually open up. Apart from my family, I try not to get too attached to people or things. ( TRY )

7. I enjoy cooking. Even though I know I am a good cook, I still love when people compliment my cooking.

I think everybody has been tagged.

Have a lovely month folks. I will be gone for a while, but i will try to check in once in a while.

Love always
B.

TRUTH HURTS

2011-01-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

Hey people. Hope your 2011 is great. I am slowly feeling the year. I know from my last post I said this year is just okay. It’s not that bad. I really appreciate the feedback I got from my last post. You guyz are amazing. You really gave me something to think about.

This was a really tough decision. Like I said earlier on, I know it’s none of my business and normally I would mind my business, but this is a 2011 decision ( lol like the year has anything to do with it). I read each of your comments more than once and 48% of you suggested I should tell them while the other 48% suggested I should mind my business. The remaining 4 % wanted to see a picture (you are so on your own lol)

I thought about it for a while and I thought to myself if I were in their shoes I would want to know. I told them about it. Yes I did. Like I said it’s a 2011 decision and there is a saying that goes “the only thing constant in this world is change” and another one goes

“If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions”. - Stephen R. Covey

See me drinking panadol for another man’s headache. Anyways I told them. Chic A is an outgoing person. She goes to almost every party ( she is a party rider, her fav quote is lets go there lol). I guess that is where she met her bf and I like I said from my last post. She has never been committed to one guy; she told me once that she never believes in putting all her eggs in one basket cos anything can happen. Her reaction when I told was, It’s no big deal. In her words “this things happen it’s not like a guy has not cheated on me before. She was glad I told her because she was actually getting serious with the guy. They have been going out for almost a year and she was really invested in the guy more than her the guys on the side. She also said they were both doing the same thing. She is just having fun. ( no harm no foul abi). Boy was I relieved. I could actually breathe a little. She actually thanked me and told me I was a friend she could count on. ( pheww thank you lord) That was easy..

Now chic B. Okay let me give you guyz a brief history of her. She can be outgoing, but like me she is kind of reserved and shy (believe it or not I am a shy person, but don’t mess with me oh lol). I have known her for a year plus now (compared to chic A who I met in 2008) since then we have become close. She is the direct opposite of chic A. She goes out with one guy at a time. She seems quiet, but when you get to know her she opens up to you. Her reaction when I broke the news to her. At first, she did not believe me. I wasn’t surprised and I didn’t push it ( before person use vex slap me) I let the information sink in and she asked me how I knew. I told her everything told you guyz from my last post. She goes maybe chic A is just a friend. I told her again and called a friend to confirm it. I did not tell her that the guy preferred the other chic oh. (I can’t give someone LOVEATTACK). To try and cut the long story short. She did not take the news well. I told her the news a few days ago and she hasn’t called me since then. I tried calling her, left several text messages. I mean it’s not like someone died now haba. I know people take news differently, but she has been going out with the guy for couple of months now. I feel bad that I am the bearer of bad news, but sometimes they say truth hurts and people need to hear it.

Chic B left a message for me this morning. She said she said she spoke to her boyfriend about it. He did not deny it neither did he apologize for his actions (again I wasn’t surprised). It’s better now than when she gets too serious with the guy. Imagine see how she is taking the news now what of if…… I don’t want to even think about it. She said she will call me later. I am hoping she feels better now. I know she is heartbroken. ( like the script – breakeven).

There are times you mind your business and let people find out things for themselves and there are times you just have to say something. I hope I did the right thing sha. I almost lost one ( like jay z’s song- lost one). I am tempted to send chic B this song by cee lo green- forget you..

I spoke the VSNC. She is doing great. She love her new town and of course she misses me dearly lol.( she get choice). The important thing is that she is fine. I don’t know if you guyz remember my dog, Mercedes. I did a whole post on him, well he died. I can’t believe I would go to naija and not see that dog again.

Have a lovely week people. I will see you guyz soon, I think I have some more gist to spare before…

IS IT MY BUSINESS?

2011-01-12T20:55:00.000-08:00

Hey beautiful ones. How have you guyz been. I know I am kind of late, but it’s still January so Happy 2011. Welcome to a new decade and a new month. Hope you guyz had fun during the holiday. I know some of you are still in the holiday zone.

This New Year did not start well for me; I worked before and through the New Year and i added 32 more hours to my work schedule. Yup no break for me , I am so tired and school hasn’t even started. This is going to be a tough year for me. I am praying and hoping for the best though

VSNC moved to another state cos of school. If I say I miss her it’s an understatement. As my friend will say she will move to her husband’s house one day and what will I do then, absolutely nothing lol. This year has been playing me film trick, but it’s all good. I guess everything will turn out for the best eventually. To say the least this year has not been my favorite so far. The year just started sha I still have 300 days plus to go. Anything can happen, I might get married, I might win the lottery, I might move to another country…. who knows what 2011 has in store for me.

I need advice people. I have these two friends I am close to. A introduced me to her boyfriend last year. She said they have been going out for a year now. The guy was really down to earth and really funny. Anybody who knows me, know how much I love to laugh, so I liked the guy instantly. I met the guy and my friend together in two other occasions last year. Then this year B ( my other friend) has been talking about this guy she really liked. She said they have been going out for about 6 months now. She introduced him to me this year. Yup it was the same guy and he recognized me. He didn’t even hide it. I spoke to the guy the other day about it and he said he really liked both girls, but he is feeling A more than B for now. He doesn’t want to break up with either of them because they both have qualities he likes (hyena, you can’t eat your cake and have it, in his case he is enjoying it too much hissss ). These girls really liked the guy although A has some other guys on the side, but she insists that she is feeling the boy. Now I know three of them and I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but I feel obligated to tell my friends. If they find out that I knew about it how will they feel? . Mind you these babes do not know each other. One thing I have learnt from my brothers is that when it comes to matters like this, always mind your business. I don’t know jare. What do you guyz think?

TIS THE SEASON

2010-12-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

Hello beautiful people. Goodness gracious I can’t believe I have not been here since July. How time flies. How have you guyz been. Hope you are all good.
Compliments of the season oh. Merry Christmas and Happy New year in advance!!!. I have been so busy with school and work. I just had my break in school this Wednesday here and the next day I increased my hours at my job. I was even supposed to work today (Christmas day). My mum simply said that she was going to disown me. I had to respect myself ( joke na joke) and this lady wasn’t playing . Considering that I had to work last two Christmas. What is the one going to cost me… My last name is not work ( abeg there is time for everything oh).

I spent Christmas with my family this year and I actually enjoyed myself. I forgot how nice Christmas used to be. I have gotten so caught up, I almost forgot how to have fun. I need to work though; the bills will not pay themselves. If only the bills could say bsnc bone I gat you this time (a girl can dream now abi ).

Today was wonderful mehh. I really had fun. We cooked fried, jollof and coconut rice, vegetable, egusi and gbanga soup, pounded yam, eba and starch three types of salads, pepper soup 2 types with fish and goat meat, baked turkey and chicken. Then the icing of the cake chin chin, buns and cake. There was food everywhere. My little cousin was like aunty your house looks like a buffet (kids..lol). I didn’t eat too much though. I am working tomorrow oh and I don’t want my client to drive me away from his house (Only God knows what I would have done to the poor man’s toilet, I sabi respect myself abeg). Meanwhile others were eating like they were on gun point. Like someone is pointing a gun at them and saying if you do not overeat I will shoot you. Ahn ahn take it easy now. I mean it’s not that serious, the food is not running away na..

That was my Christmas oh. I enjoyed the food, I enjoyed the gist. My brother was cracking me up with his stories. I am cracking up right now just thinking about it( maybe I ll gist you guyz soon). I loved my presents. Christmas was a blast this year. Although I miss Christmas in Naija, but it seems this year we brought the Naija spirit to yankee. It was fun while it lasted sha.

Hope your Christmas was as wonderful as mine. Have a blessed week people. I missed you guyz sha. One love : )

PS: I have a new car oh. We give God the Glory. Even though Nightrider is gone he will always been in my heart. That was one car that understands me lol.

TGIF

2010-07-16T16:40:00.000-07:00

Hey people. How are you all doing this fine Friday? It has been a long quite relaxing day for me ( I needed it). This is my first thankful post in a while. GNG and Jaycee actually inspired this post.

I am thankful for God almighty. He has been so good to me and I truly appreciate him. I need to get closer to God for real. I woke up very early this morning when I felt my bed vibrating and I heard a little sound. I didn’t think it was anything serious, but I was kind was kind of curious what it was about. I later found out that we had a little earthquake in our area. It didn’t even last for a minutes. Thank God it wasn’t that serious. All those earthquake incidents I have seen in movies freaks me out a little. It made me wonder, imagine if it was that serious. I don’t even want to think about it. I just want to give God the glory, honor and adoration.

I want to thank God for my life. A couple of people close to my heart have passed away, but he has kept me here for a reason. I hope I will be able to fulfill them. Yes it’s been very stressful, I don’t have financial aid and I refuse to take loan,( stubborn head, hope I don’t kill myself in the process..lol) so I have to work my butt of to keep myself situated. ( like 2face will say “ I work hard for the money it is not funny plus I gotta say it’s not easy at all at all. I no fit afford to get lazy). It could have been worse, so I refuse to complain. I have a roof on top my head, Nightrider has been a sweetheart (the car no dey give me wahala at all), every part of my body is functioning well. I don’t need a ventilator to breath, I don’t need a wheel chair or clutches to walk, I don’t need a catheter to urinate and I have never been in an accident in my life. What more do I want. The best is yet to come. Nothing good comes easily.

I am thankful for my family and friends. My family has been more than wonderful ( dem no get part 2). I don’t even know where to start. They have always been there for me no matter what. I am entirely grateful to my mum and my brothers. VSNC, wow that babe is amazing. There was a reason God brought both of us in this earth together. She is my right hand chic. Even though she is one of the most sarcastic human being I have ever met..lol. That is what makes her VSNC I guess. I love my family die, I cannot ask for more. I still miss my Dad though; gosh I miss that man badly. I know he is in a better place. I thankful I had the opportunity be associated him. I am thankful for my friends, they have been understanding. God bless their heart, I hope I don’t lose them. There is so much a human being can take. I am thankful for the friends I have met through blogsville. LNQ was the first friend I made through this community. I have made more great friends. I appreciate all of you and you know twitter is not that bad. Original Mgbeke is having a ball there..lol.

**********************************************************************************************

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TROUBLE WHEN:

Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich.

You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.

Your suggestion box starts ticking.

Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.

You see the captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

They pay your wages out of petty cash.

You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.

You tell the barber what you think about his prices before you get your haircut.

Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.

The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell your wife.

The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "****! THAT'S the word!"

Have a nice weekend people. i may not see you guyz in a while : (

PLEASE BE SAFE

2010-07-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

Shawty imma only tell you this once you the illest bah bah dah dah oh and for you lovin imma die hard like bruce willis. You got spark, you you got spunk…. Your love.

I am not a big fan of nicki minaj, but I really like the flow of the song especially her jamo accent ( person go say wetin concern me with that one..lol. Relax jor).

My people how dey go dey go. How are you beautiful people doing this fine Thursday. Okay I am not going to say it. Who am I kidding, Fourth day in a roll bay bay…lol. Go with it , go with it JAM!. It ain’t too much stuff.. it ain’t too much.. it ain’t too much for me to JAM!. ( hehe that was me singing the Michael Jackson song- Jam)

I know, i know you have heard about this over and over again. Well here i go again. People always hear about the importance of using a condom, but do they really listen. I hear them saying skin to skin is way better, there is no fun in using a rubber. I know you have heard this on many occasions, but do you know the type of sexually transmitted infections you can acquire. Even does of you who claim you haven’t let anyone downtown, but you still perform oral sex. Yes most people say it is not as risky, but do you know you can also contact sexually transmitted diseases like gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes. Most of this disease has no cure. Please be safe out there, prevention is always better than cure.

I remember when they used to advertise the gold circle condom. Go for gold..lol, anytime that ad comes up i will recite everything. My brothers would be like shut this girl. I will shout on top of my lungs( just for the fun of it) until i realised what the gold circle was all about..lol. Same with the always ad, until Mrs. Flo knocked on the door. My brothers will be like have you noticed bsnc is so quiet when the always ad comes on. What happened? I was like somethings are left unsaid..lol

These are some funny ads I saw on the net

Nike Condoms: Just do it.

Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.

Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.

Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.

Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.

Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.

Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.

Macintosh Condom: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.

Ford Condoms: The best never rest.

Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.

Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey - you never know.

California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?

Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.

KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.

Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.

Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.

Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmm, good.

General Electric Condoms: We bring good things to life!

AT&T Condoms: Reach out and touch someone.

Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper.

Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today?

Energizer Condoms: It keeps going and going and going....

M&M condom: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!

Taco Bell Condoms: Get some; make a run for the border.

MCI Condoms: For friends and family

Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!

The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter.

Delta Airlines Condoms travel pack: Delta is ready when you are.

United Airlines Condoms travel pack: Fly United.

The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

***********************************************************************************************
The next time you want to get Jiggy with it. Remember this...

The plant manufactures various latex products, and has a reputation for using cutting edge technology in its manufacturing process.

On one side of the building, the factory makes baby bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise, and the shift manager asked his tour guide what it was doing.

As the rubber is being injected into the mold, it makes a hiss noise. he said The popping sound is from needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.

On the other side of the building, the two men look at the condom making machine. This machine makes a hiss.. hiss hiss-pop sound during the manufacturing process.

Wait a second, the future shift manager says, I know what the hiss, hiss is but whats with the pop noise every once in awhile?

Oh, that he he. Its the same as the baby bottle nipple process. said the guide It pokes a hole in every third condom.

But that cant be good for the condoms! the observant shift manager replied.

Nah, but its really good for the baby bottle nipple business!

Have a good one

PS: shorty if you no get this one, no comment oh..lol

ODIKWA VERY SERIOUS

2010-07-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful people. Wow three days back to back. I am on a roll ( updating spree toh bad oh..lol). Okay I heard and unfortunately saw wande coal’s pic abi na photoshop, No comment biko..lol. ( my poor eyes)

It has been a long day, still have stuff to do. Thanks for the best wishes in my exams. That exam was not easy oh ( It was like I was inside the battle field and I forgot my double barrel). First of all the room was extremely cold. I know it is hot outside, but kini big deal (you go think say we be stock fish inside deep freezer). When I saw the questions eh, the headache wey follow me no be child’s play. I did the best I could, but that my prof is wicked sha. The chapters she told us not to worry about were the exact ones she brought out ( the thing be like film trick). She reminded my of that trybesmen song "plenty plenty nonsense" lol. I looked around the class just to confirm that I wasn’t going coco and I saw the Kia-wetin-be-this look on people’s faces. There was the particular babe I couldn’t stop looking at ( lol I know inside exam condition).

First she took out her jacket, 2 minutes later she went to the bathroom. Five minutes later this babe was sweating profusely. ( as in like a baked turkey). Next, she was fanning herself with her paper (inside AC oh). When she stood up the third time to use the bathroom, I could see wet patches on her dress behind. She was wearing the white cute dress ( na sweat be that inside her bombom, odikwa very serious oh ). I felt sorry for the babe, but there was nothing I could do to help me. I mean I was in the same predicament. After the exam, I went to check on the babe to see how she was doing. She went on to tell me that as soon as she saw the exam questions, her heart started beating faster and she couldn’t see clearly. She also said she felt the urge to use the bathroom. ( na wa o, wetin exam no go cause, premature hypertension, temporary cataracts and sudden diarrhea ewo! God punish devil). The babe was still sick when I saw her today. I was in a crappy mood that day, but GNG calmed me down ( after I harassed her though..lol). She is my newly adopted big sista ( yes its by force). I always wanted a big sista to harass..lol. Funny thing is I ended up getting a B in that exam, not bad abi 

Someone sent me this message. Please pass the message across.

Please take time to read!! Very important!!!

A good friend of ours in Mequon lost their 25 year old son (Arun Gopal Ratnam) in a fire at home June 4th.

This is what happened. He graduated with MBA from University of Wisconsin-Madison two weeks earlier and came home. Had a lunch with his dad at home and decided to go back to clean up his room at school. Father told him to wait and see his mother before he goes back for a few days.

He decided to take a nap while waiting for his mom to come home from work.

Neighbors called 911 when they saw black smoke coming out of the house. Their 25 year old son Arun died in the three year old house. It took several days of investigation to find out the cause of the fire.

It was determined that the fire was caused by lap top in the bed.

When the lap top is on the bed cooling fan does not get air to cool the computer and that is what caused the fire.

He did not even wake up to get out of the bed he died of carbon monoxide (CO).

The reason I'm writing this to all of you is that I have seen all of us using our lap top in bed. Let us all decide and make it a practice not to do that. Risk is real. Let us make it a rule not to use lap top in bed or put computer on bed with blankets and pillows around.

Broadcast this message & you may save others:)

**************************************************************************************

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without

Have a nice day people. On to the next exam( I know, no be me first go school..lol)

YOU WERE CLOSE

2010-07-13T05:45:00.000-07:00

Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage - Jean Anouilh

Shorty, Myne, leggy, Ms. O and Soul Boutique thanks alot for the congratulatory message, but you guyz did not even attemp the riddles ahn ahn..lol. Its all good though. Much love :)

Simeon and Sirius thanks alot. Simeon you got two right..lol, not bad at all. Wow sirius you tried sha. You came back like three times...hahah. You got 3 right babe..lol. You go girl.

Here are the answers to the riddles.

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:

Answers:

1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

See it wasn't that hard..lol

I want to send out a few congratulatory message. Here is congratulating sirius again..lol on her wedding. May God bless and keep your marriage. I want to congratulate two of my brothers. One just finished his masters and i am going to texas soon to celebrate with him( yay!..lol). And another one to my other brother who just finished engineering in uniben. I am proud sister, na marriage remain oh( lol that is something they will say to me). I want to congratulate my uncle and his wife for the newest addition in their family. Talking about babies, congratulations also to our very own andrea( hey mama..). Congratulations our very own Naijagirl( nigerian girl perspective), she just finished medical school( E no easy). Myne i didn't forget you oh, congratulation on your interview on Thisday( i see you..lol), you deserve it dear. Hard work really pays off(me i just want to win the lottery, hard work is too hard).
Finally congratulations to myself for.. well being me...lol. (yes it counts)

I saw this somewhere

*************************************************************************************

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow

Hope you guyz are having a wonderful week. See i told you i was going to update more frequently. I am not doing a bad job right..lol. ok bac to studying :)

PS: In case you are wondering, i gave my thank you speech yesterday. I am no obama, but i tried.

OH DEAR

2010-07-12T14:05:00.000-07:00

There isn’t a Monday that will not cede its place on Tuesday - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

Definition: Houdini is someone skilled at escaping. A runaway, escapee, fugitive (lol na wa o, I am not a fugitive though)

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! I won, I actually won something. Thanks a lot, you make me wanna say O.. O.. O.. Oh my gosh. Congratulations to the winners and the nominees (in my book everybody is a winner jare) Hmm Houdini, it sounds French, Spanish or Russian, but it’s actually English. I am humbled and flattered. Oh my and I did not even prepare a speech *takes an extensive note out of my pocket* lol. Okay I will try and summarize it.

I want to take this opportunity to thank God almighty. He is the author and finisher of our faith; with him all things are possible. I want to thank my mummy and daddy for doing the deed and giving birth to me( haha TMI I know). I want to thank everybody who nominated and voted for me, God bless your hearts and those who didn’t bother to nominate or vote for me. Like biggie will say it’s all Good baby baby. It was all a dream; I used to read blogger’s post, Mr. Naijafineboy cracking me up…. ( okay lemme stop there, I’m not a rapper oh.). To all my followers on blogger and twitter and everybody who has ever commented on my blog, everyone who read my post. If it wasn’t for you guyz who knows what BSNC is? . The other day someone said my name sounded like a radio station..lol. This is BSNC reporting live from 98.3 hot bsnc radio station( doesn’t sound too bad right..lol). Thanks to Myne and Fashinga for campaigning for me( I see you). I guess i have to thank my school and my job for keeping so busy( lol i know, weird right.). If i wasn't so busy, then i wouldn't be nominated for this award. Everything really does happen for a reason lol. Finally thanks to the organizers (especially GNG) for putting this together. I know it must not have been easy, but kudos to you guyz . More grease to your elbows. See I told you I was going to summarize the speech..lol. Thanks again people.

I told myself If I won the most anonymous award, I would tell you guyz more about myself. If I won the drama queen award, I would tell you guyz the most dramatic incident I can remember and If I won the funniest blogger award, I would tell you guyz the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me( lol thank goodness). I never thought I would win the Houdini award. So what do I do now? Okay Iet me see, I will try not being a houdinarian by updating at least 3 to 4 times this week. ( lol now how am I going to do that?)

It’s a riddle. Try and it figure it out; I will give you guyz the answer soon.

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

See you guyz soon, fingers crossed ( oh dear). 3 exams this week, Pray for me biko..lol

WAITING IN VAIN

2010-06-10T16:50:00.000-07:00

Hey beautiful people. How have you guyz been? Well I have been okay. God has been good to be. I can’t complain.

So you guyz actually turned my wine back to water ( from my last post). Chai meaning I be the maga abi( na wa oh..lol) . Don’t mind me jor. I saw the NBA award. Congratulations Nice anon, babe you deserve the award. I was hopeful sha no doubt ( make I talk truth and let the devil be ashamed..lol). Congrats dear and I was truly honored you shared the award with me. You are far too kind and congrats to the nominees and winners.

Let me also use this opportunity to thank the organizers, wow you guyz did an amazing job. Putting all this together could not have been easy. I was trekking through blogs ville the other day and I saw some negative comments about the NBA awards. You guyz should give them a break now( all this bad belle people, coolo coolo temper) . Did you think it was easy to organizer this kind of award. They took time out of their own life (yes they have their own lives, I know imagine the imagination) to organize this award. Show a little gratitude. Please don’t take the fun away. To the organizers, God bless your hearts.

This morning I got a text message form VSNC. She wanted me to buy her this chair before 10am because she will be at work at that time. I got to the store a little bit late and it seems they brought all the chairs. I felt so bad, but not before I saw this old lady ( 80ish or there about) hiding one of the chairs behind this cabinet. I walked around like I didn’t see her. She looked around making sure nobody saw her. I waited at a corner till she walked away. Then I made my move who said old people are not smart. This lady hid the chair nicely. If I didn’t see her keeping the chair there I would have just simply walked passed it. It took me a while to bring the chair out, but I succeeded. Whew!!! What a relief; now VSNC can let me be. Did I mention that the chair was on sale.( like 50% discount) VSNC wanted that chair so bad.

I took the chair straight to the cashier. I didn’t even bother checking for anything else. I just wanted to buy the chair and go continue my mini vacation in my house.( I called VSNC and told her I got the chair) I got the register and there was a small queue. Of course the old lady was ahead of me..lol. I thought of waiting till she leaves the store, but I was like what is the worst that can happen. I stayed in line next to her. She smiled and said hi to me, I smiled back and returned her greeting. Then she looked at my hand and she said what a nice chair you got there. I am going to get one too. The cashier was like you are so lucky, that is the last chair in the store. The old lady looked at me again and said; where did you get that chair from. I told her I saw it the chair at a corner. I was like someone must have hidden it or something, but I found it.( lol I know my mouth)

And she goes that is my chair. I was the one who kept it there. I did not know what to say to say. She repeated what she said and attempted to take the chair ( which kind wahala be this now and I called VSNC already). I was like. Mam I am sorry, but I need to buy this chair. This time she held the chair and tried to take it away from my hand. I told again, politely that I really needed the chair and this old lady called me a B****t. ( Jesu Christi! Say what now). I firmly grabbed the chair from her and this old lady hit me with her cane (as in hard). That was when the security and the cashier intervened. No be small thing for chair matter oh. Chair that she did not pay for. I sha brought the chair eventually. The old lady called me every name in the book when I was paying for the chair. Now I feel so bad, but she was trying to be smart, I simply showed her that I was an African tortoise..lol

Another reason I feel so bad. So there is this guy, a friend of mine. I met him a long time ago through a friend. Since 07 – 08 the guy has been trying to take our friendship to the next level, but I am not feeling the guy like that. I tried to look at him that way, I try to like the guy, wosai, nothing oh( no electric current) I don’t want to be a relationship with someone because I feel sorry for them ( warahell is that). Throughout 09 the guy did not call, text or email ( the guyz bone me finish..lol). I was like finally, I am so glad he moved on. I don’t want to break someone’s heart oh. I know how it feels( mind ya bizness, no gist…lol). Anyways this weekend the guy send me an email and he attached a song to it. He was like everything I have been meaning to say to you is in this song. The song was Bob Marley’s song “ Waiting in vain” . Anybody who really knows me knows that I relate to songs so well. The song touched my heart mehh. It was like he was saying the lyrics to me plus I LOVE BOB MARLEY. I played the song for a while and then I replied him with another bob marley’s songs “ three little birds”. My friend said I am mean..lol. Shuoo what was I suppose to do now. I can’t lie to him now.

Thank God my grandma is here to cheer me up : ). She is not staying with us this time, but she is like 30 minutes away. My grandma story for another day jor, and yes I got my job back!! ( yup yup..lol). Imagine stress on top stress. Thanks for nominating me again people. I know I don’t blog as much, I really wish I could.

Someone will be like how does the title relate to the post. Abeg lemme jor..lol.Have a wonderful week ahead people.

THANK YOU

2010-05-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful people of Blogs Villa. How have you guyz been? Hope your week is going well?. I am done for the semester, can I get a whoop! Whoop!...lol. It has been a stressful semester. Lord have mercy, I have just 6 days to do whatever before school starts again ( body no be wood oh). Well hard work has not killed anyone yet, but I don’t want to be an example sha. A lot has been going on, I don’t even know where to start. I can hear someone saying start from the beginning ( relax now..lol)

A blogger friend told me I got nominated this morning. I was so happy and shocked at the same time. In fact I was flabbergasted..lol.( I need to speak grammar for this one oh..lol) I know I have not been updating lately, but you guyz still… still.. me. You guyz still nominated me. Wow you guyz are too much oh( abeg chop knuckles jor). On the real though, I am truly honored.

1. Most Humourous Blog
o BSNC
o Nice Anon
o Original Mgbeke
o Sugarking
o Verastically Livin’

That is one tight category oh. See talented bloggers, but BSNC too bad though..lol. My name came first too, first come first serve abi…lol. Plus in the bible ( yes I must quote scripture too. Leave me..lol), ehen in the bible they said ask and it shall be even unto you. Nominate me biko. As you guyz nominated me, please finished what you started . You know it’s not good to do things half way na..lol. In wande coal’s words, as God don change my water to wine, you wan come change am back to water( why would u want to do that ).. na who born the maga..lol. Like black eyed peas “ meet me halfway”. Or in p square words, “ who made it possible, only God make it possible”. Okay e don do.. hehe .

This is my idea of campaigning sha..lol. Thank you for nominating me people and congratulations to all the nominees. I already congratulated the once I could reach. Thanks people.
Have a blessed week ahead : D

************************************************************************************

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic,but not too personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.

During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents,the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove."

"These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart."

"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. "

"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. "

"Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love. "

I REMEBER..

2010-03-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

Hey fam, what it do? I am just tired jor. I should be on spring break, but its more like spring catch up and the week is going by so fast. I wish it could slow down a little. I still have a lot of work to do. Yea story of my life...

Yes I am still on twitter. I couldn't leave, I am tired of fighting it jare,i ll go with the flow. I spoke to one of my closest friend this night, i remembered one incident i had with him. I couldn't stop laughing, so i decided to share..

I have known this guy for almost 14 years now. He is a few years older than me. He is one of them cream, aje butter type. Travels to yankee steadily, when i used to think yankee was 5 minutes to heaven. Dresses extra fly, rarely speaks pigin,top school, uses fork and knife(person neva see before hisss..lol)... you know now cream boy. He stays a few blocks away from my house. Chills at my crib once in a while. Actually he is a friend of the family( abi na family friend).

Anyhow dude chills at our crib on the regular. He has alot of sisters, i have alot of brothers. He comes to my crib to feel sane. I don't really go to his place though. Lets just say at a point in my life, i had phobia for girls( as in too many chics in one place *shivers*). Please don't ask..lol. And i later went to an all girls boarding..lol. Yes i know, what can i say. I grew out of it. Anyways me and dude became very close.

I picked up some slang's from my neighbourhood and the guyz around me. I used them on him to perfect my pigin( lol see my accomplishment in life, to perfect pigin..smh). This dude started calling me razz babe(shuu ). He will go, where did you learn that word for, you are becoming razz, will you talk like that in front of your old man( yea popsie no like pigin at all, dude was a lawyer now. lol that one is another story sha).. blah blah blah ( abeg free me jor, na you born me kmt). Dude worried my life for a while sha.

One day we were alone downstairs talking about random stuff.I wanted to tell him a joke, but i told him i cannot tell the joke in English. You know they are some jokes you cannot tell in English, its way better in pigin...lol. He started again with his razz this and razz that( i send the idiot..lol). I told him the joke anyway, next thing dude was laughing so hard he almost fell of the sofa. Then i heard three explosive sounds all at once. I was so scared, i jumped out of the sofa. That sounded like an atomic bomb or something...lol. Then i realised what just happened. I stared at him for a couple of seconds. He looked away like nothing happened. Then i was like did that just come out from you?....hahaha. Gosh i laughed so hard my tummy ached. Dude was so embarrassed, i couldn't stop laughing. He didn't show up at my crib for a week( for someone who practically lived with us)..lol

Next time he saw me, he never insulted or laughed at me. He acted like nothing happened and i let it slide. That was almost 11 years ago...lol. He thinks i have forgotten about it. I will surely bring that up one day..lol

oooo i still can't sleep : ( . Take care people. Have a nice week ahead. My birthday is next month. I don't think i want to celebrate it( don't ask), i ll convince VSNC to celebrate it alone.

Mis pensamientos

2010-03-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

Blogger, Blogosphere, Blogspot. I tire for myself. I can’t believe I have not blogged since January kai, . Yes I have been busy with a lot of stuff, but that's no excuse to abandon my blog. I know, I know and to think I was tweeting my life away.

Yes its unfortunate, but I joined twitter. I went against everything I believed and joined that so called site twitter. I was jejejely minding my own business oh when scribbles( robby ) told me about twitter. To sum it up, he said its not really a big deal to join and the site is cool. I was like okay i am in ,so i carried my two left legs and two right hands to join the site. If i only i knew..

He was right. The site is sooo cool. Most bloggers are there( I wouldn't call names, but una know una self..lol).I got to meet new people and some of the anonymous who came to my blog. Most bloggers are not anonymous there. Bloggers are cute sha..lol. The first three days wasn't bad, infact it was really cool. I was trying to get used to the tweet Ville.

A week later, I was hooked. Twitter first thing in the morning, last thing at night. Come to think of it, it sounds so familiar…. Yes of course. It was just like blogger when I first started…lol. Insomnia sets in, tweet 4 hours at a stretch and you may wonder what I tweet about..lol. How do I say this. Absolutely nothing, a whole lot about everything and something with nothing in particular…lol. Are you with me? Good. So why am I addicted to the site you may ask? good question. Wish I could answer that...

My second week on twitter and I have over a thousand tweets, no its not good. For that reason I am taking an AWOL on twitter until further notice ( that is if I am strong enough..lol). Twitter is now like Iya Basira… remember that styl plus song. Yes exactly that one( God forbid bad thing), I shall overcome jor. Wait why am I talking about twitter when I should be celebrating my 1 year anniversary of blogging. You see, my point exactly.

Wow I have been blogging for a year. Isn’t that amazing. I was hoping I get to my 100th post when I get to my blog anniversary. I guess that is not happening anytime soon..lol. Its been a year. I have over 100 followers I really appreciate{ i do : )} and the loyal and wonderful people who thinks my post are commentable. Thank you. You are far too kind.

I apologise about my last post..lol. I know it was kind of disgusting, but funny..lol no?. That incident actually happened to my cousin who passed away exactly one year this week. I blogged about him last year. I was just trying to remember the happy memories I have of him. He was such a wonderful human being, RIP big guy. I love you, miss you and please don’t drink all the wine in heaven oh.

I guess this is a post. I know you guyz were expecting a story ( una too like story jor). I was going to tell you guyz one though. Another time then. You guyz should take care now. Hope you guyz are good though : )

***************************************************************************************

What a woman says:

"This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
to wear if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, "C'MON!
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW

PS: check this site when you have the chance. Its about fashion..
http://www.stylisheve.com/

THE BUCKET

2010-01-31T10:20:00.000-08:00

He drank the water like his life depended on it. It cooled his throat and quenched his thirst. He savored each moment and took every drop in. This was the same water…….

He just started boarding school a few months back. He has always wanted to go to boarding school. Tired of his parents treating him like a chil and tired of his siblings constantly picking on him because he is the last born of 5 children. Here he had his freedom, he could do whatever he liked, sometimes with limitations because of the school rules and regulation. Still he was given a little respect here. He was enjoying his life as a boarder that was until….

THREE DAYS BEFORE..

Until the water system started malfunctioning. All the taps in the school stopped working and he didn’t fetch water that morning because he was running late to class. He went back to his dormitory to take a nap, but it was in a state of chaos . He asked his bunk-mate ( he was also his closest friend then) what all the commotion was about. His bunk-mate went on to tell him about the water situation. All the taps in school stopped working a couple hours ago and people were already getting worried. He was like is that all. He didn’t see it as a big deal, after all it was just the first day. Maybe they will fix it before the next day.

DAY 2

Now he too was getting worried . He was glad that it was Saturday already. It was 7am in the morning and him and a couple of his friends decided to go look around for water. The school is very big, like a town of its own. There is a path in the school that leads to another town, but its quite a distance. They walked around with their buckets and keg for what seemed like forever, still no luck. They went back to their Dom tired, weak and still very much thirsty.

DAY 3

They embarked on their journey again, hoping their attempt will be fruitful this time around. They have already walked past their school to this other town without even knowing. They got to this small house and begged the inhabitant for water. The old lady who lived there said she they was also scarcity of water in their area, but she could spare them a little drink. She gave them a little cup of water to share. There were four of them, but the water was finished when the cup got to him. He looked inside the empty cup and then at his friend( bunk-mate) who took the last gulp. He was too tired to say anything. He felt like crying, but there was no need for that. They thanked the woman and returned to school.

TWILIGHT OF DAY 3

Back in his dormitory. Everybody has said their good nights and was preparing to sleep. He was still too thirsty, he couldn't sleep. At least his friends drank something that day, he needed something to drink too. He laid down on his bed for a couple of minute staring at the ceiling. thinking about his next move. He had an idea, if him and friends were not successful with their water pursuit, what about other student. With his little cup on his hands and his game plan on his head, he proceeded with his strategy. He walked around five different rooms in his dormitory ever so lightly( like a thief in the night), kicking each bucket or keg gently. If it was heavy, it meant they had water in their cans and vice versa. He kicked a bucket which felt heavy, but he couldn’t move the bucket out because the owner chained it to his bed with a padlock.( lol na wa for people sha). He came back to his room with an empty cup feeling frustrated. Just then, he saw a cockroach go under the bed, and he bent down to kill it with his shoes. He bent down and killed the cockroach, but in the process he moved his bunk-mates bucket and it felt really heavy.

He couldn’t believe it. All this time they have been going out, looking for water everywhere possible and his bunk-mate had a bucket full of water all along. He put his cup inside the bucket and brought out a cup full of water. He drank the water like his life depended on it. It cooled his throat and quenched his thirst . He savored each moment and took every drop in. This was the same water his friend refused to give him the other day at the old lady’s house. He was going to tell his friend what he thought about him the next morning. He helped himself to another cup, but he couldn’t help but notice that the water tasted different. There was something about that water. He gently brought the bucket out, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Right there, inside the bucket was a socked towel and boxers. Which must have been there for ages and has seen better days. He just stood there, staring at the bucket. I think you all know what he did next...lol

i know its not febuary yet, but happy new month people. hopefully i ll see you guyz soon. Have a good one.

ITS 2010 BABY!!!

2010-01-29T19:00:00.000-08:00

Hello beautiful and handsome people of Blogs Villa. I know I have been a bad bad chic, I need to be spanked..lol. Happy New Year people, how has 2010 been treating you guyz. Hope everybody has been good. I know say una do tire for me already, but its not my fault jare.

I knew this year would be krazy, but not this soon. Its not even about work anymore, school has taken up all of my time( well its an accelerated program. What do I expect). I have to quit my job in the process. I never believed I would do it anytime soon, but yea I QUIT. It was really hard for me to quit that job. I was so attached to the peeps I worked with, but I gats to do what I think is right. It was right at that moment, but now that my account is blazing red, I don’t know again o( I for think twice about this thing sha). Well I am hopeful and optimistic, something good is around the corner. I just have to figure out what corner or better still use a GPS to find it…

School started like the first week of the year and they claim we have no break till Christmas week. Is that their idea of a joke because I am not laughing, I am not finding it funny one bit. In fact the way I walked around a few weeks ago feeling all sad and blue, you would think someone stole my baby, nightrider. It was so bad that someone said good morning to me and I was like what is so good about this morning. Since when did I start saying that. Its not me to say something like that ( I tire for myself, wetin dey do me sef. Na me first go school, what is it. I need to relax). I felt so bad afterwards, I told her I was trying to see how she would react.( i need to stop telling artificial lies o)

Well clinicals started already and of course something happen. People are funny sha. Okay the first incidence, I was working with a lady who was close to or about 300 pounds and I was suppose to transfer her to a chair.( shuoo me transfer who, am i transferring her or is she transferring me. no it will not walk) I couldn't’t do it alone so I asked this guy who happened to be passing by for help. I guess he is a physical therapist or something of that nature. Anyways I asked him to give me a hand and this dude said he can do it by himself.(dem know super man, ah please be my guest) Okay fine, no wahala. Dude embarked on his journey of carrying this lady. He lifted her from the bed with ease. I must say i was impressed, but within a couple of seconds this dude and the lady were on the floor. Like flat on the floor( it was a funny sight though). I don’t know how I refrained myself from laughing. Thankfully the lady and the dude were okay, but he said he hurt his back or something. I know its kind of my fault sha or is it my fault…

Second incidence the babe was trying to wash a patient up in the bed because the lady is immobilized. She prepared her water, brought soap, wash cloths, towel…. All the necessary things you need to give someone a bath . She washed her front nice and clean. Time to wash her back. Lets just say the babe forgot to follow safety procedures and the poor lady was on the floor. The lady on the floor was too shocked to react, but the babe was crying( as in better cry, sit down on the floor, hands on top head kind of cry). I really don’t know what happened to the babe because they said that was her first day on the job. Thankfully the bed was close to the ground, so the lady was not injured. One has to be very careful.

I finally saw twilight this week, yes I know people are talking about the part two or have even stopped talking about it.( abeg free me jor..). Anyways I see what all the hype was about, the movie is interesting. I can‘t wait to see the part two now, hopefully it comes out on DVD soon. Yes I also saw AVATAR with my cousin and his American friend. The dude was asking us If the movie reminded us of home because of what they wore and the fact that they were living on trees. Yea he got jokes alright( stupid boy, hisss). The movie is really nice though, you guyz should go see it and in 3D too. Abeg who has since Dbanj new video, the fall in love song. Mehh that guy needs to be flogged, ahn ahn what is that. I thought it was going to be a wedding scenario or village setting. They need to make another video, they should take note from that ekaette guy’s video( na who give my house girl belle.. Oh lord help me o…lol)

I know this post was totally random, its not my fault. I am using my spare mojo, since I can’t find the original. I heard Nice Anon left Blogs ville headquarters by air. She was last seen boarding northwest airline with a bottle of lacasera and gala. I actually loved her blog and I never got the chance to tell her. She is so funny and real, always giving us the full gist. Even during the recession, she did’t cut back on her gist, she dropped the gist like it was hot. Even though I am not here as much as I want to, I am definitely going to miss you nice anon. I know Blogs ville will too. I wish you all the best this life has to offer

Happy New Year once again blogs ville. Wishing you guyz all the best this New Year. I hope it will be great for everybody.

CHECKING OUT FOR 2009

2009-12-30T23:17:00.000-08:00

I have been around blogs villa and I see everybody doing their end of year post, here goes mine. This year has been okay for me, I got into Nursing school( yes nursing school o, I don tell una tire, but some hippopotamus dey always assume say I dey medical school. ogini ), I had my first real job ( noticed the word real, the other jobs I was volunteering) and of course I opened this blog. I must say its one of the best thing I did this year.

When I started the blog, I had no idea what it will be about, thus the name Brownskinaijachic ( una don see blog wey no get title before, well here you go, I like it though J). I started working the month I opened this blog, thus Mr.S, HGF and reggie became part of the blog. From that point, the stories started pouring out, VSNC, Pale( the agbaya), Both my granmas, my dad( I miss him so so much) and my experiences. You guyz are taking a journey into my life. Pretty boring right…lol

I am certain I am going to quit my job, School starts on Monday for me( with that expired exam… yeye people) and I am not the only one working on New Year’s day, so I don’t feel so bad..lol. I was talking to my friend the other day( one of the busybodies that know about my blog, I tire oh) and she said my post has changed recently and she thinks I have lost my blog mojo. I kind of feel the babe sha, I know I don’t want to quit blogger just yet. I enjoy it here too much to do that. 2010 the year of finding my mojo abi..

I know 2010 will be a busy year for me, but I will try to keep in touch with you guyz. I am truly grateful for all the love( yes I know its love, talk true ..lol) you guyz have shown me in this Blogsville. Its really amazing, this blogger is a planet on its own, a whole new world and I am glad I am a part of it. Thanks for all the comments, my followers, dedicated readers, and those who just come to look at bsnc’s picture..lol( you will be surprised, I tell you). I would have loved to give shout outs, but in my 50th post I gave shout outs to almost or over 200 people and people still curse me put. I have learned my lesson biko..

And of course I will try and end the year with my gift of smiles

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?"

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor finished, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor

Thanks Blogsville. I wish you all a fulfilling, prosperous New Year!!

It’s a Wrap Ladies and Gentlemen. See you Next year

PLEASURES

2009-12-28T21:21:00.000-08:00

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips,she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her,his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance. He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire.With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided his hands through this tender,often hidden territory, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need. Her senses swam.She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought,"It's too big!.....it will never fit!" Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more.She would want to do it again and again and again.

Because she loves shopping for shoes....

lol yea i got you...

BED OR CAKE

2009-12-28T08:06:00.000-08:00

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY; FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!

THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS, HE SAYS. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.'HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?

SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?

SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO! =====

MEET ME HALFWAY

2009-12-22T22:05:00.000-08:00

Hello Beautiful people, how are you guyz doing. I picked that title because i like the song by black eyed pea. Okay where do i start from now, hmmm let me see umm..... yes my exams. I told you guyz i have exams, guess what those hippopotamus did. I will tell you what they did.... They POSTPONED MY EXAMS TO NEXT YEAR, yes next year. Can you imagine me thinking of an exam next year, how can i enjoy this Christmas . Picture me having a plate of home made jollof rice and tantalizing chicken, and the next thing i think about is oops i have an exam next year, i have a plate of salad and , oops i have an exam next year, i have a ...... yea you guyz get the picture. Everything is going to taste like exams this year (like i know how that taste..).

Guess who worked on Easter day, her birthday.... hold it, hold that thought and who is still working on christmas and new year day. Yes i think you know who, me of course.., funny right. Yes this people refuse to give me one of these day off, just one day ( and they ask me why i want to quit my job, err.... yea that ). Moving on, what have i been up to these past few weeks, umm yea GNG said, and i quote " i guess now that reggie is gone your job is no longer fun that you want to quit". she said she was joking though.( umm... sure GNG..lol). Well my job is far from boring hehe, far from it i tell you. Infact someone else moved in *ahem ahem*

Relax jo, no gist there. Well maybe a little gist, but its not what you have not heard before. Its kind of deja vu, same thing in reggie's case. The difference in this new guyz case is that i don't really have his time( maybe cos i have been really busy) or i am not just into him. i am not saying i was into reggie per say.... anywaysss.. like i said, they is no gist there.

I recently met the resident dude again ( remember him, yea him). Come to find out he is a friend of a friend's boyfriend. If you see this dude's babe, chai blood of Jesus. Lord i know you made everybody in your own image and everyone is beautiful in their own way, but ehn... hmm i don't know sha, maybe most of the time i see her, its kind of dark or maybe i need to see her during the day( and the babe can form too, people ). Compared to the guy's look, the babe... well what is my own inside abi. The guy sees something in her ( dem say one man's meat is another man's poison). Why am i going on about the chic. I met the guy at a friend's get together. He was the first person i recognised when i got to my friend's place. For some strange reason( don't ask me o..lol) i acted like i didn't see.

5 minutes later, someone tapped me on my shoulders. I turned around to the resident dude, and he was like hey don't you remember me. I met you at so so hospital, i looked at him like i was trying to figure out where i have met him before( when i clearly remember me, sometimes i don't understand me...lol). I was like yesssss, i remember you now. You are the guy i met at....... and we went on and on for about 30 minutes. I must have done or said something funny because dude was almost choking on his drink. I saw my friend and this babe coming towards our directions and before i could finish saying hello to my friend, the other babe eyed me, hissed (a very long hiss at that) and took the resident dude away, not even an excuse me or hello. I looked at my friend and she was like that's the resident's babe, i should ignore her because she is just being herself. A few hours later, i saw the resident dude coming towards my direction again.( shuoo this dude no go stay one place, wetin now) I looked around and i saw his girlfriend giving me the dagger look( like i knew). I told my friend i had to go home because i had to go to work the next day( which was true) and i was kind of tired. I took my two left legs and left that party o, sharply ( abeg no be me person wan use practise mike tyson 101)

In a not so related topic, we did this little project in school the other day. Its like a physical examination. We were suppose to examine some part of a patients body ( in this case our fellow student). Everybody paired up with someone and because i was a little bit late, i had to pair up with pale( please don't even let me start with that agbaya). It wasn't a fun activity for me because this agbaya had to touch me during this project. I tolorated him for a while, everything was going on well until we reached the breast examination part. I saw him advancing his hands towards my babies( lol yea my babies), i could see the excitement in his eyes ( see this yeye man)

bsnc: what do you think you are doing, you better control that your hand

pale: bsnc this is part of the project na, don't you want me to learn

bsnc: hmm i am warning you, you better not touch me.

pale: *silence* ( still moving forward)

bsnc: I bought out my pen. pale i swear if you touch me, i will chuk you with this biro.

We were going back and forth until he called our professor on me and she told him to pair up with another guy. She said at this stage, we can pair up with the same gender during intimate examination. Pale gree hear, dude started his sermon and he was blasting vocabulary i never knew exited ( all this one for breast, idiot ). To say the list pale said he was disappointed at me.( in himself that is). I hope i don't have any class with him next semester, i really hope so.

Compliments of the season.

CHECKING IN

2009-12-21T17:05:00.000-08:00

I am with you my love love, with you everything is well well. Your love make my heart go tinga linga ling ( abi is it yori yori lol).Miss Fly, Myne whitman, Gee, Caramel D, shorty, Enkay, My World, Bonnie( l love that song babe, like he was singing it to me hehe), UnderCover07, Repressed One, Ms dufa, Tigeress, seye, trybes, dante, rita, robby. I see you, thanks alot guyz for the concern. i am okay o, thanks to God..

Phew that was intense, to think i still have exams. This people will not kill me o. Moving on, how have you guyz been. I have missed you guyz soooo much, I hope its not too late to apologize, its not too lateeee.. It has been crazy sha. I think i am going to quit my job next year ( make i no go kraze). Alot has been happening at my end.. ALOT!!..( see the amebos ..lol, calm down), its been an interesting couple of weeks.

Wow its been a while sha. I really hope you guyz are good. I am so happy right now, some of my family are already home for christmas and we are expecting more guest. I will be back people :)

Compliments of the season

THE DEPARTED

2009-10-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been a while. Whatz cracking y'all. How are you finding this cold weather, this fall season has stripped down most of the trees. Now they are all butt naked. (poor trees). Okay before some of you crucify me. i can explain, you see what happened was ummm... like you know.... so umm you see... Abeg joh its school o, school is strumming my pains with his fingers... killing me softly with his works, killing me softly... Work is there too o. Its not easy at all, but like lemar says there is not much justice in the world. It is well, but on the real though, it has been a crazy month.

I was sick for like a week. Me who never gets sick, for some strange reason i thought i had the swine flu. Thank God it wasn't the flu, the doctor said i wasn't eating right, i was slightly dehydrated ;as a result, it was easy for me to get sick. His prescription; rest, sleep, and eat well.. like that was going to happen. i had 4 exams back to back that week and 2 papers due. It was hell, but i am better now. Buttercup was checking on me every single day( she is such a sweetheart sha), robby scribbles, dante, trybes and GNG thanks alot for your messages. I told you guyz, American sickness gat nothing on this african blood. Thanks guyz, really...

What have i been up to, lets see hmmm.. Reggie finally left o. Yes he did, i didn't feel anything until a couple minutes to his departure. We just stood there at the door looking at each other, i realised that i am really really going to miss this dude ( yea yea i finally admitted it and i yea said really twice, sue me...lol)

reggie: It was a pleasure getting to know you bsnc, i am going to miss you pretty lady ( yes he said that, you should have seen the way i was blushing, goat...lol). You made my stay worthwhile. (story story..) I wish you all the best in your future endeavours, you deserve it. ( awww i do joh...)

bsnc: likewise, i wish you all the best too. We will miss you.

reggie: who is we, so you are not going to miss me.

bsnc: okay, you will be missed.

reggie: hahaha, gurl why can't you just say what you mean. Forget it, can i get a hug at least.

Before i could give him a reply, he closed the gap between us and took me in his arms. It was... what is the word i am looking for.. wow, yea wow. You know all those stuff you read in the novels, BETTER...lol . (It felt good sha, and we were just hugging o. imagine... imagine.. chai see all of una, spoilt people). Just know that they are hugs and there is reggie's hug. He gave me a peck on my cheek. It took all the will power in me not to do something to him ( i know, too much film...lol). He looked at me like he was going to say something, but he swallowed whatever he was going to say and moved away for me.

reggie: i know you are going to miss me ( he opened the door). Take care lady.

bsnc: yes i am going to miss you a teeny little bit.

reggie: i know...

That was how reggie walked away from my life, i mean the apartment. i mean.. yea you know what i mean jare. I felt his absence within hours, wow i guess i was kind of liking this American boy. Did you guyz know that he was never engaged. I wonder why he made up that story... oh well reggie is gone, he gave me something to blog about and think about too, sometimes sha, okay maybe 4% more than sometimes..

I saw resident briefly, for like a second. I didn't have time to talk to him, so sorry o.. no gist on resident again( no be my fault na abi)..

I am thinking of wearing this MC hammer costume for Halloween, that is if i am still going out. what do you guyz think. pa na na nana can't touch this ......

Thanks for your comments from my last post, i will try to blog more often. I have gist for you guyz, but this dayz... i don't know jare. Hope you guyz are good though.

RESIDENT ALERT!!

2009-10-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

See una wan hear gist about resident, resident ko, resident ni...lol. How are you guyz doing. I am suppose to have a group discussion(study group) today,but the bunch of hyenas seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth. The first thing that came to my mind was blogsville(my sugar bananas) and blog i must. I didn't see the resident guy, i have not seen him since that day. Sorry that was a false alarm..lol. I know some of you wanted gist( una too like gist jare....lol) What have you guyz been up to. how has the month been; great, so far so good, same old same old or not too good..... Don't worry you will be okay.

I have have been meaning to gist you guyz about reggie( i hope its not an expired gist now..lol). Reggie is moving out this month or so he says.. Should i be happy or am i happy.. Hmm i don't know. I guess i was kind of getting used to him, maybe i am going to miss him. Just a tiny little bit though. Gosh i went to this Naija independence day party this weekend, it was really nice, but people are funny sha. Okay let me gist you guyz about reggie, no let me gist you guyz about the party. Reggie, the party, reggie, the party....... okay hold up. mi ni mi ni maini mo father has a donkey.....

Mr. S threw a mini-party for HGF in his house. It was okay i suppose, there were about 10 people there including reggie and myself making it 12. There were about 7 females,3 dudes and a little boy. Everybody was drinking and eating, i was doing the eating part sha( those peeps mix some kind drinks wey i no understand, I know myself abeg). A couple of minutes later, someone brought out this little stereo and a few of the guest were having their freek on in the dance floor. One of the babe dragged me to the dance floor ( i am good at most thing, but dancing hmmm no comment), i do what i always do when i am on the dance floor, my one-two step church dance, i move my head,wiggle my butt a little, sometimes it cooperates and moves..lol( yea my butt has a mind of its own, if it doesn't want to move, it wouldn't. im no like gragra at all ). Talking about butt my mum told me recently that my butt is getting bigger oh. what am i suppose to do about it( abi she want make i tug in the yansh, see me see wahala o)

Anywho i was doing my little dance when i felt one of the babe grinding behind me( shuo wetin this hippopotamus dey do behind me). I excused myself and told the babe i had to sit down for a while. I sat down next to reggie, he was laughing. I was like did you see what just happened? what was that all about?.... He went on to tell me that out of the 7 chics there, 6 of them were lesbians( you say what now.. les who, les what....)

bsnc: wait hold up are you trying to tell me.... but what you mean is.... so they are alll... okay i think i get you

reggie: te hehehe. Yes there are, i thought you knew.

bsnc: How am i suppose to know, do i look like a psychic

babe i was dancing with: hey girl, don't you want to dance with me.

bsnc: I am feel kind of tired ( yawnnns)

dancing babe: Are you scared of dancing with me, i am not going to bite you. I am trying to have fun here.( yes i am scared of you oo aaah, na be only bite, abeg take ur fun go one corner biko)

bsnc: I don't really want to dance and besides you know i... i am... i am you know... i am straight. Like i really like boys, a whole lot. I can even begin to describe how much i like guys.

dancing babe: hahaha you are funny, but you know there is always a first time for everything.

reggie: bsnc are you serious. You like boys, i wouldn't have guessed. I thought you like girls.( look at this idiot, this dude is a goat o, big one for that matter.. cute too lol)

bsnc: to dancing babe; thanks but i will pass. .... to reggie; you know you are full of it right.

reggie: if you say you like boys, how do we know. Proof it right here and now.

bsnc: i am not going to proof anything to you. Its either you believe it or you don't.

dancing babe: yea i will like to see this too.

what is wrong with this lunatics. I ignored them for a while, but i was like what the hell. Okay here is your proof (gen gen ). I stood up and danced with the 3 year old boy for a couple of minute and i went back to my seat.

reggie: hahaha wait what was that all about. anybody can dance with a little boy, that right there is nothing.

dancing babe: yes i agree with reggie

What do these people want from me today ehn. I excused myself, went to Mr. S room and told him i have to leave early because i had an emergency at home. He was like okay you can leave.( oh lord you just know my situation sha) I went back to the lunatics and told them i was going to get something from my car. I was gone before they could figure out why i took my bag along with me. The next day at work, reggie was like why did you leave like that yesterday. He went on saying he had this feeling that i was a lesbians, but now he knows for sure i am bi-sexual. I would have argued with him, but what is the point. My grandpa used to tell me there is no point arguing with a mad man because people get confused in the process( who come be the kraze person inside). In this case, reggie is a nut case period.

I just realised undercover07 went to the same naija independence party i was talking about. So i might have seen this babe on saturday sef. I will gist guyz sha.

Take care people and please be good for goodness sake

SOMETHING I GUESS

2009-10-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

Gosh I don’t think I have ever been this busy. It is not any easy something jare ( make person no go kraze..) . How are you guyz doing. Hope you guyz are good because my own case is different, I am soo tred and I still have a lot on my plate. I am leaving everything in God’s hands sha.

Where do I start from now, hmm let me see….. a lot has been happening at my end, school has been demanding, I started clinicals, work has been okay, I have been er…. undefined…. What else hmm yea Nigeria is 49. Happy birthday 9ja.. Yea buttercup told me. She did, I am going to miss you and Chari soo much, your blog was very unique. Thank God I had the opportunity to be your chat buddies before you guyz ran away ( run away couples). Consider yourselves stalked. .lol (that is if I get the time self…)

Yesterday in class our prof was asking us the importance of Red bull ( the drink). People were giving intelligent answers. For some strange reasons, she decided to pick on me. She goes; bsnc what do you think, and what did I say. An educated person like myself. I said Red bull gives you wings. The whole class was roaring with laughter, I was ashamed of myself, kia who says that ehn hissss… I tire for myself jor
They finally changed our French speaking teacher; I should be happy right, NO... My new professor is one of a kind I tell you. This guy relates everything to sex. Like seriously... He is talking about the different forms of cancer, then he goes; you know when you have sexual intercourse….., he is talking about exercising, and he goes; you know the act of sexual intercourse……, he is talking about brain tumor and he goes.. yea you get the picture…. LIKE IS HE FOR REAL. Yea that is my prof, in fairness to him, he is a good teacher. I guess I have to get used to it.

Clinicals was good, that was until some doctors and my instructor almost embarrassed me. How, you say? Well let’s talk about those doctors( abi na nurse.hmm I no no again). Okay when we start for the day, our instructor tells us to go where the nurses or doctors are holding their meetings before the shift starts. There I was, trying to be a good student, jotting down on my note, nodding my head to whatever they were saying, like I knew what there were talking about ( I was lost oo). One of the doctors looked at me and asked me a question, I froze, everything was in slow motion. I know he said something, but all I heard was bleeeeee( you know how people sound when they talk in slow motion in those movies… yes that was what I heard). My mouth was dry all of a sudden, saliva no let me swallow sef, I remembered I have not eaten that morning, I was hungry all of a sudden, headache follow the matter too. I looked at my classmates for motivation; those baboons looked the other way (may God not punish them o). I wanted to impress this people, but I didn’t even know what they were asking. I said the first thing that came to my mind. I was like “excuse me I have to go pee” and those idiots (my classmates) were laughing. ( I don’t blame them at all) . That was how I left them sha.

During our break, I was kind of angry with my classmates, so I refuse to sit down with them. I was sitting by myself, drinking my apple juice when this guy sat next to me. We talked for a while, he said he was a resident there, he is a Nigerian and he heard when I told the doctor I was going to pee (of all the things, na that one im hear oo yeye boy lol). He said my words kept on replaying in his head and he was laughing all day. What was so funny about been embarrassed, ehn….. I noticed someone coming towards our direction, It was my instructor. She sat down next to me and she was like bsnc you don’t have time for all this now, you should be sitting with your classmates. She turned to the boy( come to think of it, I don’t even know his name sef) and she was like you are a resident here, you don’t have time or money to spend on her. You guyz should focus on what you came here to do. After her seminar or what ever she calls it, she took me to the other table with my classmates. I was too surprised to say anything o( shuo una don see this kind thing b4, wetin concern carrot and dodo).

I will gist you guyz about work another time jor. I will try and make my blog rounds, I know I have missed a lot. I wish I could blog more often, but you guyz know everything now. Besides i seem to be depressing most people this dayz...lol. Blame it on life. I just tire, Body no be fire wood o. Mehh this flu shot is making me sick o( who send me message), I thought this flu shot was suppose to prevent the flu not the other way round. Happy new month y’all.

*****

2009-09-10T17:03:00.000-07:00

Its all good. Shubby doo, juiceegal, bubbles and danny bagucci thanks alot guyz. I am sorry you guyz had to see that post. I was really down, but after letting it all out I feel so much better :)

Hey blogsville. How are you guyz doing. Just stopping by to say hi..lol. I will be back :)

Hope you guyz are good.

leggy moved, her new url is leggymoved.blogspot.com . biko update your blogroll..

I DID WHAT

2009-09-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

a whole full week, I didn't blog.. kai the devil is liar ooo. Its not my fault, i have been pretty busy and i have 83 blogs to meet up with. Yes 83 . ( wetin.. are you guyz on blogging steroids). How have you guyz been. My sugar bananas, my sweet potatoes, my boo boo hoo hoo. I just tire jor, work has been krazy, HGF is misbehaving again o, reggie is okay, we are talking again. He told me he is having problem with his babe. ( sooo i should be jumping abi.. hissss). I will gist you guyz later jare..

Strange things has been happening in my crib. Everybody seems to be on a diet, i really don't understand because nobody is overweight. Vsnc lepa finish, my brother has be hitting the gym like its about to go out of style ( wetin 6 packs never do), okay my mum is kind of big, but she is tall now. she is about 6"1..... okay why am i telling you guyz all this (wait now make i land).

I work weekends, so vsnc cooks during the weekend. I got back from work on saturday( 12 hrs o.. that is 1, 2,3.... yes 12, ok ). I was tired, so so hungry, and i think nightrider( my car) was misbehaving too. Nightrider is trying me sha.. anyways i opened the refrigerator, diet coke, diet pepsi, diet sprite... I was like okay let me find something to eat and what did vsnc cook( will i consider that coooking sef). What did she cook abi make... Salad, not just any salad o. The one with what do they even call the leave sef... er er... lettuce. yes lettuce, that thing was covered with lettuce o. no tomatoes, egg, cucumber.... Do i look like a GOAT (wetin bring grass food na). I was angry o, i don't joke with my food jor. ( abi you never hear, a hungry man is an angry man) I slept like that. Went to work the next day still tired, HGF was misyarning about...... i don't know even know what the hyena was talking about sef ( someone should warn her oo). Got back home, the same salad. I took my keys and jejejely drove down to one panda express (chinese)close by. Their plan to turn me into goat would not work ( lia lia). I think i lost 10 pounds this weekend.

I have one of the worst teachers this semester. I could swear this guy is speaking french in class, and this course is not easy o. Imagine me not understanding the guy's accents( he is african too), Oyinbos for my class confuse. I pity for them sha.. See i said this post will not be long o. Don't mind me. I guess i can say i have the worst week ever. Hope yours was better. I know its kind of late,but Happy new month people.

83 blogs kai. Lord you are my strength.. Our father who art in heaven, hallow be thy name.......

Enjoy!!!

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, I'm yours.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing a skimpy running outfit, running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, I'm yours.' Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program 'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.' 'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.' The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.' He lost 63 pounds that week.

PS It will not be easy, but i will try and stop by.

PSS: Anonymous i see you o. Abeg let me be biko, i no get your time at all..

I WON THE LOTTERY!!!!

2009-08-31T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hey beautiful people. How are you guyz doing? It will be a new month very soon, so happy September in advance, wish you guyz all the best with school, work, relationship, marriages, children, man wahala…… wow see comments, thanks a lot guyz. I know I have said this too many times, but still you guyz are wonderful.

Yes I won the lottery. When I saw the numbers yesterday I could not believe my luck. What am I going to do with that amount of money? I am still thinking about it. I am going to use it on.. no I will use it on.. Even though its just two dollars I won..lol. Yes I said it, 2 dollars, don’t look at me like that jo, you don win lottery before hiss. My second time playing this lottery thing. Who knows *keeping my fingers crossed*

Reggie is still not talking to me. I refuse to apologies (wetin I do sef). The only thing he said to be is your hair looks nice ( yea I did this superfly hair , check me out na…lol no mind me o) that was it. Oh well the earth does not revolve around you, reggie, hope he realizes that soon.

I was left with Mr. S all week. Here I was with Mr. S bored stiff, staring at the ceiling for what seems like centuries. He was kind of moody, don’t want to watch TV, don’t want to play game, and don’t even want to talk and that stupid time was taking forever to reach one full minute, just one minute. If this guy thinks he will suck me in that mood, he has another thing coming for him. I moved the door with my legs, he looked at me. He was like bsnc did you see that. See what I said (I think say u no wan talk b4 hisss). The door, the door just moved. I was like really (this could be fun, let me play with this guy’s head a little..lol). I looked at the door, Mr.S are you sure you saw it move. He was like never mind. The second time I moved the door forcefully, the guy almost jumped out from the bed. I heard a loud farting sound afterwards (he almost killed me with that toxic poison o, the thing was stinking gawwwd, no be me dey find trouble) He was like bsnc I know you saw that, I tried to control myself, but the look on his face was too funny( I cover my mouth laff o, before bad thing enter my mouth). I told him I was just messing with him, at least he loosened up a little. I checked him afterward and found out this guy did some serious number 2. I literally scared the shit OUT of the guy.

Mr. S asked me if I liked scary movie. I was like its okay. We watched 3 scary movie together ( the guy get time sha, I tell you )and he was surprised I didn’t scream in any of them. He was like are you not scared of these movies. I told him American movies don’t scare me this dayz. The only American movie that really scared me was NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, but I was still really young then. I told him the movies they make nowadays are just plain disgusting, not scary per say. He asked me about my scariest movie. Here is what I told him…

I must have been 8 or 9. My dad was not in town; my mum got back from work and went straight to bed. I remember it was a school night (yea they force us to sleep early too). I was watching this movie with vsnc, my brothers and a couple of my cousins who were staying over. I can’t remember the name of the movie now, but it was scaaaary. ( afraid dey catch me..lol). No it wasn’t LIVING IN BONDAGE, but that was another scary movie sha. Anytime I hear the door move, I check if there is any ghost( like say I for sittam dey look spirit) I was even scared of my own shadow, you don see that kind thing before. Ehen to the movie jare . I was so scared of this home video, but my brothers were there now, so I dey form hard babe. They showed a part in the movie where the chic appeared from nowhere, I put my head behind one of my brothers back ( tell me why am I tormenting myself to watch film…). The way my bro jumped ehn, my other brodas were like ahn ahn you dey fear naija film again. He was like no now, bsnc just scared me a little.

I wanted to go to my room, but vsnc refused to follow me. I beg this babe tire, she no gree( na so the fear catch me). My brother told me to bring water from the kitchen. I was like who, me.. lai lai, there is no way I am leaving the parlour o ( ehn make the thing come appear for kitchen). He was bsnc I said go and bring water for me. I looked at him like he was on mute ( ehn this one no be seniority matter o). When the guy talk tire, im rest now. Nobody left that parlour the whole time. ( na small bsnc go come leave hisss) The unexpected happen, NEPA took light o.. Yes NEPA must do their thing, for a moment everything was quiet, a minute later I heard footstep of people running, chair and table crashing. Ehen so this people wan leave me here alone. I pick race too. I don’t even know how I got to my room sef. Can you imagine agbayas like my brothers leaving me and my sis in that parlour like that. 5 minutes later the light came back, I swear nobody moved at inch from their room. I could hear the TV sound ( who get mind to go off TV now).

The next morning my mum was asking us who left the TV on. I saw one of my brothers the next morning. I was like shuoo so you didn’t off the TV. He was like he was so tired and his head was aching him (your head is aching you alright..lol). The next day I went to school and you would not believe nobody finish that movie. NEPA did their thing the same time and I guess everybody was too scared to finish the movie. I know if I see the movie now I will laugh about it, the way I laugh about willy willy. I saw it not too long ago, its just wan agbaya with bedsheet vanishing like a lunatic…

Have a wonderful week guyz and month too

PS: I would not be blogging as much, but I will stop here every once in a while. You know school and its palaver

PSS: abeg you guyz should help me beg bibi now. It was a slip of typing.

HALF & HALF

2009-08-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

Wow i can't believe it. Its my 50th post, yes it is... yes it is. I saw most peeps doing their 50th, i was like don't worry i will get there soon and now i am here YAY!!!. Its not just my 50th post, its been aproximately 6 months i touched down Blogs Villa, thus the name HALF & HALF..

I remember my first post, Afrobabe was the first ever to disvirgin my blog...lol. ( her words) . I went to her blog, i remember my aunt was at my house that day and she said, bsnc is it not early to be looking at those pictures...lol. i opened my mouth, closed them, opened my mouth again.. nothing came out, i didn't know what to tell her now. I just smiled. My first follower ever was roc naija. I remember going to his blog too and i was like shuoo, all this blogsville people sef...lol. I was still strolling through blogsville when i saw temite, bumight and CLG struggling to be first all the time. I was like what is the big deal with this first thing sef, then i was first on someone's blog and it felt good oo...lol.( i ll not lie) if you see the way i screamed eh ( on the blog that is..lol). I also remember going to buttercup's blog, for some reason i didn't know it was hers and chari's blog. I think i left several comments that was meant for buttercup, chari was kind of confused.. I had to read the heading of their blog again. i felt so stupid..lol

Now i have over 10 comments on each post, over 70 followers {thx alot :)}, a couple of chat buddies i love to chat with, i really do. I have learnt alot from blogsville and i hope to learn more. I enjoy reading your stories, poem, rants, jokes, comments.... I have shared alot with you guyz, like my own special dairy. I never knew i could write anything concerning poetry, now i am motivated by you guyz. I am glad i am a member of this group, i don't know how to thank you guyz enough. I am indeed grateful. Sometimes VSNC will say bsnc you will die on top this blogger o...lol, the babe no understand jo. I hope to continue this journey, read more blogs, discover new bloggers, learn more and hopefully put a smile in at least one person's face...

This one is for you blogsville. You guyz are too much.. CHEERS.

*celebration plays in the background*

abeni

archiwiz
adaeze
adeola
andrea
africanweightloss
afrocouture
afronuts
afrobabe
anyaposh
aloted
black rubies
beyound
BBB

BIBI
blessing
blogoratti
beulah
bimbylads
bob ij
bombshell
bonnie
bubbles
brownsugar
blowing blessing your way xoxo
bumight
buttercup

cutee
cidersweet
CLG

chichi
cerebus
caramelD
chayoma
chari
cuppucine baby
dazzle
dante
danny bagucci
diane
dufu
downtheaisle
doll
dee brighton
dabiznis

emilia
ebony
eniola
enkay
ex-schoolnerd
fabulo-la
fashinga
frankie rose
fumns the rebirth
fancy me free
freddie girl
girl with the red hair
goodnaijagirl
God among us
gourmet truffle
gee
geebee
gwyne
histreasure
HRM
iphyigbogirl
jayla
just toluwa
just doyin
juiceegal
jaguda
jhazmyn
kenn knotty
kafo
london diva
ladyguide
lusciousLu
lusciousRon
L-VII
lady X
laide
leggy
loila
mancee
maiya
mocha
ms O
mister jaycee
miss odukoya
miss natural
miss fly high
miss fab
miss lowlah
miss love
miss subrosa

ms dufa
mynwhitman
my world
miz-chif
miz- cynic
muyiwa
nolimit
nwanyi
naijabadboi
naijashawty
naijafineboy
naijaprincess
naughty eye
nefiriti
naijagirl
naijababe
nice anon
nigerian fetish
olufunke
olamide

olamild
omo tee
omo oba
ochuko
one + the one
oyin
original mgbeke
poshville
optimistic alyzz
pink satin
penelope
p'sy-A-wana
rayo
rita
red cherrie
rose
repressed one
rene
robby scribbles
roc
rethot
randomer
she
sex kitten
sweetness
simeone
sting
seye
sirius
sulihp
suru
scribbles
scarlet boy
shubby doo
sumptuous
spicy tee
spicy cafe
sugar king
soul boutique
solomondyella
sassy trends
sweetnothin
smaragd
the girl with the red hair
tia
tisha
tis all about me
tee
the source
tigeress
temite
taiofierce ameen
taynement
taymee
tairebabs
trybes
ttlola
tinu
uzezi
unguarded heart
undercover07
vera
what nigerian women want
white freak
wordmerchent
wordsmith

webound

YNC
zena
36

519

BIBI abeg no vex oo.
anonymous (happy....lol)

PS: Abeg if your name is not up there no vex, i take God beg you. At least those cake will go round..lol

PSS: i know i just broke the rules by avoiding those questions...lol. :)

Have a nice week..

SOPHOMORE

2009-08-25T05:05:00.000-07:00

Hey people. wataquain, whatz is popping ina me yard. Me write another poem ya know... okay enough of that..lol . So this is my second peom and its a continuation of my first poem( i dunno how to put link jo). Before you guyz start telling me to look for the key under my bed or iniside an unknown cave like my first poem. Its just a poem ooo( i think). Please tell me what you think... yes the title sophomore poem...lol. couldn't think of a title...

I took out the padlock and placed my hand on the door knob

I was hesitant at first, I opened the door and peeped through

Sitting there on the porch(veranda..lol) was love

He was the most beautiful thing i had seen in a while

flawless skin, captivating looks and charming aura.....

I know they say all that glitters is not gold

This gold could glitter all it wants.

Because i am past caring

I felt in love with love, he was everything i imagined and more

I was in a fantasy land, the land of wonders

lurking in the shadows was heart break

But i didn't pay heed, this love is blind indeed

In a blink of an eye heart break overpowered love

It happened so fast i didn't see it coming.

Loneliness and pain crept in from the window

I never allowed them in

Now all i am left with is loneliness, pain and heartbreak

Despite all this i still believe in love

Enjoy!

A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher tells him to go down to the principal's office, to phone his mom, and ask her what he should do about it. He does this and returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom" she says. "I did" he says. "She told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

Have a beautiful day :)

YES AGAIN

2009-08-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

I came back from work, i was so tired but my aunt was doing this little get together. I have to be there to help in any way i can. There i was looking kind of nice if i must say so myself ( yes oh mo gbono feli feli....lol). I was talking to this guy who was bursting my head with his lyric( or so he thinks). I heard this thick ibo accent, i was so such i have heard it somewhere before. I turned to the direction of this voice. It was none other than pale....lol. Yes i thought i was imagining things, how did he know my aunt and it was a small get together. Of all the people in the world i have to see..

Pale was sitting beside my aunt's husband, they were really preocuppied in what ever they were discussing because he didn't see me pass. I said hello to my aunt's husband and look directly into pale's eyes. He was telling my aunt's hubby, who is this fine young lady. ( eh did i hear this man correctly, did he just say what i thought he said). I heard my aunt's hubby saying, she is my wife's niece, you know the xx daughter. Pale was like ohh i see. ( yes you see alright hiss)I was confused o, did i dream about the whole summer. I was like are you not Mr. pale... my aunt's hubby was like do you know him. I told him, i thought i did. ( maybe it was someone that looks like him)

I went downstairs, played a little game with my cousins, while i was going back upstair i met pale by the stairway. I was walking pass him when he called my name. I knew it.. i know i was not going crazy, so this baboon knows me after all. I was like pale i said hello to you and you ignored me. He was like you see bsnc, i didn't know this was your aunt's place and my wife is around. I was like so.. He said i wouldn't understand( i didn't want to even understand sef.... yeye man ). He was like bsnc you are looking good today maybe that was why i couldn't recognize you before. (the man think say i get time) I took a step forward, he was like bsnc i am talking to you now. why didn't you pick up my calls eh, your friend gave me your number ( that stupid girl). I picked up his call once thinking it was somebody else, only to find out it was the big head calling. He was like have you changed your mind yet, i am still considering you o...( abeg someone should tell me what this man is considering me for biko, i wish i could speak ibo maybe he might understand better)

I told him plain and simple if he as much as call my phone or talk to me about anything other than school, i will report him to my aunt's who will give me his wife's number. He was like all this small girls of nowadays, you think you are bold. you don't understand i will..... my aunt walked . She was like bsnc where have you been, i need you to help me with something. pale walked away as she was talking to me. My aunt was like ehen bsnc what were you doing talking to that man. He is a woman wrapper, he goes about chasing young girls. His wife is tired of complaining. I told my aunt about my incident with pale and we had a good laugh.

I helped my aunt to clean a little. when i went back to the parlour pale was nowhere to be found. I relaxed and try to enjoy myself even though i was really tired. Did i mention that my aunt is a good cook, i think i gained an extra 5 pounds that night. Since that night pale has not called me since, hopefully he leaves me alone.. for good this time around.

Enjoy!!

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl but she was never home and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return any letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls and letters and e-mails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So what she did was this: She took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone." Well needless to say, this guy was heartbroken, but even more so, he was pissed. So what he did next was awesome: He wrote on the back of the photo the following: "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and then mailed the picture to her parents.

EIGGER

2009-08-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

Wow what a week. I can’t believe how fast this year has been, a couple of blinks and its September.( na wa o, just like that). Hello fellow citizens of blogs villa. How una dey. Hope you guyz are good.

I got to work on Friday. I opened the door gently hoping to see reggie and his hot bod, but there was no one there. I don’t know if I was relieved or bothered. I checked around to make sure he wasn’t home (coast clear). I breathe a sigh of relief (ok so I guess I was relief or was i…lol). I went to Mr S room and I asked about his cousin, he said his cousin went to see pick up some things and he was like why are you asking. I was like nothing, am just asking( na wa o person no fit ask simple question again…) and he was like okay bsnc… oookay ( I don’t know what was so funny o hiss)

2 hours later no show. Okay I wasn’t looking at the time every hour, I just happen to know 2 hours has passed, you know I was just… abeg let me be jo..lol. Mr. S was sleeping and I was sooo bored, I forget to bring my novel. I was by myself in the other room for 30 minutes. I put my head on the table, I think I was about to sleep when I had the door up. I didn’t have to look, I knew it was him. I heard him coming towards my direction, I felt him staring at me. He called my name twice, no answer. For about 2 minutes I didn’t hear any sound. I gently raised my head to check if he was still in the parlor. There he was looking all hunky with a big grin on his face. He was like I know you were not sleeping, I could tell from your pattern of breathing, you were trying to be smart….( pattern of breathing ke, hmmmm)

He bought me lunch; I told him I wasn’t hungry. He said it was either I eat the food or I give him my digit ( for im mind he dey feel like one sharp guy o, na today…lol). I was like fair enough. I was about to eat when he said let us make it official, he actually prayed before we ate (l was shocked o, I have not seen anybody do that in a while) I ate the food which turned out to be delicious (chicken wrap or something like that) we talked for a while and for the most part all I could think of was how cute he was, I don see this guy tire before, me no understand again abi is he using voodoo on me, person no dey know finish na. I was so engrossed in our conversation, I didn’t hear Mr. S calling me ( wahala dey o…lol)

Mr. S was so angry with me. I have been calling you since, where have you been. I was like I was with reggie in the other room. He was like reggie again, what is it with you and reggie. You should be careful with him B, I know him too well. I don’t want you to fall into his plot. I was like don’t worry about me, I’m a big girl.. I can take care of myself. Mr. S was like I am telling you as a friend ( shuo which levels with all the warning now, is not like I want to marry the guy).

I finished with Mr. S and went to meet reggie in the other room. He was like what did my cousin say. I was like he told me you are the devil, and I should stay away from you. Reggie was like I knew he was going to say something sooner or later, I really mean no harm I just like your company. I was like reggie I am not suppose to be talking to you. He was like is that what you want, I didn’t answer; cool I will stay out of your way. ( I was honestly joking oh). He walked away to his room; he ignored me through out that day and all through the weekend. I kind of felt guilty, but I have a big ego (such a huge ego…lol) I refused to apologize. I know I will apologize eventually sha, hopefully he will be in a better mood next week…

PS: guess who I saw over the weekend…lol. Don’t worry I will gist you guyz.

PRESENT

2009-08-23T05:13:00.000-07:00

I am filling in the attendance roll, I am present oh. Happy Sunday people. I have been trying to keep up, but seems everybody is on an updating marathon. Hope you guyz are good sha. I finally slept on day three that is after my mum gave me like 6 tablets( over dose o), my aunt gave me something to drink( now I know its not poison), vsnc convinced me to exercise for 30 minutes and the icing of the cake my brother gave me a glass of one kind wine( sweet, but it did its job). I was knocked out for 15 hours. At least I have been having a goodnight sleep. Okay I am running late for work already. I have gist for you guyz on the morrow…

Enjoy
A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix!" The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said "I told you to watch out for the houses! All right, let's go up there, apologise and see how much this is going to cost." They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied. "No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me! I'm allowed to grant three wishes, and I'll give you each one wish and keep the last one for myself." "Wow, great!" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life!" "No problem. It's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife. "I want a house in every country of the world!" she said. "Consider it done!" the genie replied. "And what's your wish genie?" the husband asked. "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife." The husband looked at the wife and said "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses honey. I guess I don't care." The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. Afterwards, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said "How old is your husband anyway?" "35." she replied. "And he still believes in genies...that's amazing!"

Have a nice day

REGGIE

2009-08-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

I know this my sleep wahala is getting old, but this is day three oh.. DAY THREE( its not my fault now). I didn't want to take meds before, i don't like drugs for anything. I don't think i have a choice now. I have been even praying for tse tse fly to bite me sef (yes its that serious). Meanwhile vsnc has been on a sleeping spree, taking naps every now and then and still.. she has a good night sleep. I am so tempted to wake her up, just for the hell of it....

I have gist for you guyz oh. Guess who moved in to Mr. sean's house. None other than..... wait for it, wait for it.... His cousin, yes the same cousin the LL cool J lips licking cousin, the one that torments me whenever he comes by. Okay i know there are a couple of new bloggers, so let me try and keep you up to date. Mr. Sean is the guy i work for ( my patient), he has this cousin who i nicked name LL cool J-ips-licking cousin because he licks he lips all the time. He thinks he is the cutess thing since slice bread, so i am suppose to fall head over heels in love with him. ummm... like that will happen

I decided to nick name him reggie bush now because he kind of reminds me of him besides the other name will take forever to type. I came to work on friday, took the keys and opened the door, standing in the middle of the parlour reading a magazine with this small towel around his waist( more like a paper towel) looking like a model in the cover of sport illustrated. The guy has a hot body sha, i will give him that( not that i am tripping or anything, i am just appreciating God's creation and it is beautiful in my sight..lol). The towel looked like it was about to drop any minute. I used one hand to close my eyes and i was like hey reggie. He was like hey B why are you closing your eyes, you know i have something on right. Yes, but please can you go put on some clothes or something. he was like I am about to go take shower any second, i am just looking through this mag.. a moment later he looked away from the mag and was like ,so what if the towel drops, what are you going to do about it ( the dude think say i get im time hisss). He had this stupid smile on his face. Nah ah, i am not about to play that game with you.. I walked pass him to Mr. sean's room..

Hey Mr. sean i just saw your cousin in the other room, so he spent the night here? Mr. sean was like he moved him 2 days ago, he has some personal things to deal with. he needs a place to crash for a while. Mr. sean are you serious your cousin is going to be staying here with you. He was like i don't understand, what do you mean. You very much know what i mean, you know how your cousin gets with me.( you see this mr. sean na wayo man oh, he knows exactly what i mean). Oh just ignore him, don't let him get to you. he is just messing around with you, yea so easy for you to say.

I didn't see him through out that day. I was happy, so he leaves the house in the morning and comes back when i am done for the day (ahhhhh life is beautiful again...lol). The next day i was doing an assignmen, mr. sean's babe(HGF) was around, so she was keeping him occupied. Reggie came back from where ever he went to the day before. He was like hey B what are you up to, i see my cousin has company. I am trying to do an assignment. Oh really, do you need help, you know my mum is a nurse too ( in a normal day i will argue o, but the thing take style hard). I was like okay why not. He stood there reading the book for about 4 minutes, then he pulled a chair and sat down. 10 minutes later, dude was still reading the book oo. I was like don't worry i c...... He was like shhhhhh ( how can this guy shhhh me, i just bone sha after all he is helping me now). 25 minutes later, i was about to take my book from him when he turned around and explained everything to me step by step. I must confess i was impressed.

Wow who would have thought. He was like what do you mean. I am just surprised that's all. He went on to tell me how he is a masters holder and he is about to get his PhD yada yada yada. I was like thank you very much for your help. He was like why do you hate me, did i do something to you. Did i ever say i hated you. I dunno, most girls warm up to me. I was like you said it yourself most, i must be among the few that doesn't what a life we live in.(abi wetin im wan make i do now). Then, he was like you know i was just messing with you all those times i talk to you. I have a serious girl friend who i am about to be engaged to ( oya clap for yourself, you try). We talked for a while about school, music and several other things. He asked me for my digit, i gave him a blank stare. He was like no biggie, at least i get to see you every weekend... that's enough to put a smile on a guy's face ( stupid me, i open my 32 and i was laughing with him). Well I guess he is not that bad after all or so i think..

PS: i just found out that my cousin has a blog. He is tight with a fellow blogger, he has been looking for me all over blogsville..lol. All he has to do is read about vsnc and our granms, he ll figure out who i am..( mehh that will be the day)

PSS: Guess who left a voice message on my phone, Pale, remember that old ibo man from my other post. who gave this man my number now eh.. hisss. i don't like this new development oh , walai talai.....(wahala dey)

PSSS: You need to check this link when you are chanced and pls tell me what you think about it
http://www.goldinuniverse.com/

GUESS WHAT...

2009-08-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hey people, remember the interview i told you about. Yes so i was interviewed by the wonderful juiceegal. You guyz better check it out or else..... okay nothing....lol . Ehen you see that baboon they call sleep, he decided to disturb me at my job( to think i was waiting all night for the bastard) If you see the battle ehn, i was pratically a zombee today oh..

This is the link to the interview. click here

JUST ANOTHER FRIDAY

2009-08-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful people. Thanks for the comments, I am glad you guyz liked my poem, my head is about to pop oh...lol. Thank you very plenty. So, i have been trying to sleep for the past two hours, but the sleep is just misbehaving and i have to go to work tomorrow or today sef ( 12 hours shift). Sleep you better behave yourself, i am not finding this funny at all.

Anyways i saw this video somewhere and i though it was kind of funny. All the facebook citizens can totally relate to it( i think).

Another one to brighten up your day..

Enjoy!!!

I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor. "Has she started to neglect you?" "Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, she keeps the kids out of my hair. She lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to kinky sex or says she has a headache." "So what's the problem?" "Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, "but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, 'Die! You son of a bitch, die!

Have a wonderful weekend people. Okay i am off to bed, sleep is me and you today.

P.S: l will be doing an interview on blogsville gist later on today. Hope you guys check it out :)

VIRGIN POEM

2009-08-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

Okay this is something new for me. I wanted to see if i could do this. Abeg i take God beg you, don't laff at me oo. PHEW!! here it goes my first real poem.

crush knocked on my door

he was the first who came knocking

i allowed him in without hesitation

he moved in with his family

they come and go as they please

fantasy knocked on my door

i opened my door to him

he gave me an illusion

my imagination grew wide

of things i know will never come through

lust knocked on my door

i motioned him in

he gave me some sleepless night

i tossed and turn those night

still, this were part of my imagination

love knocked on my door

i used the biggest paddlock i could find

i really want to let him, but i can't

he is still outside, patiently knocking

will i ever open that door, only time will tell

There you have it people my virgin poem. hope its not that bad.

I saw this joke somewhere. Enjoy!!

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!" While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?" The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says. "I was behind you in McDonald's!"

HER COUCH

2009-08-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful people. Hope you guyz had a wonderful week, I was working through out the weekend as usual. My granma, the mother of my mum. She has gone back to the motherland. As much as I wanted to see her go, I miss her company already. That is one funny lady, even though she tormented me whenever she had the chance…lol. She gave me some great advice just when I needed them. She is an amazing person, but she no gree old o. If you saw the jeans she brought before she left. Hmmm nuff said..lol. I rest my case. She said she doesn’t know about me, but she is still having her groove on. She and my mum I no know who like enjoyment pass. Those babes love life o. I guess my ma is truly the daughter of her mother.

Anyways to the gist of today, of course its bout me G. mama. Okay so my mum brought a new couch abi na sofa, anyone jare. She brought this new cream colored couch, it was really cute and all, but if you ask me, I really don’t think she needs it, but you didn’t ask so I will be quiet. My ma has been going on and on about the couch for sometime, she finally brought it. The next day my grams told us it will be her permanent chair until she leaves. The funny thing is that the chair could contain two people. My mum wasn’t happy sha, but we were like okay mama whatever you want, abi she is the guest now.

My cousin came to spend the weekend with us. He was watching a movie the night before and I guessed he slept off on that same couch. The next morning, he received two hot slaps for my grams( you know how those morning slaps can pain..lol). Kpai! Kpaaai!. Get out from my chair my friend. My cousin was like ooooooo mama why now. There other chairs na. If you don’t leave that chair this minute I will slap you again. My cousin heard slap and he got up in an instant. My cousin went upstairs grumbling under his breath. Me and vsnc was cracking up, I know we should have told him, but we forgot. Within seconds my grams was complaining, she said the couch smelled of unwatched body. Still she didn’t leave the chair o.

A few days later, my dad’s friend came to see us. He was coming to check on us and see how we were holding up, you know after….. yea. He sat down on my grams chair, he said he didn’t remember seeing the sofa the last time he came. He thought the sofa was nice. Of course my grams came downstairs a couple of minutes later, the way she looked at the guy I thought she was going to choke him or something. My mum gave her the mama-behave-yourself-and sit-down-in another-chair-just-this-once-look. The guy said his greetings and my grams waved him off without making eye contact.

The guy having stayed for a while was ready to leave. He got up from the chair and was saying his goodbyes to us when my grams screamed in a high-pitched voice. I wouldn’t lie to you I was scared o, I thought she was having an attack or something of that nature. You see wetin this yeye man do, you see. We were like what mama, we don’t understand. Oh my God you see wetin you do, the man was as confused as we were. We all looked at what she was pointing at and lo and behold, there was this big black stain( it was like the map of Africa) by the head of the sofa. We were still wondering how it got there, my grams was going on and on. I no understand why person go dye im hair. Even if you wan dye your hair, do am with better dye. Shey you don stain am now, you go rest now abi. New chair for that matter. I didn’t want to laff o, but when vsnc burst out laffing, I had to excuse my self. My mum said the man was speechless, he was too embarrassed to say anything. I love my grams, but she was too hard on the guy. Its not like he did it on purpose now. Yea that’s me G.mama, the love of our lives.

Have a wonderful week

ITS RAINING MEN pt 1

2009-08-07T05:21:00.000-07:00

AWWWW thanks for all the love guyz. I feel so special, so special so special…lol. Thanks for making all that noise, you all are far to kind. I don’t think you guyz are beautiful, I think you are beyond it. I wish I could hug everyone in blogsville. I like you guyz and you like me too…lol ( my remix of every girl)10thx

The summer has been one of kind. I say its raining man, but in this case its raining pale..lol( Old man). First day of class I met two Nigerian ladies who figured out I was Nigerian too for that reason they wanted to be my best friend( me sef tire, but I don’t mind now. After they are my people). I met this old man through them who happens to be igbo. The guy saw and he started rapping igbo. I was like I am not igbo o, the guy gree hear. When he rap im lingo finish the guy see say I no reply, na the guy chill.

The guy okay let me call him pale. Pale says he wants to buy me and the other two chics lunch. Normally, I will say I am good, but when we don do some kind conk nursing ehn. Me no mind o because this babe was hungry sha and for the kind recession period its not really common.

For three day straight pale was buying us lunch. He told us about his wife and how he was a big man in naija, but when he entered yankee he was like a nobody.( lol that is not news to me. Na today). After lunch pale says he wants me to explain one topic for him. Okay fine now no problem, but I was suspecting this guy sha. Why did he not tell the other chics to come. As I don chop small of im money belleful( which was his idea o), it’s the least I can do now abi.

There I was explaining a clinical procedure for him. Pale was like bsnc do you have a boyfriend. I just continue like say I no hear. Did I forget to mention he has a deep, thick ibo accent. Baby I say you get man.( who Is your baby, look at this old man o). Yes I am engaged to this guy in naija. E no mean anything, I have a wife too. I was like Mr. pale, do you want me to explain this thing or what. Pale was like I know all this thing, my wife is a nurse. I just wanted to get you alone with me since you are always with those girls.( for im mind im be sharp man o. hisss)

Pales goes on saying he is a chief in his village and he is entitled to have more than one wife. The guy say im want make I be im side kick( that is what they call it now adays o. chai woman don suffer sha). I was like side wetin, I don’t understand o. He was all this gals wey dey form innocent like dem no no anything, meanwhile na una spoil pass ( you see as this man dey take style insult me). He says if I am a good side kick he will marry me afterwards. I was like excuse me sir, I am not interested. Pale, I mean Chief pale was angry o. I have told you times without number. Stop calling me sir, I don’t like this kind of thing. Call me by my name. I told I could not.

Chief pale says I have just missed a big opportunity. He was ready to spend money on me. He says most girls will take the opportunity with both hands ( as I don become charity case now. Useless man). When he left, one of the girls came over and she was like I messed up big time. She says if she was in my shoes, she will use the man( see me see craze people, ehen carry on now. Who is stopping you) . The next day I greet chief, the guy bone me like I was invincible. He took the other girls to lunch. At least the guy free me.

One week later, chief pale come again. Bsnc this is your last chance. I am giving you another chance. Have you changed your mind? (. Na the fear of God in me no make me do something to this man). I was like thank you very much sir, but I am not interested. Chief says I don’t know what I am missing. Abeg someone should tell me what I am missing o, wetin I wan do with this old agbaya. I saw him with the other chic on several occasions after that, only God know if they were reading together or using their self. Frankly I don’t really care. That was how my summer started….

PS: ignore the typos i am already late for work..lol

I KNOW, I KNOW.......

2009-08-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

PHEW!!!!!!!!! That was intense, lord have mercy. I don't know where i got all my strength from. At least i can rest a little....

My angels, how have you guyz been. I missed you guyz o. You guyz missed me a little abi, a tiny bit, tinkele, at least small now, ahn ahn...lol. I have gist for you guyz o as in tory, chill now.. be patient. Its good to be back. i have to go make my rounds and see what you guyz have been up to.

YAY!!!! BSNC has entered the building and i ain't going nowhere....

HERE WE GO AGAIN

2009-06-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

Hello beautiful people. How are you guyz doing, i know its been a rough week. M.J, the charlie angel chic and the kaboom guy( he does oxy clean ad too). Micheal the only artist that shout woooooo hooooo, yeeea yeea, heee eee,shummo gal, go on gal, you just have to love him mehh... May their soul rest in peace. I was talking to one of my cousin yesterday. He was like i want to be there with dem M.J, 2pac, biggie,big pun......... bsnc can you imagine the groove for that side.... olodo shey you wan follow them die now hissss( i didn't tell him that o). People go just dey talk anyhow.

My brother just found out i have a blog, the same one that used to read my text messages when i was younger, the same one that answers my phone and pretends he was me, the same one that...... (abeg the list too long). How did he find out i dunno, but i am not surprised. I was washing nightrider(my car) the other day and he was like brownskinaijachic how far now. I was like eh what did you just call me. He was like forget that one jare, hope you tell dem babes how cute your broda is. I was like before nko...lol. Like i will do that hiss...lol. abeg commot for road.(i hope he is not reading this o, the guy will fry me)

To the main gist of today. Yes you guessed right Mr. Sean and my granms again. Okay let me start with Mr. Sean.Before i start, I was in my room, almost cloth less. why because heat wan kill me o. VSNC( my sis) refuse to on AC because she is the one paying that particular bill. You can imagine how hot it was. the next day it was six degrees higher. I went to work and Mr. Sean decided to lock all the windows in the house, no AC or anything because he was cold. Like seriously, is this guy for real.

2 hours later, we were talking about something. I can't remember what exactly because i was tripping with sweat, i could not really understand what he was saying. You know you are pouring with sweat when your hair is damp against your face and your cloth is kind of sticking to your body. When he noticed that i wasn't responding to his questions, he was like bsnc are you okay... You don't look so good. In my head i was like shebi when i faint you will really know i am not fine. The next thing i did was even surprising to me.

I didn't even say anything to him. I took a chair from the parlour, took his fan close to me, turned it on to the highest, remove it from spin( u know those fan that turns now), i made the fan face me directly and i was like Mr. Sean i need this break, please just 5 minutes. unless you want me to walk around shirtless.(make person no go pass out) The guy was speechless for about a minute, then he was laughing. do i need to say i didn't find it funny. bsnc you would have said something. I was like but you are cold and i didn't want you to get ill. The guy allowed me to rest for another 15 minutes, God bless his heart. It would have been another story today o.

My granms just came from naija, two days later she says she wants to call my uncle in naija. I gave her phone card to call, she no gree take... she says she wants to use her own phone. I was like mama you can't use that phone to call, she kept on arguing with me. when i tire to explain, i left her and walked away. Ten minutes later, bsnc i no understand o.. dem they say no network. Mama i thought i just told you, you can't call with your phone. She was like, but your uncle called me with his phone when he was in London( i guess some naija network work in jand. i dunno o, i have not tried before). Mama naija to Yankee far o, meanwhile i heard vsnc laughing in the bathroom, babe was not helping matters. instead of her to help me. I was still explaining when this woman walked out on me. That was how she tried my uncle's number till my mum got home. My mum told her the exact same thing i said o. my granms was like okay, bsnc that is what you would have told me now. shey una see my predicament. When i say she is a cutlass in my butt you guyz think i am joking abi.

The other day she and vsnc followed me to the store. I saw this scrub i really like. i was going to buy it, my granms said she liked the shirt. I told her it was my uniform, its not a T-shirt. She says she doesn't care, she wants one.I was not in the mood to argue with her because it seems she is ever ready to argue about everything and nothing in particular. I bought the scrub for her( wetin i go do now).

Two dayz later, she and my mum were going out to see one of their relations. Yes you already know, she wore the scrub and one her trouser. Everybody was laughing at her except me sha, i saw it coming. Mama are you going to work abi you get work wey you no tell us about. She was like what do you mean.. mama that is a uniform now. if you see as she attacked me with insults ehn, my papa neva curse me like that oo. She later apologized sha, but i don't think anybody wanted to be me at that moment.(na good thing i do before o).

I just watched the BET awards. I felt like hugging Janet mehh, i don't want to imagine losing a brother, i have already lost a man close to my heart. She could barely speak, May God give the family all the strength they need. Eventually we will all fall down like toy soilders( yea i got it from eminem song's.. leave me jare)

P.S: I will be gone for a hot minute o, as in steaming, smoking, boiling hot minute. I can't even say i will be busy because busy is an understatement. I will back before you know it. I heart you guyz sha... Hasta bista babies.... :):D

GRANMS

2009-06-24T03:50:00.000-07:00

I am working tomorrow o, instead of me to sleep nooo. i wan blog, which kind juju dey this site eh. The people at my job will not kill o, did somebody say Amen....... ok i will say it by myself AMEN and to think i will be starting summer school very soon, na die o. I will survive.

I got back from work today, Mr. Sean and his wahala that one na story for another day. I was so tired, my bed was calling me bsnc bsnc come let me take you to paradise( eh something like that sha), but i was so hungry. I have barely eaten anything since morning, my new eating habit, story for another day. I managed to eat something, off to bed now. Na lie o, my gran mumsie let me see road. As much as i luff this woman, she has been a cutlass in my ass not pin o, CUTLASS.

Some of you will remember the story about my other gran ma( granma goes to yankee), that was my paternal granms. Remember i said i will gist you guyz about my maternal gran mumsie when she comes, well this one is part of the story...

chai i am already sleepy o( i ll finish this story by force, its not that long na)

My granms called me. Bsnc my back is paining me, abeg help me massage am small.

bsnc: mama no problem.

granms: bsnc you will stand on my back , your hand its too small... that one will not work.

bsnc: mama that one no work o. How can i stand on your back..

granms: i say stand on my back my friend.. This children of nowadayz, they don't listen when elders talk to them( na the woman enter proverbs o)

bsnc: mama e don do, but i am scared o ( which kind thing be this one)

She lay down on the floor. I placed one leg lightly on her back. The woman no gree o, bsnc what is wrong with you. I say stand up on my back with both legs. okay she asked for it. I placed both legs on her back lightly again, i could not even breath sef, i was holding my breath. Bsnc are you trying me, harder, harder, place it harder walk on my back. I took one step, she no complain, then i just relaxed myself and took another step.....

See as this woman scream eh, Jesus!!! bsnc you are a wicked person, do you want to kill me. she bend her head to one side, then she was quiet... Mama, mama are you okay, no answer. I shook her a little. Mama, mama!! still this woman no answer. I don die o, who send me message. I no even bother check her vitals, I was confused, i was about to call the ambulance when this woman start to laugh, as in yeye laugh. I get you shey, i do vsnc she no even shake. you too dey fear sef. I look the woman up and down, i didn't know what to tell her. Person no dey old pass somethings... hisss. Its not like i am angry with her, i was soo tired and she almost gave me premature hypertension. This woman just dash me instant headache this night..

okay bsnc i was joking o, oya come and stand on my back. Mama did i hear you well, who dey stand where... mama goodnite, sweet dreams. Una see this woman, no be me and you today. I just carry my two left leg go sleep( or rather blog). Tomorrow she will tell my mum that i don't have manners. This is not even half of the story, na just say the sleep don arrive and he needs me as much as i need him. i gats to go...

Have a wonderful week people..

LIVING WITH DA BOYZ

2009-06-22T06:30:00.000-07:00

It was my second year in UNIBEN, my dad wanted all of us in college to stay in one apartment since we were all going to the same school. My dad told my brothers; i am handing my girls over to you, if anything happens to them, don't bother coming home..lol( pupsie no dey take im gals play o).

We moved into this big house that had four apartments. We took one, my cousins took one, my brother's friends took one and this other family took one. The apartment had 3 rooms with a master bedroom, a kitchen, a parlour...... I had to share a room with VSNC. You can imagine the imagination, it was literally raining men in that house( as in foine guyz o). What i enjoyed most in that house is their gist.. Meanwhile my brothers don first fall our hand, they told the guyz at the other apartment that we were too young( me and vsnc), make dem no come near us, unless them wan face the consequences. There was this guy i was tripping for badly, but you know guyz with their yeye don't date my sister rules, so everybody hold their side..

No matter how much we cook, the food was never enough because my cousins and my brother's friends come over to our place. It was like we were feeding a whole community. I don't know if they timing us or they watched us, but as soon as the food is already, all of them will appear from nowhere. I didn't mind cooking for everybody o, until the day one of my brother's friend in the other apartment brought another guy to our place. I was watching a movie in the parlour, i think vsnc was sleeping and one of my bro was inside his room, but because there was no car outside(his babe took his car). The guy thought my brothers were not home.

My brother's friend lets call him ken(na im brother i been dey crush on), so ken came with his friend and he was like bsnc i dey H seriously, abeg help me arrange something. There was still stew in the freezer, so i just arrange small rice for am, warm the stew. Ken and his friend chop rice finish, clean mouth. Ken come sittan near me as par coast is clear. Ken friend left us and went to ken's apartment.

KEN: my wife thank you for that food o, babe how far now, you know say you no be small pikin like that, i used to date a girl that was way younger than you and the babe knows how to take care of broda. And as you come set like this.. you are not helping matters. I will finish school in two years time, you don't have to waste your time with all these small boyz, i will leave all those babes because of you, i will take care of you,i will take you places you have only dreamt of........

bsnc: Ehen ken where is your brother, i have not seen him since morning.

KEN: huh... babe i am yarning you something, you dey ask of my bro. which way.. you are disrespecting me o, but i go bone because i like you. My brother na small pikin, he can't.......

My Bro: bsnc go iniside the room...( i didn't even hear him coming, i went inside the kitchen, so i could listen, yes i know i be confirmed amebo..lol abeg leave me jare)

My brother was visible angry. Ken could not look at my brother in the face( the guy know say e don eff up), he was my other brothers friend. okay lemme not confuse you guyz. i have four brothers in our apartment, five cousins(dudes) in the other apartment and three of my brother's friend in the third apartment. ken is my more of cousin's friend because they were in the same department, he is also cool with one of my brothers

My Bro: guy you know say you dey eff up. shey i tell you say make you bone my sistas side. I allow you into our home, but you just dey abuse priviledge.

KEN: guy no be so, your sista na correct babe and i dey tell am the truth. wetin sef, you no dey go out with person sister, no be like say i wan break her heart or anything like that..

My Bro: ken e be like say you don dey craze, are you talking to me like that, infact i don't ever want to see you look at my sista, talkless of talk to her, you hear. If you try me i go cut off your broocus..( his koboko)

KEN: wetin sef na only you get sista. abeg settle down..

Two of my brothers came in, one of my of cousin from the other apartment came in, vsnc even wake up sef. They argued for a while, my brother banned the guy from coming entering our apartment. My brother was like bsnc in just two weeks, you are already causing trouble in this house. Why wouldn't stay on your own like vsnc, See me see wahala, wetin i do now. I was minding my own bizness before o. Ken moved out from his apartment three weeks later with his brothers and my crush left with him :(

This was just my first month with brothers in school......

P.S: Yes i have joined the p.s crew lol.. Thanks alot for the comments from my last post.I really appreciate it, really thanks, It is well, God is in control.I miss him though, very much :):). Hope you guyz have a wonderful week.

MY MAINEST GUY...

2009-06-21T13:11:00.000-07:00

I turned on the television, its all about father's day, the news, shows, ad, what we need to get our old man for father's day. I miss my dad so much, i wish i could hug him and listen to his wise words and funny stories.

My dad called me mid 2007. He said himself and my little brother were going to be in yankee for the summer. I was so happy, i had not seen my dad in 5 months( he came for xmas).Even though we text each other every single day, i still wanted to see him. I was making plans in my head, i was going to take him and my brother to so many places. We spoke for about an hour, he advised me about life and the importance of education.

The next day i had an exam. i already knew i got it because i needed just 30 points to get an A, so even if i failed by final exam(like a 40%), i was still going to pass. Twenty minutes before my exams, i had a couple of phone calls, it is well bsnc everything is going to be alright. I was like yes i know, i don't even need to read for the exam.

My brothers called me after my exams, they said there were going to pick me up. Okay my brothers have not picked my up from school for ages. Now both of want to pick me up... Today must be my lucky day, people were wishing me well on my exams, now my brothers want to pick me up. I told one of them to not bother himself because the other one is coming over.

An hour later, i was in the car with my brother. My brother was talking about some random stuff all of a sudden, he is usual quiet compared to my other brothers. I felt a pain in chest, i couldn't breath, i knew something was wrong, but i couldn't place it. I noticed he was taking the route to my aunt's place.

bsnc: Is everything okay?

Bro: yes why would you think everything is not okay

bsnc: i dunno, you have been behaving strange and i just have that feeling you know..

Bro: well something bad happened.

bsnc: What, is anything wrong with pupsie or anybody in the family.

Bro: Somebody died, but its not our immediate family.

bsnc: phew.. I was kind of relieved, but i was still kind of scared.

bsnc: so who died

My brother didn't say anything for the next 15 minutes. i could hear my heart beating so fast again. Why would he not say something. We stopped at my aunt's place. my brother looked at me, took both my hands and told me the news.... bsnc pupsie died today. I remove my hands from his and stepped out from the car. no! no! no! its not true, its a joke right... am not finding it funny anymore.

I walked into my aunt's house and walked into my other brother's arm. He held me for almost 10 minutes, then he whispered in my ears, bsnc its true. I looked at him and i saw a tear drop slide down his face, i turned around and i saw my mum for the first time that day. The tears were falling down her eyes like rain drops. I went to her and tried my best to console her.

I didn't cry, it didn't make sense to me. For crying out loud i spoke to my dad yesterday, he said he was coming next month. My mum turned to look at me, bsnc did you not hear what everybody is saying, your dad is no more. Mummy i hear what you are saying, but i don't understand. i called my dad's phone, no answer. i called VSNC(she was in naija then), is it true. she could no say anything.

The next day i still could not cry. i mean why would i. My mum and brothers were worried about me. Everybody knows how close i was to my pups, they used to call me joseph, they said they will kidnap me one day and sell me to the mallams..lol

Two days later, i was reading an article and i wanted to share the story with my dad, then it hit me.... My dad is gone, he is really gone forever and i will see him no more. The tears just kept flowing, my mum was happy in a sad way, bsnc.. yes, let it out, let it flow, don't hold it back. she held me and i cried like a baby. At first i was angry with my dad, why didn't he fight back, he is the strongest man i know. It was hard, but i accepted it. I cried every single night for 3months, then it was every other day, then once in a week, then once in a while because i realise no matter how much i cry, he is never coming back. All i am left with is happy memories of him.

Sometimes i stop and think, he will not be there when i graduate, who will give me out on my wedding day, he will not be there to see his grandchildren and tell them the funny stories he told me when i was a kid. Daddy you are the most intelligent, funny, wise, handsome, kind, inspirational person i have ever met. I am proud to be your daughter. You are my Superstar...

R.kelly could not say it any better. i wish that i could hold you now, i wish i could touch now. i wish i could talk to you, be with you somehow. I know you are in a better place and i know i can't see your face, i know you are smiling down on me saying everything is okay.. its okay daddy, God has been wonderful to me

I LOVE YOU DADDY.

Happy father's day to all the wonderful daddys out there. If you get your papa, respect your papa, love your papa, embrace your papa because papa no get two. Daddys are the best o. Thanks for the comments from my last post, you guyz are too much. oya chop knuckles.

Have a lovely week

vitamins or VITAMINS...

2009-06-15T08:14:00.001-07:00

Hello beautiful people. Hope your month has been great, Happy HALF year and happy birthday to the June babies including my lovely baby brother, chai that boy don big o, meaning I am getting wiser...

Mr. Sean is one funny dude I tell you. For those of you who don't know, Mr. Sean is my patient. He is paralyzed from neck down ( I know, I know.. how sad, tell me about it. I thank God for my life everyday), so he is totally dependent on me. Did I mention he has two girlfriends.. Okay oo

Mr. Sean takes a lot of drugs everyday (pain killers, sleeping pills, laxative, vitamins). I noticed he took his vitamins once in a while. On this fateful day, Mr. Sean sent me to the CVS pharmacy to pick up his vitamins. I got there, it took a while for them to verify and give me the drug, but they eventually gave the drugs to me. I am not a nosy person, but I was curious (plus make I no go give person poison drink). Why were they asking me all those questions?
I got into the car, took out the medicine bottle from the bag and what did your girl see V.I.A.G.R.A. I did a double take, via.. what now. Yes VIVA VIAGRA (like they say in the ad..lol). Viagra, so this is what he calls his vitamins. Hmmm Interesting.

It all came to me in a flash. Anytime HGF( one of his babe) comes around, he tells me to give him his vitamin. I noticed his bed got broken on several occasion over the past few month. He always has a new catheter (the thing he used to urinate) whenever HGF sleeps over. I might be putting too much into it, but in this case I am 93.5% sure that one plus one is definately 2.

I remember my first day of work. I was cleaning him up and he had an erection, I was shocked, but he told me he had no idea because he doesn’t feel anything down there. So if he doesn’t feel anything down there and I am pretty sure they do the deed. Then how…. Or who….. but he.. Okay I don tire to analyze this thing. What do you guyz think?

Mr. Sean left his bed for the first time in 6 months. Guess who convinced him to go out, yes you guessed right moi( I am proud of myself o, I did good). I didn’t even worry him; I just mentioned it to him on several occasions that he needs to go out once in a while. He told me he wanted to go for his relative's graduation . I was so happy for him, but who send me message. This guy weighs over 300 pounds and his is 6”4, it took me 2 hours to transfer him from the bed to the wheel chair. I didn’t lift him by myself if that is what you are thinking lol.(unless you make I die.). They have this thing called Hoyer lift that they used to lift patient, but its my first time using it and I was kind of scared. I was like if the man fall now, it will not be funny o. I will just fall with him too.

We got to the venue late, the place was full, but you know they always have an available spot for people with disability, so we had a good spot. I never knew high school graduation was a big deal here. abi no be the same high school I finish. It was really nice sha, he saw his relative, they hugged each other for what seemed like forever. She was crying, he was almost in tears, everybody was crying, except me of course ( wetin bring that one now) .

On our way back to his apartment, there was this other guy on the metro bus with his patient. He had a combination of British and Jamaican accent. I was like you have a wonderful accent. The way the guy looked at me ehn, you will think I said you mouth smells like goat shit. He was like okay, I didn’t know some people where compliment-phobic( only in bsnc dictionary..lol) as in people don’t like compliments.. abi was I wrong.

Mr. Sean thanked me through out that day, but he said he is going to leave his bed again till 2011...lol. Well his cousin( yes that cousin, the one on my case) is doing a BBQ part and he thinks I can convince Mr. Sean to come out again. Lets see how that goes. Yesterday i was done for the day and Mr. Sean goes bsnc can i have my vitamins and i was like will HGF be coming over today. He was like how do you know. I told him i was pyschi..lol. Yes you can have your vitamins alright...lol

Hope you guyz are good.

:D

2009-06-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

I can't believe i was that upset..lol. I can laugh about it now.. phew. Okay okay maybe i over reacted a little, but i needed to let it out somewhere. I hope it will take a couple years to make me that upset again. Loila, Abeni, Roc, FlyHigh and GNG you guyz are amazing, Thanks alot. Bibi and Fashinga i owe you one, thanks a bunch. Those of you who prayed for me and wished me well, thanks :).

I just have to do a thankful post, since i have a lot of thank yous to go around,the B edition. I have seen the A,D,E and G edition.

BLESSING: I am thankful for God's blessing in my life. If i was told to count my blessings, i will not finish counting them in years to come. I am grateful for your blessings Lord..

BIBLE: I am thankful for the book of knowledge. I have the ability to learn about you, your son, the holy spirit, your words, prayers, wisdom, miracle... there is so much to learn.

BEAUTY: I am thankful for the beauty and wonders of the world. The beautiful trees, oceans, people, places, countries, animals, flowers...... It is indeed a beautiful world.

BRAINS,BODY AND BREATH: Can you imagine the world with brainless people, it will be full of useless. I am thankful for our bodies; fat, chubby, skinny, muscular, black, white, caramel,orange,soft, wrinkled... I am thankful for the breath of life.

BOYS: They sure make the world interesting..lol.

BLOGGER: I am thankful for blogger.I have learnt alot from this site and i am hoping to learn more. The people here are truly amazing.I am thankful for you guyz, each and everyone of you.

I am thankful that i am feeling better now :) :D

*************************************************************************************

A New vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. " Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman. "Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady. The bewildered salesman asked, " Why, madam?" "There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady **********

NOT SO GOOD.

2009-06-10T08:27:00.000-07:00

I am upset, very upset. I have not been this angry in a while. This wasn't what i was going to blog about. I needed to let this out somewhere. I am a nice person. i take alot from people, but there is so much a human being can take. Its like this week is PISS OFF bsnc's week, as the week progresses people just keep upsetting me. I am so mad i could cry, but i am not going to cry. I refuse to..

I don't mean to put this out here like this, you guyz know me well enough. I am a happy camper. I know i will be okay, i know these things happen. I wish i could talk about it, but i don't think i want to.
This no be man palaver o...lol. Okay why i am laughing now. i still dey vex...

I really hope you guyz are having a better week. It is well.

p.s: Comment in this post has been disabled.

NEW ORLEANS

2009-06-05T04:58:00.000-07:00

The Next stop was actually Texas, I just felt like using New Orleans as the title. I like the sound of the name New Orleans. Okay enough about the name, but just say it New Orleans, doesn't it sound nice (BSNC chill, enough about the name already).

We were going to stop at New Orleans (here I go again...lol), but we had no family members there. We or rather my brother and VSNC drove down to Texas. I really don’t know how long it took because I slept almost through out the trip. I guess the drugs they gave me after we left Mississippi was still having its effect on me.

We stopped at this eatery to eat something. The people there were so nice and they had this sing-song deep southern/country accent. I really liked their accent and they used endearments in whatever they say. Like hey sugar, can I get you and the cutie pie something to drink, hey pumpkin are you okay. I could listen to them all day. They were playing Don William’s “I Believe in you” in the background. It was just beautiful and serene. It brought back memories when my dad used to have record players or is it record changer, you know those records plate that’s looks like CD’s, but its bigger, the surface is black and it spins. The plates are kept inside this big thin envelope ( I know someone knows what I am talking about sha..lol). My dad used to like country music, we will just sit outside sometimes and listen to it while the sunsets. I could not believe they still have tunable record player.

We got to Texas at about 5:40pm. We turned on the radio and they were playing one of Dolly Parton’s classic “Jolene”. Yes this is Texas for sure..lol, good old country music. Texas is a Big beautiful city; the building, the roads, the traffic was not too crazy. My brother said Texas is almost the size of Nigeria, is he for real….

My aunt stays in Houston or a town 5 minutes away from Houston. I got to meet another set of cousins for the first time. The next day we just cruised around Houston, but we didn’t go to far because my cousins where not really good with the roads. Everybody in the neighborhood seems to be Nigerian, and the bride to be (my neighbor and family friend from naija) lives 5 blocks away from them. The weather was soo hot; I was perspiring for the first time this year. It was like I was in naija again. I went for two BBQ that day in the neighborhood. As a result; I almost missed the traditional wedding.

The next day, we went for a wedding anniversary. There were a lot of old folks, boogying to some old school jams. It was fun; I was surprised I knew most of the songs. My cousins were not feeling it, so we had to leave early. When I was going to show them my running man move..lol. We got home and watched home videos for 6 straights hours, my aunt has this big Ghana-must-go bag filled with home videos.

The next day was the white wedding, or rather weddings. We realized that the two weddings we came for fell on the same day. My mum went for the other one and told us she will meet us later. I was really intrigued by this wedding because I have never been to a combination of a Muslim and Christian wedding. The Muslim part was kind of short while the Christian part took the rest of the day. It was a wonderful ceremony, a lot of drinks, dancing, foods, toasters here and there. I saw this guy reading a book and I was like this na scribbles people. Time to catch the bouquet, chics were almost fighting for that thing o. Two ladies fell down because of bouquet, no be me and una. There are a lot of Nigerians in Texas sha and people say Maryland is the head quarters for Nigerians.

All in all, it was a really nice road trip and now I am flu-free except for VSNC, she has a mild case of the winch flu. Now how did that happen….lol.

Have a wonderful weekend people.

MISSISSIPPI

2009-06-03T09:48:00.001-07:00

Mississippi you know i never quite knew how to spell Mississippi, i didn't know it had alot of S's and P's. From Alabama, it took us about 4 hours to get to Mississippi or rather our destination in that area. I was suppose to drive, but since i still have the flu that was a no go area.

3 hours to the journey, my mum wanted to use the ladies and get something to drink. We stopped at this gas station( that was when i saw my first red neck). We entered the food mart.

Cashier: Did you miss your way( he gave us this uncomfortable stare like we were bag of worms).

Mum: No i just wanted to use the ladies and get something to drink.

Cashier: Are you sure you didn't miss your way. Its very strange that you people are in here.

Mum: I just told you we didn't miss our way. Please where is the bathroom.

Cashier: The bathroom is broke and we don't sell drinks.

Mum: I just saw a lady entering the bathroom( then dawned on my mum).

We smiled said our thank you and walked away. I was astonished, did you mean we still have people like this in this 21st century. He didn't even try to hide it, he made it crystal clear to us that we were not wanted in their vicinity. I have heard about red necks, maybe i have even come across some without my knowledge, but this was my first direct approach with one. Na wa o ,wonders they say sha never end. This one pass America wonder...

Mississippi is a village o. Some of the nigerian roads are even better sef, there were bumps and a couple of pot holes. The place was so dusty and i saw my first sand in Yankee( i never see sand since i enter this country o). I saw one or two cows( abi na malu malu) crossing the street. There were a couple of farms with corn. I was just waiting to see a woman roasting corn by the road side.

We got to my uncle's house an hour later. Nobody told us he lives in the forest. The sides and back of the house were covered with tress. You have to walk or drive at least two miles before you get to the next house. His house was huge and spectacular, but still why you go build house inside forest. He said it was cheap and the area was very peaceful although they have killed a couple of snakes here and there. Can you imagine my uncle telling us about snakes, i don't like snakes for anything . Go uncle, what a way to make someone at ease. My imagination was going wild, what else was inside this forest of a house. I was so uncomfortable. if i feel something close to my legs or neck, i let us a small scream. I was so jumpy, everybody was like bsnc you relax now. Abeg people tell me how can someone relax. I had this 15 year old(boy) cousin whom i have never met. Dude had a toy snake, he found it amusing to torment me with the stupid toy. First of all i had this flu that was killing me softly, i was still kind of sore from the wii game and now all i can see and think about was snakes.

My uncle, did i mention i have seen him only three times in my life. Well he is my dad's cousin, i suppose that still make him my uncle or is it my second uncle,I dunno jare. He told my cousin to quit fooling around, after all i was a guest and its not nice to treat a guest like that.( i was already aiming to give the yeye boy the flu). My uncle is a doctor, his wife is a pharmacist and his daughter( who i also met for the first time) is a surgeon. Okay why am i telling you this, well i guess they taught i was a lab experiment because these people were bombarding me with drugs. BSNC take this, no she should take this, that is not strong enough take this. After drinking about a hundred tablet(close to it sha), i was completely knocked out. I slept for 8 hours straight( i have been having sleepless night because of the so called winch flu) and it felt good.

I woke up at about 8:30, 9 pm. My nose wasn't so stuffy again, it was as if they remove the spell on me, i still had the flu, but not the winch flu. We were discussing how bad Mississippi looked and how some villages even looked better. My uncle's wife got angry and decided she wanted to take us to the city. She says she doesn't like it when people bad-mouths her state. We were not far from the truth now...lol.

The city abi na residential area turned out to be magnificent, they had alot of casinos. Since i have not been to Los Vegas and i have no idea if i will be going there anytime soon, i decided to take the opportunity and go to the casino. You know just to see what all the fuss is about.

The casino was breath taking, it is called HARD ROCK. They had all this costumes that rockers wore from the 80's and 90's . From Elvis to Madonna, from Bon Jovi to Elton John, 3 doors down... I played my first slot with 1 dollar and i won 9 dollars, the second slot i won 6 dollars and i decided to stop. The thing was addictive, but i wasn't going to let them suck me in. I saw this couple blow 300 dollars and they left there with nothing. I even managed to buy everybody drinks with the small money i won, at least i didn't leave there empty handed.

After that we went to this music concert which i didn't enjoy by the way because i had no idea who was singing or what they were saying. We left the concert and got something to eat and we chatted about everything and nothing in particular. We got home at about 3am. Mississippi wasn't so bad after all. It turned out alright. Next stop New Orleans or is it Texas.

PS: i took this trip last month, i am back home. I am feeling better now, no more winch flu again. Thanks for the concern ;)

ALABAMA

2009-06-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

Hello wonderful people of blogsville. Wow thanks for all the comments, I feel loved, you guyz are just too much. Last week was hectic for me sha. I’m glad its over, hopefully this new month will be better for me and everybody else.

Miss Sneezer single handedly made my flight trip the worse trip I have taken till date. We rented a car in Atlanta and then we began the real road trip. Two minutes to the trip we or rather my brother got lost. I was like for are you for real; we have not even gotten anywhere. Everybody gave me the-shut-up-who-asked-for-your-opinion-look. I understood and buried my head in the novel I was reading (before person insult me). He eventually figured it out (thank God), he put in the John Legend “Evolver” album and that was how I felt in love with the album, the same way I liked his first album. Yes I’m a fan..

Our next stop was Alabama; my bro said it was going to take us 3 hours to get to our destination (my uncle’s house). Somewhere between Atlanta and Alabama, we stopped somewhere to get something to eat. Everybody inside the restaurant were oyinbos. They were quiet all of a sudden and stared at us blankly like we were aliens that just stepped into earth. They were all nice though. We ordered our food and proceeded to do some serious damage to our meal, but the staring wouldn’t stop.( this people where just staring). I tried to ignore them and enjoy my meal; I almost choked on my chicken sef. It was kind of creepy sha, meanwhile my family were busy doing justice to their meal.

I was so relieved when we left the restaurant, I didn’t even enjoy my food. We got to Alabama about 9:30pm. We were all tired and went straight to bed. I woke up the next morning with a stuffy nose. I could not breath freely, my head was aching, I had chest pain…. Yes you guessed right, the witch (Miss Sneezer) gave me the flu. I was so useless that day, sneezing everywhere ( I used a paper towel and close my mouth), I had a catchy throat, and an annoying headache( I thought I was going to sneeze out my brain any minute). I was running away from my cousins the whole day, they thought it was a game, but I didn’t want them to get the witch flu. Yes that is what I named it since I know it wasn’t swine flu then it’s the witch flu..lol

After much persuasion and pleading, I agreed to play the Wii game (boxing) with them. I still did not allow them to get too close to me. My brother wanted to play the game too. He didn’t know how to play the game o, instead of him to ask questions he took the game pad from my cousin and punched me on my arm and boy did it hurt ( wetin I do this people now)

One hour after playing the game, I didn’t only feel light headed, my arm was still hurting, I felt pain all over. I didn’t know the Wii game was a thorough work out o. I felt like I have been lifting weight for hours. I remember the first time I tried to lift weights with my brothers, lord have mercy. Those boy are wicked sha, they didn’t even warn me. I thought I was going to crap on myself. I almost died that day, its funny now when I think about it, but it was not so funny that day. Okay back to my story. VSNC was laughing at me, I purposely sneeze in her direction on several occasions (I know I am evil..lol). The flu was bad o that was when I know there is a difference between catarrh and flu. Alabama wasn't so bad, it was a cool but very quiet town.Next stop Mississippi.

Happy new month people.

ROAD TRIP

2009-05-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

Hello wonderful people of blogsville. Thanks a lot for the lovely messages from blogsville, to yahoo and face book. You guyz are INCREDIBLE, I missed you guyz a lot. I can’t believe I haven’t blogged for two whole weeks. I am still trying to catch up( I know I have missed a lot), although those witch people at my job have put me on a 5 days schedule. I just came back yesterday o, there refuse to allow me rest for just one day sef. I have to work 5 dayz straight, if anything happens to me it’s their fault o. How have you guyz been. I hope everybody is okay. If not, don’t worry yourself too much everything will be alright. My exams went well and the road trip was wonderful and exhausting at the same time.

We were supposed to drive down to Atlanta, a 14 hours trip. My brother couldn’t make it; he had some stuff to sought out. My other brother said he was going to help us with the driving, but he will meet us in Atlanta since he stays in Texas. After much deliberation, we finally agreed to fly down to Atlanta (2 hours trip as opposed to the 14 hours road trip). I was not happy with the new development because it is called a road trip not fly-road trip, but nobody was willing to drive. I can’t drive alone for 14 hours now ( wetin na me first go road trip).

We boarded the plane to Atlanta and who do I have to sit next to; none other than the one and only world greatest sneezer. I saw her coming sneezing all over the place like there was no tomorrow. I quickly whispered a silent prayer, she walked passed me, phew that was a close one. Only for her to come back; excuse me I think I am by the window. I turned back and cast a quick glance at VSNC(my twin), babe was laughing like a hyena( yeye girl hissss). I asked the air hostess if there was any available seat, at that point I didn’t even mind sitting next to the toilet. I just need to get away from Miss Sneezer. She came back 5 minutes later; I am sorry you have to manage. Are this people seriously telling me I have to sit next to sneezing lady for the next 2 hours… I don’t have a problem with people who sneezes( anybody can catch the flu), but the lady refuses to use a tissue or better still cover her mouth and nose.

Asheeoow asheeoow asheeeow, the lady was on a sneezing spree o( wetin noaw na competition). Asheeow on my clothes, body and food too. I gave her a tissue, the air hostess gave a napkin. She looked at both of us and continued her business.I tried holding my breath, but i couldn't hold it for too long(make i no go die). She didn’t even have the decency to close her mouth. You could visibly see the millions of bacteria in the air. I didn’t have to turn around, I could hear VSNC laughing. If I had a bucket, I would have placed it on top the Miss Sneezers head. This lady was just being unfair. That was how it all started……….

IN A MINUTE

2009-05-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hello wonderful people of blogsville. How has your month been going... Well mine has been hectic o. I know i have not be stalking your blogs like i use to, but i have been so busy. I got back from work on friday, hoping to comment on some blogs before i sleep. I opened my blog only to find out that 14 people updated(kai i just weak). I quietly logged out, took two tablets of Tylenol and went straight to bed.

All those people who checked out our new blog. thanks alot for the support, you guyz are just too much. As for the anonymous who ever you are, i no get power o. i have too much on my mind right now. As you can see my name is BrownskiNAIJAchic, not brownskin chinese or australian chic, so i sound nigerian because i am a NIGERIAN. Abeg free me, if dem send you come tell them you did't see me. Its all good

I will be gone for a while, so i would not be able to update and comment. Immediately after my exams, i will be going for a road trip with my familia. It will take us close to two week because we are going for two weddings, a graduation party and an anniversary, so we will make several stops on our way. I will try and stalk peeps blog when and if i see a system.

I'm going to MISS you guyz so much. You guyz are too good to me :)

I will be back! (arnold schwarzenegger style)

*************************************************************************************
You know i have to leave you guyz with something :)

Enjoy

A Japanese doctor said," Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks".

A German doctor said, "That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks".

A British doctor said, " In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks".

A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House and now half the country is looking for work".

WE DID IT (finally)

2009-05-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

Hello wonderful people of blogsville. Hope you guyz are okay and your week has been going as planned.

Well we(myself, bibi and Miss FlyHigh) just opened a new blog called touring our minds. Click here to find out more :)

Are you still here.. GO go go...lol

Have a lovely week people

ANOTHER ONE

2009-05-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

How are you guyz doing. Thanks for the comment from the last post, i am glad you guyz liked the joke. I have been kind of busy, exams and project.. still blogville no let me see road. Sorry if i didn't comment in your blog, i will try to do so. I will try to do a proper post when i am less busy. Enjoy the clip and the joke. Have a nice day or night :)

I know the clip is long, but its funny

Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. I have some Nigerians up here in Heaven who are causing some problems. They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they've got Maggi sauce and Ogbono soup all over their robes; hamhocks, Isi-ewu, Cow-feet and Bokoto bones are all over the streets of Gold. Some folk are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are soda bottles all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit with their hairstyles." The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil." The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? What the.! ...!, hold on one minute." The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?" The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there." The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold. After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?" The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't belieee.....hold on, Lord". This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. These Nigerians put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!!"

LOL

2009-05-05T09:50:00.000-07:00

This clip is funny

Michael Jackson and Bobby Brown were arguing about who the best dancer was;
they said when they go to heaven they would decide.
Mariah Carey and Madonna were arguing about who the greatest prostitute was; they said when they get to heaven they would decide.
Wesley Snipes said he was the ugliest man in the world
and nobody argued with him.

In heaven, Michael Jackson came out of the door and told Bobby Brown:
"You see i told you i was the greatest dancer"
Madonna came out of the door and said,
"You see, i told you i was the greatest prostitute"
Wesley Snipes came out of the door and was angry.......
They asked him what the matter was, he said

"WHO THE HELL IS TARIBO WEST"?

BENG BENG BENG

2009-05-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hey beautiful people of Blogs Villa. Hope everybody is good and your week has been going as planned. Thanks for the comments from my last post, you guyz are incredible .

I have been kind of busy; school, project, work… well work was okay this week, so on Saturday morning after doing my morning routine( feeding and cleaning Mr. Sean). We were or I was playing this new game he brought ( WANTED, I guess some of you have seen the movie). It was about 10am, and we hear this bumping sound upstairs right above his room,(he stays in an apartment). It was slow at first, then it increased gradually, bang bang bangbangbang… it went on for about 3 to 4 minutes. Mr Sean was like BSNC did you hear that. Me, hear what... I acted like I was so engrossed in the game. I didn’t even look at him. He was like never mind, I thought I heard something. That bumping sound was really audible; I was waiting for the ceiling to open sef.

Three hours later bangbangbangbang bang baaang…. Mr. Sean looked at me, you still can’t hear that. Me, ohh that sound, you know its raining outside, I guess its getting heavier by the minutes (see this man o, na my mouth you wan hear say cray fish bend).

Two hours later, it has stopped raining and I wasn’t playing the game. We hear the sound again, bang, boom, bang boomboom bang… This time I couldn’t help myself, i just bust out laughing. Mr. Sean was like so you can hear the sound now, of course I can hear the sound .. I am not deaf now, its like there were on a banging marathon( I didn’t say that to him sha). He said he thought he was going crazy, he was hearing that sound through out the night. I suggested if I should tell them to keep it down. He looked at me like I was crazy. Well I tried, what was I suppose to say…

Later that day his cousin and HGF(his babe) came over to see him, the same cousin from my other post. HGF wanted to wash his hair alone,(less work for me abi) she told me to bring his shampoo and conditioner. While she was washing the hair Mr. Sean told her, he doesn’t like the way she is doing it, he says he wants me to do it instead. She was soo pissed, she was close to crying. I felt so bad, I told Mr. Sean that I had an injury on my finger, so I can’t really do anything. I excused myself self and went to the other room. Shey you see this yeye man, now that I am getting along with HGF, the guy wants to put sand in my garri. ( I no like wahala o, at all)

The cousin was at the other room( I was like ooo which kind thing be this now). I walked past him and sat down at the other corner of the room, minding my own bizness. The cousin being the busy body that he is, came over to my side and sat beside me( the guy fine shaaa I no go lie, but I no send jo). The guy started his sermon again oo. He was like why am I forming hard to get, girl are always all over him,....…. (story story, once upon a time… na today mcheew). He was still giving his speech when HGF told me I was free to go, 1 hour before the end of my shift. I quickly gathered my stuff and walked away. The cousin was like you know this is not the end of our conversation( na im sabi, OYO for him o. no time)..

Here is my little lol gift.. Enjoy( i know its kind of old)

There was a plane going overseas. The pilot realized after they had taken off that the plane was carrying too much weight. If they didn't lighten the load they were going to crash.

So they dumped the freight.

The plane was still too heavy. Then they dumped the luggage. Still too heavy! So the pilot announced to the passengers what was going on, and asked for about 15 volunteers to jump off the plane with a parachute. The navy had been alerted, so they would have ships waiting for them below. And they would get a pass to fly free on this airline for the rest of their lives.

No one budged.

The pilot asked again, still no one moved.

So the pilot says: "OK, we're going to do pick people to jump, but fairly.

We'll go by alphabet, race by race: Please All African Americans step to the front of the plane now!"

No one moved.

He then says: "All Blacks, step to the front, please."

No one still moved.

"All Coloreds step to the front, please."

Still no one moved.

At this point a little boy asked his father: "Dad, aren't we African American or Black or Colored?"

The father says: "No, son, today we're Negroes. And if someone doesn't hurry up and step up to the front, we're going to be Zulu!"

Hope you guyz have a Wonderful month :)

HAPPENINGS...

2009-04-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

Hey fellow citizens of blogsville. I hope everybody is great and you guyz are having a wonderful week. Thanks again for all comments, you guyz are far too kind. Can I hear an encore do you want more( okay ignore the last sentence…).

Work last week was okay, still no drama. I should be happy right?.. Mr Sean is still staring at my starables( boobs). On Saturday, we were discussing about something and out of nowhere he says since his incident he has never had a worker that made him laugh soo hard, I am a wonderful company and he is glad I work with him. (That was the nicest thing he has ever said to me.. I think. ). I was really touched.. even when he calls me sweetheart, dear, sweetie and tells me my boyfriend is soo lucky( I no tell am anything about bf oo). That simple statement topped it all for me. VSNC(my twin) thinks he likes me, but I think he is just trying to be nice abi no be so.

For the first time since I started this job, I was free on Sunday, so i went to church( yes I finally did. Thank you lord). Instead of VSNC and bibi to let me rest, they insisted we go out. First of all the sun was insane. I know I am African, but almost 90 degrees… what is that.. On our way to pick bibi, nightrider refuses to cool us down. The yeye thing was just blowing hot air ( as the weather hot reach).. VSNC did her abracadabra and he responded to her.

We got to the theater and the only movie that seems watchable was Obsessed staring idris ( the guy from daddy’s little girl) and beyonce.( the babe married to jay z).. The soda was close to 5 dollars for a cup, bibi refused to take the soda. I had to drink something, my mum and aunt thinks I am dehydrated and stressed, so I need a lot of fluid in my system. I think I am just lazy jo.. The place was jam-packed, we had to sit in the first row( I was like make this thing no fall on top person head). The movie was okay, nothing special about it. It was too predictable, like our naija home video. I can’t wait for wolverine to come out..

Bibi removed her audio post o. why I don’t know. I honestly thought it was nice, but she says most people were laying emphases on how young she sounded and not the audio post itself. Hopefully we will do something together pretty soon…

Is it just me or is everybody writing an essay on their status update..I was going to blog about something else, I don’t know what happened. Well I saw this write up somewhere by Ali Baba. I though It was funny, so I wanted to share.. Enjoy!!!

Why does anyone choose to wear white shirts when he or she knows that the armpit area of the shirt is yellow yellow Why? Especially when you have not been selected by MTN as brand ambassador. The fact that that part is yellow (as against yellowish) purely shows that the hair under your armpit is a fermentation factory for sulphur.

By the way, out of curiosity, why do people with this custard condition always want to put their arms around you? They also come to church and are the first to shout Alleluia! Not minding the line of sight of the person next to them. I know I shouldn’t be looking and judging people in church… but what happened to cleanliness is next to Godliness. This one isn’t even next to… its right inside God’s house. I don’t know the Bible very well but there should be some penance for that kind of un-cleanliness.

The way I see it, is that you either shave the Bush or stop wearing white shirts altogether. Don’t even try other shirt colours. We all know yellow doesn’t mix well with other colours. It’s a very vibrant colour so if you go on to other shirt colours you will end up having the armpit part of your shirt looking like adire fabric or Ghanaian kente! Pay hair-ttention to your armpits, please or wear a suit. Better still, look for some Texan black leather jacket (yacket if you are Calabar and zacket if you are in any way related to Vice President Goodluck Zonathan).

Another matter that matters if you are in an enclosed place is the indescribable pollution of the air when some knit wit decides to remove his smelly feet from the safe protection and containment of his of shoes for fresh air. Fresh air? You just killed the fresh air! Air murderer! The other day as we were watching a movie in my study, a romantic scene had a man kissing a woman all over. I mean allllllll over. One lady dared to say, you see… Nigerian men don’t love like this. God forbid bad thing. Any man who licks or kisses any smelly feet like this will die of unknown causes.
What of bad breath? People who have this serious condition always want to whisper things to you. No. Write whatever you feel like telling me down. I can read with you around… breathing is my problem. Oh , better still send a text. After now una go they wonder why babes no dey kiss una. Even just blowing a kiss can be a problem. Some bad breath travel by Bluetooth. Its not about just brushing your teeth. You SHOULD scrub your tongue too. In fact, I stand to be corrected, its not your teeth that smells. Its that backyard of your tongue.

Now there is a reason that made someone sweat it out in a laboratory to create a fabric freshener. Please buy one. Or change your wash man. OH sorry, you think that place you drop your clothes is a DRYCLEANERS’? You wish. How can your give clothes to be washed and they come back smelling funky? Improperly made starch and sour smelling freshness. I sat next to one guy at the departure lounge, we know each other from way back. He wore a shirt that was neatly ironed. The smoothness reminded me of inspections in the hostels in those days. In all that smoothness was the smell of fabric not properly washed or well dried. So every now and then I will ask him, you mess? He will say Nooo, how can? I will give him time and ask again. Until I pitied him and told him. He had the effrontery to say he thought that something had died around somewhere.

Ladies please, I don’t want to expose other things… because this is a blog for everyone. BUT PLEASE, PLEASE! Must your braids have an anniversary before you remove it? Like a friend asked, Are braids and weave-on pregnancies? One lady entered the lift from the 4th floor of a 14 floor building… we all got out on the 7th floor and use the stairs. She was going to the penthouse. She was a “big madam” in the office. I kid you not. Do you know how long braids are kept to take on the smell of locust beans being prepared by an Ilorin woman?

That was the day I wished I had cold. And she is married. How can any man sleep through that stench. I don’t even want to imagine his other matrimonial obligations.

Tufiakwa!

Lol that is Ali Baba for you. Have a lovely week people..

MERCEDES, WORK AND CRAZY EIGHT MEME

2009-04-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

This blogville citizens, you guyz are too much o. Thanks a lot for all the comments( I dey feel like a young alhaji because una dey burn my heart). I know.. I know I have not blogged in a while, its not my fault o, school and work palaver no let me see road.( thanks Abeni I am okay)..

As I am typing the post, my head is aching like crazy, but I said I must blog today and blog I will.. Work was okay this week, nothing special happened.. ohh yes something happened. Yours truly almost passed out or did I pass out.. I don’t know again jo. All I remembered was ,I was talking to Mr Sean( my patient) one minute and the next I could not hear what he was saying, I couldn’t see clearly. I had to excuse myself, it was kind of scary , I never faint before o. it was nothing major sha, everything happened within seconds. The guy was scared, he didn’t allow me do anything that day.. I felt bad. I told VSNC( my twin) what happened and the big mouth told my mum. My mum called me like every 20 minutes through out that day( who said vsnc message hisss). It wasn’t that serious now, but na wa o, a whole agbaya like me wan just faint like that..

I think Mr Sean and HGF( his girlfriend) are going through some minor problems.. hopefully they sort themselves out. All I did was play his game all day. Ehen before I forget Mr Sean has been staring at my boobies these dayz o. At first I thought it was nothing, but the guy will just stare at them continuously for minutes. I have to cross my arms on my chest constantly. I asked him once what he was doing, he said he was thinking about something( so na my boobies you dey use take dey think now abi). Abeg that one is his wahala, e go tire to look one day.

I just finished one hard exam today, but I know I did well(amen o). This chic just copied everything I wrote.. I looked at her, the chic looked back at me… straight in my eyes and continued what she was doing . see boldness to spy another person work.( I no just get power, make she copy jo)

Let me gist you guyz about Mercedes. We have 4 dogs in naija, but only one of them stands out( Mercedes). Mercedes is an Alsatian breed( our first dog), the finest dog in the bunch. Well when Mercedes was a puppy, my brothers used to give him brandy and beer( star, guilder, small stout). Everybody liked Mercedes, he was friendly, obedient and he knew several tricks until one fateful day.

I was playing chess outside with my cousin one afternoon, there was no light in the house( you know NEPA now) and it was kind of hot, so we decided to play the game outside and the weather not bad outside. Anyhow we were playing chess and I think Mercedes was out of his cage, running around the compound. My cousin called Mercedes a couple of times, he didn’t answer. My cousin walked towards Mercedes, he stopped shaking his tail.. looked at my cousin differently and chased my cousin around the house. I even left the chess board outside and ran inside the house. We were kind of surprised, Mercedes has never acted that way before.. We later found out that the alcohol my brothers gave him when he was puppy was affecting his brain. The vet said the dog has a minor mental problem( no mind the thief doctor, how dog take dey get mental problem again. ). My cousin said the dog was bi-polar… I have to agree with him

We observed Mercedes for a while and noticed if he starts acting funny and we ignored him, he comes back to his normal state or whatever that is.. Anyway there was the chief that comes to see my dad, with his agbada and walking stick. The guy liked Mercedes, he used to bring suya for the dog sef( you can imagine we never chop suya, na dog dem dey give suya chop hissss). The chief did not know that Mercedes has become bi-polar over night. Chief told us to let his friend out of the cage ( for some reason everybody forget to tell chief say our dog don dey kolo small small). He gave the dog the suya, Mercedes chop suya finish lick mouth, then he started acting funny again. All I saw was this big chief with his big belly bouncing everywhere, running inside the house, he left his walking stick outside and his agbada had several bite marks. The chief was shaking, sweating and cursing.. that was the last we saw of him. He never stepped foot in our house, my dad went to his house instead. He said Mercedes needs deliverance. The dog tormented a lot of people sha…

The recent one I heard yesterday was that my grandma( the one from my other post) is looking for someone to kill the dog, my brother said the dog tore one of her new wrappers.( and you know now, old women don’t joke with their wrappers).. she said is either someone kills the dog or she will do it herself. Mercedes don do pass himself..

Congratulations to Our very own Gee.. She is now a Bachelor holder ( it is not an easy something o) more grease to your elbows chica and good luck to those who have exams. God will see you through….

I was tagged by the beautiful bob ij on the crazy 8 meme.

8 Things I look forward to

1. Getting a Tylenol, motrin or panadol for this annoying headache
2. Finishing school
3. Going to Naija on December
4. Our summer road trip
5.Getting my buju banton CD from my cousin
6. Getting my next pay check 
7. Going to church this Sunday
8.Hanging out with my family

8 Things I did yesterday

1. Spoke to my brother from naija
2. Did a little work out
3. Ate a very delicious moin moin my mum cooked
4. Studied like crazy for my exams
5. Got another text message from my unknown admirer( I tire oo)
6.Went out with VSNC( my twin)
7.Did another meme( 100 truth). I was also tagged
8. Stalking people’s blog

8 Things I wish to do

1. Go back in time
2. Win the lottery
3.Get something for this headache
4.Go to Naija every month( yea right)
5. Sleep regularly
6.Exercise frequently..
7.Go to church every Sunday
8. See my family all at the same place

8 shows I watch

1. lie to me
2.one tree hill
3. house
4. half and hald
5. eve
6.ANTM ( my brother hates the show…lol)
7. American idol
8.supernatural

8 Bloggers tagged
1. Bibi
2. Buttercup
3.Abeni
4. Gee
5. L-VII
I need to tag some guyz now
6. scribbles
7. Roc
8. Dante

I need to take something for this headache o, seriously…..

Have a wonderful week people

DRIVING LESSIONS

2009-04-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

My dad just got back from work, he was in the parlor reading The Guardian( a newspaper). It was about 6:00pm, so the sun was still setting. I was 15 going on 16, done with high school, so I had a long break, trying to prepare for JAMB. This was my third time that week of asking my dad the same favour over and over again.( I can be a pest when I really want something). I entered the sitting room and said my greetings. He replied, but he never took his eyes off the paper. I tried to get his attention

BSNC: daddy I love your new shoes, where did you get them from. Have you eaten today, I can get something for you. What are reading….. ( I got tired of asking questions). Daddy, daddy…. daddy!!!

Dad: For Christ sake bsnc, what do you want? Can’t you see am tired (he finally put down the news paper)

BSNC: Daddy I have been asking you for this little favour since last week. I want to learn how to drive. I have so much time on my hands now. I just want to learn how to drive

Dad: you are too young. How many girls your age do you see driving a car.. ehh?

BSNC: but da…

Dad: I said no. If you want to go out, tell your brothers or better still tell my driver.

BSNC: daddy is not fair oo. Shey its because am a girl… baby ( my younger brother) can drive, but I can’t.. Why.. . Its not like am asking you for a car even though you brought cars for my brothers when they graduated from high school. This world is so unfair, there is no justice. Women are always treated like second class citizen. You are a lawyer now, you should know all this ( I was not backing down this time)

Dad: he took one look at me, he started to frown, but he couldn’t hold back the laughter that came out. My goodness bsnc when did you become a lawyer?

BSNC: I was frowning and sulking so hard, I felt a headache coming. I refused to answer him, instead I crossed my arms and grumbled under my breath..

Dad: okay okay fine. I will tell my driver to teach or do you want one of brothers to help you

BSNC: I was so happy. Yes I won, but I didn’t want to sound too excited. I thought about it, my dad’s driver is one old guy that like preaching to everybody whenever he finds the opportunity, not that am the devil or anything, but I was not in that mood. I chose one of my brothers who treat me like a gem

My journey of driving began. We drove in this big school compound(me, my sis and two of my brodas). I wanted to use my dad’s car because it was automatic, but my bro says we have to learn with the manual first( it was so hard, why can’t I just use the automatic and make life easy for everybody). I always forget to press the clutch and change the gear. My sister has already picked up within 4 days. I was still moping around

Brown skin brother 1(the one teaching us to drive): Don’t worry you will get it. Take your time.

BSB 2: The girl go just spoil your car before this week end.

BSB 1: abeg leave her jo. She no be VSNC. She will get it

I was getting frustrated. I was trying my best and BSB 2 was making the situation worse, haba( who even send him to follow us sef hisss). Two days later I got it , by this time my sister could drive home. I move one step and she is two steps ahead of me. Anyhow my bro was like shey you know you are driving us home today. Who me, No, please I don’t think I’m ready. My brother; don’t worry you will be okay. I am here, trust me

We sha argued for 20 minutes. after which I summoned up courage and agreed to drive. I was so scared, my hands were sweaty, I could you hear the sound of my heart beat. I said a silent prayer and began my quest.

The distance from the school to my house was about 15 minutes. I felt so good, i couldn’t believe I was the one driving. Six blocks away from my house and the unexpected happened. The road to my house is very narrow, so if a big car is passing, the other car has to wait and vice versa. I know everybody in our area 13 blocks away, we are like one big enormous family. I was driving with one hand( I know lol am a big show off), everybody was waving at me and they were like can you see, bsnc is driving. I turned the music up, I was feeling like a roc star. Wyclef was blaring on the sterio “Enemies.. on the borderline, who be the next to fire.. 41 shot by diallo side. He said he rips sir, but he didn’t have no peace, but now he rest in peace, in the valley of the beast…. Diallo diallo”….( I love that song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Itu-vykAZE

Where did I stop again? Ehen anyways I was six blocks away from my house and I saw the trailer( lorry..lol) coming and he was coming fast. I looked at my brother. He says bsnc pass now. I looked at him, looked at the trailer, looked at my sister, put the car on park.. opened the door and ran away( when I think of it now, I felt so stupid).i heard him calling, but I didn’t turn back. I just kept on running till I got home.

He got home 5 minutes later. I heard him calling me, heard him shouting my name. I was with my dad by this time ( I knew he couldn’t to anything to me). He came in, saw me and my dad. He gave me the dagger look; I must admit I have never seen my bro that angry before. I tried to apologize, but before I could say anything the insults just started pouring out from his mouth. I felt so bad, my dad was even angry with me. Do you want to kill your sister and your brother, how could you leave them like that. I wasn’t thinking straight that was the first thing that popped out of my head. My brother didn’t speak to me for a whole day( I cried all day, I felt so helpless), but he later spoke to me and told me he forgave me. After which he insisted I should never drive again

I knew before they told me, my driving days were over. I didn’t get behind the wheels again until two years later. We laugh about it now, but when I think about it now. All I can say is what was I thinking.. Did I mention am a good driver now, even though my mum can’t stand my driving. According to her I drive like a mad woman..lol , interpretation; I drive too fast. I drive too fast, but I have not gotten any ticket yet. (5 miles above the speed limit is too fast for her)

Hope a lovely day or night or better still have a lovely week

SAD YET NICE

2009-04-14T08:51:00.000-07:00

Hello people. Hope your week has been going as planned. I want to use this opportunity to thank you guyz for the birthday wishes, you all are far too kind. Most of you think i had double the fun because my day was on Easter day. Well try zeroing the fun, not even a tea spoon of it.

I had to work all day long. Mr. Sean (my patient) was not happy all day, so he was kind of moody. At first, i was like i should be the miserably one. I later found out that he was expecting some of his family members to come celebrate Easter with him, but they back off at the last minute with their flimsy excuses. Even HGF (his girlfriend) did not show up, so it was a drama free day. I felt sorry for him. I joked about the pathetic day i was having also and we both agreed I deserved the award for the miserable one. I tried to make light of the situation; we talked, watched a couple of movies and played his game. It wasn't a good or a bad day, just an okay day.

I got home later that day; everyone gave me their hugs and presents. We just had a little family dinner which was really nice. I was taken by surprise when I checked my phone, I have never seen so many missed calls, text messages and voice mails in my life( I guess because I couldn’t answer most of the calls). Then I checked face book and blogville,( the icing on the cake). You guyz really made my day worthwhile. I’m really thankful

My little LOL present. Enjoy………

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.

"Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television.

"And, most importantly make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.

Have a Blessed week

MY DAY

2009-04-12T04:21:00.000-07:00

Hello people. Happy Easter to everybody, wait um yea HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME(US). I said i'm not going to fuss today. I want to Thank God for adding another year to my(our) life. Its a priviledge to share the same day with easter day.

I also want to wish the April babies a happy birthday again either belated or advance

afrobabe

aloted

repressed one

enkay

ex-school nerd

Gee

Loila

BrownSugar

Luscious Ron

Thats the few i can remember( sory)

A little something to make you guyz smile. Enjoy!

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.

The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.

After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"

GOOD FRIDAY

2009-04-10T04:10:00.000-07:00

How are you guyz doing today.. Don't forget,no meat today. In naija i happen to eat suya almost every good friday( devil's work).I don't just understand it. why do i feel the urge to eat meat that particular day, beats me. Alot of people have been thinking of quiting blogville, please you guyz should not leave o. i don't want to enjoy it here alone

i got tagged by the wonderful buttercup. what she doesn't know is that we both have the same first letter of our names, so all i have to do is copy and paste....lol. Na i wouldn't do that.

*Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
*They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers.
*You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
* Dont google ur answers.
*Make it as interesting and fun as you can.

ENJOY!

1. What is your name: Brownskinaijachic

2. A four Letter Word: Burn

3. A boy's Name: Brad

4. A girl's Name: Buttercup

5. An occupation: Banker

6. A color: Brown

7. Something you'll wear: Boot

9. A food: Beef

10. Something found in the bathroom: Brush

11. A place: Boston

12. A reason for being late: Blogging..lol

13. Something you'd shout: Bastard

14. A movie title: Beauty and the Beast

15. Something you drink: Brandy

16. A musical group: Boys 2 men( one of my fav gp)

17. An animal: Bettle

18. A street name: Bo street

19. A type of car: Baby Benz

20. The title of a song: Baby i love you.. J.Lo

you guyz should feel free to tag yourself..

you know i have to leave you with a little something. Enjoy!!

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.' To which the little girl replies,

'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh***t?

Happy good friday and happy Easter in advance

THANKFUL MEME

2009-04-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

hey my fellow blogville peeps. thanks alot for yesterday. you guyz lifted my spirit. i don't even know why i was sulking yesterday. VSNC(my sis) was like she is still going to celebrate her bday on Sunday. i was going to slap her o, but that girl don beat me twice before( when we were younger).. as in better one. I am not messing with her that chic take style Strong o.

yea did you guyz watch the match,thank God Arsenal didn't lose o. If i was watching the match in 9ja , there will be enough drinks and suya to go round. i never liked soccer before, but my dad use to say if you are not watching the match no suya for you and everybody in my house is a big time soccer fan. i had no choice, but to like the game that suya cannot pass me by( say wetin happen). i still don't know what is happening, VSNC keeps me updated( she is a soccer fanatic).

Well i said i was going to join on the thankful post meme , so here it goes

I am thankful for having God in my life. he has always been there. don't think i can say the same, but am getting there.

I am thankful for my family, every single one of them including some of extended fam.

I am thankful for good health. i have not been sick as long as i can remember

I am thankful for my friends. Most of them has always been there for me. i appreciate you guyz alot

I am thankful for who i am. There are billions of people in this world, but there is only one me( nothing do me jo).

I am thankful for God's favour and blessings in my life

i am thankful for my fellow bloggers. i learn something new from each and everyone of you everyday. i won't call names, but some of una spoil sha. chei

the list goes on and on. its easy to be thankful for the good things

***********************************************************************************

i just had to leave you guyz with a little something something to make you smile.. enjoy

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes : "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM: "I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!!!!

ITS NOT FAIR, BUT ITS ALL GOOD

2009-04-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

hey people.. hope your week has been going as planned. I am not happy . Remember from my last post i told you guyz my colleague is going to work for me on my birthday. Well she finally called me and told me she had no idea it was the same day as Easter day, so she can't help me. We talked about it last month and she agreed. I still can't believe i be working on my birthday/Easter day. Its not fair, but its okay. I guess my sister will celebrate our birthday alone. At least someone is celebrating it. lucky her

I was going through my joke file today. i look at it every now and then to make me laugh. i came across this one and i thought it was funny, its kind of old though. enjoy

There were these three men who got lost on an island. So it happened that the people who live on the island were cannibals and so they captured these three men. When they caught them, they told them that they were going to eat them, but the men started pleading for their lives, the people decided to give each of them a chance to live. They told the three men to go into the forest and look for any fruit they can find and bring it back to them. The three men went on searching for fruit, the first man came back wit some apples and gave it to the cannibals, he was so happy he thought he was free to go, but the cannibals were like ,there's still a test, they were like we're going to have to stick this up your ass first but if u scream or make any sound, we're will kill u, he agreed and they put the first apple in his ass, he endured that one, but the second one was painful, so he screamed and they killed him.

Not long after the first one died, the second one came in with some cherries, they told him about the test and he was like okay. So they put the first cherry in his ass, second, third, fourth……….. He was almost done with his test, when all of a sudden he burst out laughing, and they killed him for that. After he died and then got to heaven, he saw the first man they killed, and his friend was like, " what happened mehn, u almost got it and why the hell did u have to laugh", the second man replied saying "dude, I saw the third man and he was carrying pineapples".

ME AND MY JOB

2009-04-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

hey everybody. hope everybody is fine. i am glad you guyz liked the joke, i think i will make it a regular thing. you guyz know its monday, so i have to blog about work

Work was kind of different this week(is it not always). As i stepped into Mr Sean(my patient). i heard him say is that BSNC, like who would it be before. he knows i work during the weekend. Anyways i entered his room and was about to say my hellos

BSNC: Mr Sean how are..

Mr Sean: hey sweetie i have been waiting for this weekend all week( wait did this guy just say sweetie)

BSNC: i don't understand. why have you been...( he never lets me finish my sentence)

Mr Sean: i just brought this new game dear and nobody has been able to play it with me

BSNC: ohh i see( i still no understand all this endearment o)

Mr Sean: can you just hook up the game. i want us to play it now

BSNC: you are sure. you don't want to do anything first( i was happy o. another game playing day, but you know now. i can't just show it like that)

Mr Sean: yes dear.. Ms BSNC i am sure( i thought he forgot my name)

We have been playing the game for 5 hours( i managed to feed and clean him up within this time). The door bells rings, yea most of you can guess who it was( who else will it be)HGF.. Mr Sean's girlfriend. i opened the door and let her in

HGF: hey baby, how are you doing today

BSNC: i am fine thank you( baby, hm mm i don't understand this people today o)

HGF: how are you doing?. how was your weekend. Is this a new scrub. it looks good on you. where is Mr Sean

BSNC: em er he is inside( i couldn't answer her questions. i was still surprised)

She went to his room. they talked for about 30 minutes. she told me to continue the game i was playing.

BSNC: for real. you know i could do something else

HGF: its okay. when you play the game it makes him happy and that makes him happy. i could help you with something if you want.

i was like okay where is the camera. am i been punk'd. The lady was full of surprises today. i sha continued playing the game, less than an hour the door bell rings again. i opened the door and who was on the other side.. none other than LL cool j- lip licking-intense eye staring cousin(Mr Sean's cousin). we said our hellos and he went to Mr Sean's room

We are all in the room and am still playing the game since that's all Mr Sean wants me to do( lol... lucky me i know). Mr Sean was telling his cousin how good i was witht the game

Cousin: she is cute, she cooks and clean and she plays PS3.. Can you marry me

BSNC: err let me think about it... NO

Cousin: and she is funny too. okay if she is that good as you claim. am going to play the Mortal Kombat game with her

BSNC: i don't really know how to play that game..( yea rite. i used to play that game with my brothers when we had SEGA, not even play station sef and one of my brothers have all the moves in one note book like that.( you know the forward forward X something like that), so i can play pretty well).

We played the game, i beat him the first couple of rounds and he claims he made me win. he got serious and still i won..lol

BSNC: in your face( i don't know why i said that.. i was so happy i won)

Cousin: and what a face. A chic who beats me in a game, now you have to marry me.

HGF was even happy for me. she was like yayy girl power and she Hi5 me. the cousin was like okay she is kind of good i give it to her. Mr Sean told me to get him another game from his storage him at the basement. It was getting late and i don't really like going there when its dark. His cousin told me he would go with me if i don't mind. Although me and his cousin are not on the same page, i had no choice but to let him come with me. at least i kind of know him and that place is kind of scary)

We were looking for the game downstairs and this guy was trying to get fresh with me. i tried to ignore him, but the guy no gree o. i just left him there, went back to Mr Sean's apartment and him i didn't find the game. The cousin came back two minutes later telling Mr Sean i didn't look for the game and he wanted us to check at another corner of the room because he is sure he saw it there( if he knows its there, why does he need me now. see me see wahala). i just stood there, quietly looking at his cousin. i know i wasn't going anywhere.

After arguing for like 7 minutes with Mr Sean. HGF finally said she will go with Mr Sean's cousin. The guy looked at me, smiled and walked away with HGF. HGF told me i could leave early because she will be there for a while. While i was leaving, the cousin told me to think of his proposal. like that's what i would do all week.

My work was wonderful this week. i think its going to be a good month. i am keeping my fingers crossed because i don't want to work on my birthday. i will hear from my colleague today, she says she might work for me that day..

Have a wonderful week. palm Sunday, good Friday and Easter...

LOL pt 2

2009-04-03T04:01:00.000-07:00

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said,"You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, ly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh? "She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, cutie pie?

.."LISTEN UP, D*CKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F**KING BEER IN YOUR GOD D*MN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHER F**KING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, YOU SELFISH BASTARD. YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, A**HOLE?"

........and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

have a wonderful weekend guyz

YOU KNOW MY P

2009-04-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

You should know me P, know where i be, you should know about me. there call me BSN C 2x..you know my P, you know my P. my name is BSN C.. lol( okay i just felt like saying that, after all its the title).. what does that P thing mean sef

Thanks for the comments from the last post and thanks to all my followers. you guyz are more than too much. I just want to clarify something. There is no 1969 story, i wanted to do the april fools thing to roc. I just read vera's own, wow that girl is good o chei. She got me big time, but i refuse to slap myself sha..lol

Yesterday was a very long day for me o. From my last post i told you guyz about something my brother told me about this computer virus thing on april 1st. Turned out to be true. it was everywhere on the news, so i didn't go on the computer through out yesterday( it was not an easy something). Let me gist you guyz about the thing. its not actually a virus par say. They call it conflicker computer worm,It can be used to attack as well as to spy. It can destroy files, it can connect to addresses on the Internet and it can forward your e-mail.Conficker, believed to reside on 2 million to 12 million computers worldwide, is designed to turn an infected PC into a slave that responds to commands sent from a remote server that controls an army of slave computers known as a botnet. it was suppose to lauch on wednesday( i know you guyz are already yawning now.. wake up jo), so my fellow bloggers this one no be april fool o.

Yesterday was long o. i wanted to browse in the morning, i saw this big paper plastered all over the computer saying" BSCN don't touch the computer"..lol. shoo why did they put my name now. i guess my mum did that( i blame them, dem don see me finish now..). i tried to watch a movie, it was too boring. i wanted to go see my aunt, Nightrider started misbehaving again. i called my brother, we both went to the mechanic,they fixed it, took about an hour. Thank God i had classes yesterday, but the class finish now.when i came back the computer was just staring at me( see temptation o). i sha tried to keep myself busy; i watched don't forget the lyrics on NTA( yes we have nta o). it was kind of interesting, but the show finished too. Still this computer was staring at me o. i was like no be me and you today( if computer crash now.. wetin i go do). all because my lappy got spoilt.

I called bibi( yea me and bibi are close friends.i could bet you guyz had no idea,we both went to uniben and here we are in yankee again.. did i forget to mention she is seriously crushing on scribbles..lol).

BSNC:Bibi how far what is happening in blog village(the babe was just laughing at me)

bibi:BSNC na wa for you o.. Blogville virus don catch you..

BSNC: okay i agree, so wetin dey happen now, gist me(blogville you see what you are doing to me)

bibi: i will call you back am kind of busy. am at work ( this babe no call me till 4-5 hours later.. hisss)

anyhow i was okay. nothing do me. my mum came back from work. hope you didn't touch the computer o. me, after plastering my name there why would i touch it.. she started her own story about the virus thing(like say i never hear am reach for news). anyways my brother came back from work. i was so happy(at least the one dey check computer everyday too), so we just talked for like 2 hours about random things. i was like ehen abeg i wan use your computer o. my brother lets call him brownskinaijaboy(BSNB)

BSNB: did you not hear what they said in the news. we should not on the computer today(he didn't not know before, it was my other brother that told us). wetin you wan use am for sef

BSNC: em em er i wan i want to do my assignment( i really had an assignment, but i wanted to just check blogville too)

BSNB: i need to on this computer bcos i have to check somethings too( i was smiling now)

BSNC: okay when you are done.. tell me

This boy decided to change his mind again. i chased this boy and his laptop around the house for like 30 minutes. i got tired and sat on the stairs. i was like i don't want you laptop again, abeg wetin sef. BSNB sat next to me and embraced me.. oo my poor sister is addicted to the internet. i just stood up, looked at him, hissed and walked away. Even my mum and VSNC were laughing at me( i didn't find it funny o).

Bibi later called me sha and told me what was happening here after like 4 hours. i still don't think am addicted to the internet. i'm just used to it, or am i addicted. i don't know again jo. Did i tell you guyz bibi has a crush on scibbles.. ok o. she thinks i'm crushing on another blogger, yea rite. na she sabi and before i forget Happy birthday Afrobabe!!!!!!.. i have not still seen my cake o. still waiting

Wish you guyz a wonderful week ahead and yea my birthday( i mean our brithday, me and VSNC) is coming up too. yay

I NO WANT

2009-03-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

ohhh i don't like this thing oo. i just finished writing what i wanted to post, but i can't find it again.Yesterday i had to post in the bathroom, now this. which kind witch be these. Now i have to start writing again. anyhow i don't mind, but na wa oo. this blogging to turn to home work. next time i will write things up and save them.

how are you guyz doing now. hope everybody is fine. thank you guyz for the comments from the last post. one of my brother's told me a disturbing news yesterday. i don't know how true it is, but he heard it on the news. he said i should not use the computer tomorrow because they is one virus thing that will affect people's computer on April ist. like i said i don't know how true. just wanted to tell you guyz.

i read bibi's post about lesbians. i wanted to share my own experience.although i don't see what is wrong if someone calls their mum mummy(bibi i no understand your own o). i entered boarding school when i was in JSS 1, an all girls school. i have never cried so much in my life. my mum said she wanted us to learn about life outside the comfort of our home. my dad didn't want us(me and my sister) to go, as par us being the only girls. i grew up with alot of guyz(brother and cousin), just thinking of them. that is another story.. my dad was soo sad, i could see it in his eyes( i come add my own dey cry like hyena).funny enough my sister was happy, i didn't understand o. okay back to the story

In my segment(that's what they call the room) we have 16 beds, 8 on each row and each of the bed has a bunk(one bed up, the other one down), so we were 32 in a room( the room was spacious sha, so no think say na over population). anyhow my bunk mate was my closest friend then. my sister was in the same building with me, but her room was at the other side of the building.

anyhow i was very close to the girl o. lets call her simbi( like ali and simbi goes to school.. lol). until i started hearing rumours about simbi. BSNC did you hear that simbi and so so are doing this, simbi and so so are doing that. i was like my own simbi.. that is a lie jo. anyways first semester nothing happened. second semester this girl started behaving strangely towards me. at first i was like maybe i am imagining thing. she will do things like hug me soo close, peck me, tell me how beautiful i look(okay that is not bad sha, i gree i fine sha..lol). i woke up one day and i caught her smiling and staring at me. i didn't think it was anything. after all she is one of my close friends. i told my sister about it. lets call my sister vanilla skin naija chic VSNC

VSNC: i don't like that girl o. there is something about her

BSNC: please leave her alone. she is my friend, go and find your own friend jo

VSNC: you no dey ever hear word

BSNC: eh lemme alone. i no even know why i tell u sef. hisssss

VSNC: okay oo, na you sabi. i have said my own

BSNC: eh thank you very much madam.

i was sleeping one day when i heard my sister shouting at someone. i was like VSNC what is it again person no fit sleep in peace ahh ahh. she just looked at me and hiss.

VSNC: you just dey sleep like say tomorrow no dey. see wetin this idoit been dey do(simbi)

BSNC: what is it again.( i looked at simbi she just looked away, then i looked at my sister)

VSNC: i came to collect milk from your locker(she had my keys) to eat corn flake when i see this idoit touching your breast. i told you i don't like this girl before

BSNC: simbi is that true( i don't sleep deep o, i was wondering why i didn't feel anything sef).

simbi: no no i swear i didn't do anything o(she puts her finger on the ground, then on her tougue, then to the sky.. u know how people swear those dayz now). i saw something on your dress i was trying to remove it when your sister came

I didn't even think twice i knew simbi was lying. my sister will never lie to me(she is my blood now). i felt so bad because i was close to her(simbi). me and my sister threatened to report her to our administrator. simbi then confessed how she liked me from the day she first saw me and she taught i felt the same way blah blah blah( i was like for JSS 1 again, i thought they only see this things in america film). after that incident, we still talked but we were never close again. she left the school the next semester.

Another incident happened in the same school when i was in JSS3. there was this senior(SS3 student) that was always buying me stuff. i thought she liked my brother because she was among the numerous girls that wanted to be my friend because of my brother( yea the guy is kind of cute, but i don't know what the fuss is all about), anyway she was always buying stuff, seniors didn't pick on me when she was around. Until one day( suddenly suddenly like dbanj) she told me to follow her to her dormitory. we got there and we entered her room. luckily for me, she and my neigbour(another senior) stayed in the same room. my neigbour told me to leave the room and go outside with her..( at first i didn't move. i was like i am here with my friend now), but when she told me the second time and with the look on her face, i followed her outside and she told me she never want to see me with that girl again or she will report me to my mum

BSNC: report me for what now. what did i do

neigbour: that girl is a lesbian o. do you know how many junior she brings to her room to experiment with..

BSNC: this is not happening again..( wetin na only me dem see) but she knows my dormitory, my room, the time i leave for classes, the time i have breaks( and VSNC warned me about her too. i don't know how she knows all this things)

neigbour: don't worry i will deal with her. just walk away now as am looking at you

i didn't only walk away. i ran to my sister's room and told her what happened.

VSNC: don't worry eh nobody will try anything when am here(that my sister too much oo, i felt better after that)

i don't know what my neigbour told her, but i didn't hear from her again. they were couple of other episodes when i was in the university(in naija), but my brothers dealt with them. one even promised to take me to yankee( like say no be the yankee i dey now.. hisss nonsense). the matter tire me o. the boys toasting me was not enough, girls one add their own join...

roc i know you were expecting the 1969 story..lol, that was the story that vanished(so no be my fault o)

have a wonderful week people and stay blessed

JOB ENIGMA

2009-03-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

My fellow blogville citizens how are you guyz doing. I hope your week has been wonderful.. thanks for the comments from the last post, am glad you guyz liked the joke.

I have been trying to update for 2 hours now. My name is just sweet in everybody’s mouth today. BSNC please help me do this, BSNC help me do that, BSNC can you get me something from the store blah blah. You guyz would not believe, am blogging from the bathroom now(wetin blogging no go cause) because that is the only place I can blog with no disturbance.

Anyhow let me gist you guyz about work .. work was okay I guess. I went to work this weekend again. When I got there Mr Sean( my patient) was sleeping ,so I just arranged his apartment a little. I was still doing the chores when the door bell rang. I really did not think it was HGF because she normally stops by in the afternoon, but you guessed right it was HGF. I let her in and she went straight to Mr Sean’s room, she didn’t even reply my hello. Na wa o( those of you who don’t know HGF is my patient’s(Mr. Sean) girlfriend. She is always on my case, thus the name Hater Girlfriend .. HGF)

She woke him up and the guy asked for me.

Mr. Sean: why didn’t you wake me up when you got here.

BSNC: I didn’t want to wake you up, besides I was cleaning up your apartment

Mr. Sean: ohh that’s so sweet of you and you look nice today.

HGF: yea you do look kind of nice today(she rolled her eyes).

BSNC: thanks ( I took my braid off and did a little something something to my hair…)

I was smiling, but when I looked at HGF(she was just frowning) ,so I quickly erased my smile( I no fit for her wahala abeg) and left them in the room. I could hear what they were saying from the other room..

HGF: I was the one who woke you up, a simple hello would have been nice

Mr. Sean: ohh am so sorry. How are you doing today. I thought you were coming in the evening

HGF: I came early to see you and this is the thank you I get.., so I don’t look good. Its okay

Then they were talking about something else.( thank God they left my topic today). They were there for about an hour. Mr. Sean told me he was ready to eat, as i was feeding him HGF bought her own spoon too.

BSNC: do you want to feed him

HGF: No you go ahead

BSNC: but you bought another spoon to feed him

HGF: yea we can feed him together

Which kind wahala be this now. The guy did not even say anything sef. I guess he was enjoying the attention. She was just on my case sha. She was there all day, so I could not play his game. The day was sooo long. At the end of the day, she was trying to be nice to me ( I was honestly surprised o)

HGF: I know you may think I am giving you a rough time

BSNC: no its okay. I understand

HGF: you don’t understand. I want to help him in anyway I can. I don’t mean to get in your way. I wish I could be with him and help him all day. You look like a good person, but I want to be there for him too…..( when she was saying all this, all I could think of was the p-square and j martins song “if you like you good o, if you like you bad oo.anything wey you do for this life…" You know how the song goes) and I just smiled. I told her it was okay

Hopefully she will continue with this altitude and let me do my job in peace. I think our prayers is working(those people who prayed for me).

Nightrider is back . I miss him so much. I have not driven him in a while(nightrider is my car o,). although he has not fully recovered, at least he is back. Yea my mum helped me.

Today is my brother’s Bday..yayyy. Thank God for adding another year to his life. My brother is not happy with me o. he says I spend too much time on the internet these days( all for blogging).. I wanted to blog about something, just can’t remember… anyhow have a nice week people and happy new month in advance( hopefully nobody will do april fool for me, I always fall for it)

LOL

2009-03-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

okay i was not going to post today, but here i am. i saw this jokes somewhere i thought they were funny, so i decided to share. Enjoy

At A World Women's Conference the first speaker, from England, stood up:

"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands.

Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself.

After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb." The crowd cheered.

The second speaker, from America, stood up:

"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.

After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well." The crowd cheered.

The third speaker, from Nigeria, stood up:

"After last year conference I go house and tell my husband that I no go do im cooking, cleaning or go market for am again, and dat he go dey do am imsef.

After the first day i no see anytin, the second day sef, I see notin. But after the third day, as the swelling begin go down, I start to see small small from my left eye.

*************************************************************************************

The youngest son in a family asked his father: "Daddy, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'? Dad: "I will show you." He turned to his wife and asked: "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for two million dollars?" Wife: "Yes. I would never waste such an Opportunity to become a millionaire." Then dad turned to his daughter: "Would you sleep with Will Smith for 1 million dollars?" Daughter: "Yes. That is my fantasy." Dad turned to his older son: "Would you sleep with Denzel Washington for 1 million dollars?" Son: "Yes! Imagine what I would do with $1 million." Then Dad concluded by telling his youngest son: "You see, "potentially", we are sitting on $4 million. But in "reality" we are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay dude. Did that answer your question?."

thanks for the comments from the last post.Have a wonderful week(what is left of it)

HONEST SCRAP MEME (i got tagged, so here it goes)

2009-03-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

I got tagged by SMF on the Honest Scrap Meme. I know you guyz don’t really know much about me because I talk about my job, nightrider and random stuff, but you will know in time.

Hope this gives you guyz an ideal who BSNC is. Well here it goes;

1. I can be very shy or I can be a talkative, depends on who I am with. For some reason most people think I am this shy quiet innocent girl( I guess i am 71.8% innocent, ok how did I come up with that figure) who doesn’t know anything. I play along sometimes though

2. I am one of the most patient people I know( I wonder who I inherited that from).

3. I don’t easily get angry, but when I do.. trust me it is not a good sight. I don’t like me when I am angry. I have been really angry three times in my life( or so I think)

4. I love children. I cant help it I just love them( especially the babies). I can't wait to have my own one day

5. I just realized that I cant please everybody. My dad once told me if you want to please everybody, just know you will die early and there is this quote I saw somewhere “I don’t know the secret to success, but I know the secret to failure; trying to please everybody. Something like that

6. I don’t like it when people compare me with my twin sister( yes I have a twin, fraternal). Yes we are from the same womb, yes we were born the same day, but we are two different people… get over it

7. I have had a crush on almost all my brother’s friends at a point in my life, but now I see them as family. I love boys I can’t help it. i grew up with alot of them

8. I have had infatuation, crushes…. But I have never been in love(or have i?). I read it in novels, watch it in movies, feel and see it around me. One day I know I will find it because I love love. Like celindion says “love comes to those who believe it and that’s the way it is”

9. I love music. I can’t go a day without listening to one. Just name it R&B, pop, soft rock, oldies, hip pop and of course my African music too

10. I am very playful and I have a wonderful sense of humor. People say I play too much , but I can be very serious when I want to be..

11. I am glad I found out about blog Ville. I love it here. It is really nice and you guyz are just too much( for real)

I guess that is a little bit of BSNC. I have to tag 7 people that has not been tagged before.. hmm let me see.. Fashinga, Gee, sirus, funms -the rebirth, Miss FlyHigh – LondonsNaijaQueen, Capuccin Baby, omo oba, Nigeria fetish, lolia, mocha, seye..(okay how many is that. I no no how to count again)

Happy birthday Fashinga!!!!!!!

GRANDMA GOES TO YANKEE

2009-03-24T14:14:00.000-07:00

I hope everybody’s week is flourishing and going smoothly. Thank you guyz for all the comments, I’m humble and remain loyal and also a special thanks to YNB (yankeenaijababe) for the welcoming newbie post (that is blogbite like me).. I wish I could give everybody a hug.. you guyz can have the cookie on the blog table; cabin biscuit, nasco, long life, choco milo, ribena, goldpot, mirinda, limca…. The choose is your choice, no fighting o.

I just got off the phone with my grandma (paternal). We talked about random stuff; school, job, weather, boys( she has hooked me up with almost all her friend’s grandchildren. I guess she has given up on me because she barely talk about them anymore), … we just talked sha. I know you guyz are wondering why I am talking about my grandma now. Well she left yankee recently and I wanted to share the story of her trip…

Her journey from naija to London was cool(she was travelling with my dad), no problems or immigration wahala, you know how niaja be now, once there is money there is a way. She carried enough naija assortments; yam, egusi, ogbono, cray fish, snail… just name it (even gala sef). For some strange reason she decided to put the yam in her hand luggage (don’t ask me why). Anyhow that was how they got to America; my grandma was so excited she has never seen so many whites in one place. Usually once you say you are from Nigeria and you bring all them goodies, the immigration in yankee must stop you. They took my dad and grandma to one of their office:

Dad: Mama no worry I go take care of this no just say anything you hear

Grandma: if dem ask me question I go talk now

Immigration officer(I.O): Can I see your passports and tell me what is inside that bag

Dad: Here you go( gives him the passports). It is just some things my mum bought for my sista from home.

Grandma: wetin im talk about my bag, I count everything there if anything miss eh

Dad: Mama im no talk to you now

I.O: who is the woman with you, I want her to sign in that paper

Dad: she is my mum. She is an illiterate, so she can’t really read or write

Grandma: who is illiterate, you dey craze abi you chop craze, na your papa be illiterate. I don told you dat I stopping in class two. look at the small boy is cursing me ( me sef no understand the English too)

Dad: mama I dey tell you make u keep quiet u no go hear o. they go send us back to naija

Grandma: I’m flabbergast( she picked those words from home video or something), amazing grace how sweet the sound, how can…. ..

the I.O was confused, he taught my dad was being dishonest; how can you tell me your mum is an illiterate when she speaks so good English( tell me how that English good now). By this time my grandma was grinning from ear to ear. My dad somehow resolved the crisis and explained further to I.O that my grandma was only putting a show to impress them. Anyway I.O opened my grandma’s hand luggage and saw two tuber of yams, he took it out of the bag and smelled it( I no no how the thing suppose smell before ). My grandma on seeing this, took the yam from his hand, I.O took it from her hand, she took it back, he took it from her hand again. That was how my grandma removed the wrapper from her waist and tied it on her head( she was ready for the man…).

Grandma: how I go take money buy yam for my pikin(beats her hand on her chest) na this oyinbo rabbit dey put am for im nose. Na either I kill am or im kill me

Dad: mama you wan kill yourself because of yam abi. Okay I go buy you yam

Grandma: no oo I want my own yam wey I take my own money buy

I think the other I.Os had the commotion because they came over and gave my grandma’s case to an African I.O, thankfully the guy settled the matter in peace and gave my grandma her yam back. My dad was so stressed that day( no be small thing dem go through)

The 5th day in yankee my grandma starts complaining that she wants to eat oyinbo food and she insist she must order for herself.. my dad took her to McDonalds. They got inside the fast food outlet

Dad: mama wetin you wan chop, u no say u no understand this thing make I order for you

Grandma: no worry I know wetin I want.

Grandma: waiter give me that bread and fry yam

Server: you say what now

Grandma: I say I want fry yam and bread… she turns to my dad, abi this boy no dey hear word no be fry yam and bread I dey see there

Dad: mama dem dey call am another thing here( he didn’t want to laff at my grandma, so he just held himself)

Grandma: abeg give me the fry yam and bread now ahh ahh which kind person be this , then she points to the item she wants.

Server boy: ohh u mean burger and frys

Grandma: na u know I don tell u wetin I want

They sha ordered and left the place. That was how they went to several places and my grandma being stubborn as she is, made things complicated for everybody( my grandma is a sweet heart, but sometimes she can be soooo stubborn). At the end of the day she hated yankee, she wanted to go back to naija. After much fussing, she left for naija the second week with a family friend( she was suppose to stay for 2 months)

I said my paternal grandma because my maternal grandma( my grandmama for my mama side) is educated and that woman like to blow grammar anyhow chei, so my paternal grandma has a little beef with her( don’t ask me why). She is always like BSNC this your grandmama no wan hear oo. She too dey make shakara, person never see before sef. E go dey do like say e no dey shit. Meanwhile my maternal grandma has nothing, but respect for that woman. They know how to sort themselves out. My maternal grandma is coming to yankee for the first time soon, we ll see how that plays out…..

I got my first pay check today(don’t ask me how much ). I should be happy rite…. Wrong. It goes like this I had a little disagreement with my mum and I told her I ll start paying all my bills by myself out of vexation (me and my big mouth), so right now I have bills to pay, I have to send money home as par first salary( one kind family tradition). Plus I had Nightrider(my car) checked up and he needs major surgery (repairs) , I don’t know why he is doing this to me. I have planned for this pay check before. I just have to swallow my pride with a tall glass of water and talk to my mum. After all the bills and stuff I have to pay for, I’m left with $30.59 ( wetin I wan use that one do now) that is excluding nightrider own. This pride must go down my throat by force.

Wish u guyz a lovely week ahead

UNUSUAL WEEKEND

2009-03-23T08:42:00.000-07:00

have been kind of busy with work, school and other stuffs, as a result I could not update. I want to take this time to thank u guyz for all the comments; I am in awe, amazed, perlexed, flabbergasted…. Yea yea u get my point, but really thanks, you guyz rock. I also want to congratulate both the winners and nominee of NBA, everybody is a winner. I think the blog award is not complete without the ashewo category ..lol( in afrobabe words), i can only think of two contenders in that category right now; RocNaija and SMF.. or what do you guy think???

Work this weekend was different, good different.My patient, let’s call him Mr. Sean

Mr. Sean: Do you know how to play this play station games

BSNC: Not really, but I’m a fast learner( yea rite, see I grew up with a lot of guyz, brothers , cousins, uncles.. I started playing video games when I was 4 okay maybe 7)

Mr. Sean: yea a lot of the female workers don’t know how to play the game, but I thought you could play because you look young….

BSNC: Well I could play if you teach me

Mr. Sean: Thank you so much. I have not played this game in years

BSNC: it’s no problem (you know I have to act like it is only because of him I am
playing it.. meanwhile I was just thanking my lucky stars)

So I hooked up the game and took the controller. I was asking him a lot of questions like I don’t know what to do.. How do you start the game? How do you choose a player? How do you this, how do u that?.. Everybody knows how to press start in the controller, but you know I have to go with the flow. Anyhow I started playing the game and I made sure they killed my player in the first , two games after which I was playing the game like there was no tomorrow

Mr. Sean: wow you are really good. I ve not seen anybody learn a game so fast

BSNC: I told you I was a fast learner

Mr. Sean: I know you said that, but you that was fast

BSNC: yea thanks (For my mind I was like yea rite)

That was how we, I mean I played the game for 6 hours o, he didn’t eat, he refuse to answer his phone calls. I was like okay Mr. Sean you have to eat something. The way he shouted the NO ehh, I was kind of shocked ( even though I was enjoying the game too, I have to set his priorities straight.. make person no go die for my hand because of game, when they ask BSCN what happened?... I ll be like i was playing his PS3, imagine how that sounds). He sha apologized and told me that is how he gets when he is engrossed in the game. He ate something and we resumed playing the scare face only for the door bell to ring ( I had just 2 hrs before I was done for the day)

I opened the door to his girlfriends ). I let her in and flashed her my smile
Hater girlfriend(HGF): how are you doing

BSNC: I am fine ( I was happy that day, so I was smiling all day and I think she didn’t like it)

HGF: where is Mr. Sean?.. I have been calling him for the past 7 hours. Why can’t you answer the phone.. Or is that not included in your job descriptions

BSNC: he wasn’t in the mood to answer his calls

HGF: ohh really and why was that?

I just walked away from her because I didn’t want her to take away my joy that day( see me see wahala oo). She entered his room and I heard them arguing about something for like 20 minutes. Mr. Sean called me and told me to unhook the game. I did as I was told. I was still in the room when HGF told Mr. Sean; how come she is playing your PS3, is that her job description blah blah blah, I wasn’t listening
until she started using curse words on me.

Mr. Sean: she doesn’t even understand what the word means (he thinks I am like 17 or
something). Ms BSNC do you know what F-k you means

HGF: of course she knows what the hell it means. She watc…

Mr. Sean: shut up HGF I wasn’t talking to you. BSNC??

BSNC: what word fork, is it not what we use to eat with the spoon and knife..

Mr. Sean: hahahaha hehehe, you are funny you know that

Of course I know what it means now, do I look like I stay in Mars or Jupiter.. Even my 3year old cousin knows what it means. I was at my uncle’s place in naija like last year or so, I was watching a movie or something and my little cousin (angie) walked up to me:

Angie: aunty BSNC f-k you (then she giggled).

BSNC: what did you just say to me?

Angie: aunty I said f-k you ( now she was laughing)

BSNC: where did you learn that from.. Don’t ever say that word again

She decided to form a song on that word with my name. See I love children and I ll never do anything to make them sad, but the way I beat this girl eh. I pulled her jeans down and smacked her bombom. She was screaming out her lungs. Of course her parents came and I told them what happened. You wouldn’t believe what they said; she is a child now BSNC why would you beat her like that, please leave my baby for me o. I didn’t get it, was I wrong.. Should I ve let angie sing those words to my ears..
That is that sha, back to my job

Mr. Sean told me to leave the room for a second. I was happy that day, but I went home that night feeling troubled. I didn’t do anything wrong now or did i?

Meanwhile on my way Nightrider (my car) decided to give me his own wahala, the one from my job wasn’t enough for the day. I was driving home listening to Dbanj “suddenly” .. you know that song now suddenly step in the club they loving me, can’t feel the fingers rubbing…. All this happen suddenly, so suddenly. Now dem know…( who told me to play that song)when all of sudden the car slowed down to like 20 miles/ hr in a 65miles/hr range, other stuffs were blinking in the gauge meter, cars were horning behind me(God I was sooo scared).. Nightrider has never done this to me before. I spoke to nightrider and mumble a little prayer. I guessed it worked because less than 2 minutes nightrider restored to its natural state. Yes it was pretty much an unusual week..

Wish you guyz a wonderful week ahead and yay it is springgg

IS IT JUST ME OR.........

2009-03-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

Almost everybody is updating their blog like crazy. I can barely keep up(or is it a normal routine.. maybe bcos i am kind of new).Even though some bloggers like keeping us in suspense with their part one, two… or to be continued.

Bloggers like shouting first or second when they comment on a blog, no matter how hard I try am never the first on anyone’s blog. Or have I been... I don’t even know again. Plus some bloggers just take the whole commenting space; as a result we don’t know who is first, second…….( na fight lol)

Almost everybody seems to be on a diet or are about to go on a diet. I hope that works out for you guys

Almost everybody is getting married. I can’t believe the number of people that have gotten married this year, and to think it’s the beginning of the year (and this is for people I know….)

Almost every blog I have read is interesting, captivating, engrossing, fascinating, intriguing, refreshing (okay enough with the terminology)... u get my drift. I can’t get enough

Almost everybody is talking about M.I. For 5 months straight that all I hear. Okay we agree the guy is one of the best things that happen to naija music. We agree he is all that, e don doo haba..

Almost everybody is tired, leaving or deactivating their face book account (for those who have one). Face book used to be so addictive, but it doesn’t seem to make sense anymore with the changes and all..

Almost all the male naija bloggers are having major fun with different chics(maybe is the ones i happen to come across)

That is all I can think of for now. It may not all be accurate, just my observation..

IT IS WELL, JOB....

2009-03-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

This past week has been rough for me, but it is well... i just know everything will be okay. everything happens for a reason

My job this week was okay( remember from my other post; my job is just to take care of a guy, clean, feed and change him). Well this week was different because his cousin came over and he stayed with my client all day. His cousin was kind of cute( okay the guy really try), tall, dark.. yea you get the drift. The cousin was staring at me all day and licking his lips( u know like ll cool j does). I honestly thought it was offensive and i felt soo uncomfortable.. here i was trying to do my job and this guy was giving me the creeps. i just ignored him or at least i tried to..I fed the guy and clean him up, but i could not watch TV with him afterwards because his cousin was there. i heard them talking about me, but i could not make out what they were saying. all i heard was she is new, she is cutee then something about shy and african... i had an idea of what they were talking about though. i heard footsteps, i knew it was the cousin.. i just pretended like i was engrossed in a book i found on top of the table. i could feel him staring at me, but i intentionally refused to look at him. He was about to say something when my client called me. i walked so fast i thought i was going to fall down( i was like make this man do dey go now.. ahh ahh).I answered my client, he told me he wanted me to clean and change his catheter(u know the condom thing that connects to the tube which he uses to urinate) and this is the most embarrassing part of the job o.. at least for me. i bought the things i needed to clean and change him, his cousin decided to show up at that moment. i just stood there waiting for him to leave from 5 minutes to 20 minutes to 30 minutes...

my client: ms brownskin what are you waiting for?.. u can proceed

brownskin: hmm em em but but your cou your cousin...

my client: oh him, don't worry about him. just ignore him and carry on

brownskin: please Mr cousin can u excuse us for a moment

cousin: I'm watching a show i missed it the last time, i heard it was funny.. do you mind?

brownskin: its okay you can stay( i wanted to slap his cousin ehh, what is his own now)

I ignored him and resumed with the task at hand. As i was cleaning him, his penis decided to stand up again. i thought it was a mistake the first time. i was really hoping it wouldn't happen again, but it did. i acted as the professional that i am and carried on with what i was doing, but the unexpected happen not only was his penis sky-high, it actually moved. i thought i was mistaken or something, but when it moved again i stepped back, and as expected my clients and cousin were shaking with laughter. I was soo embarrassed. i know i should be used to it by now, but its wasn't fair. did they think this job is easy. i no blame them sha na condition make crayfish bend. i just raised my head up and cleaned him, the condom took me 2minutes this time( Glory be to God from 30minutes to 2minutes). no mind me jare.. people are saying their experts in dancing, singing,writing... me i dey happy say i be expert for condom wearing( i neva even reach expert stage, but i try sha.. its not easy o). I sha finished and walked up to both and gave them a deafening slap.. and told them to never laff at me again.. ahh ahh what do they mean by that, do i look like a clown( okay okay i didn't really do it, i was actually thinking of it sha.. lol . fear no let me slap person like that o and Agata for that matter)

5 hours later, the cousin finally left after trying to get my attention for hours ( see me see wahala o dem send u come). I thought he was okay before oo, but after all those intense staring and lips licking i was just too uncomfortable

My client's babe says i am too young to be working for him( because most people who have worked for him in the past are in their 40's or 50's). Talk about putting sand in some one's garri.. hmm i need this job. this woman let me be oo

I was talking to my uncle yesterday and he told me he did a similar job. he own case is different because he was a doctor back home, but u know since he has no paper and all that time, man must survive...

My uncle and his friend were working in this nursing home and they had to do the same thing i did with my job, just that they had 6 patients each and my client doesn't really defecate. well they started the job, everything was going fine until his friend started complaining

uncle's friend: bros i don tire for this job haba, which can thing be this who go believe say a whole doctor like me go dey clean person sheet. mehh this job don tire me oo. no be say the money make sense in the first place.

uncle: wetin we go do now, man must survive. make we just use this one hold body small before we write our exam

uncle's friend: i no no about u, but today is my last day oo. i no just fit again. worst comes to worst i go go back to naija, at least i still get dignity there..

My uncle's friend eventually left the job. my uncle still carried on. he was like its not that bad now this people to do sef..(his friend)... so this day my uncle has finish feeding and cleaning them up, one more patient to go.. my uncle fed and cleaned her up( he said him even decided to powder her. so she could scent nice). My uncle was about to leave her when he heard a booming farting sound, he just changed her less than 20 seconds ago. he was like okay let me just change her.. big mistake..... when he opened the diaper, the smell was intoxicating and the sheet was steaming hot, yea literally with smoke and all. there and then my uncle quit the job and worked away( i no say man must survive, i ll not kill myself now. a whole doctor like me..). job in this Yankee is not easy oo lol

HEAVY HEART

2009-03-11T04:48:00.000-07:00

My cousin who was on the coma from my last post just passed away two hours ago.... what more can i say.... May his soul rest in peace.